Tag: audible

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Since I turned forty, I have realized that I know absolutely nothing. You know how in your teenage years, you know everything? And then when you become a parent, you read the parent books – but you also think you are smarter than anyone else about how to parent? And for me, albeit not everyone, there were the years of mourning – where I really did nothing but exist. And then the years of creating a career, because as a single mom you really need one of those.

And then I turned 40. During my first hurricane. That is not a joke. My birthday is September 9, 1977. Google Irma. I live in Orlando. It was great. Yes, that’s sarcasm. But honestly, little did I know how much that hurricane was foreshadowing what was going to come.

Anyway, I went through what one might call an awakening. I had some serious health scares. I recognized my mortality. And I as I was typing that last sentence, I typed the morality on accident. Then I thought, maybe that wasn’t an accident. So I might have recognized my morality, also.

I am in a season of growth. And I love it. All the crap I have carried around for years, I am slowly dropping by the wayside. Bit by bit, my load gets lighter. My heart gets bigger, my smile grows larger, and I feel better. I am tackling each problem, one chunk at a time. And you know what is helping me do that? Look at the title. That’s right. Audible and Self-Help Books.

I love audible. I also love self help books. I don’t like to sit down and read – but I do like to drive and listen. I am a queen of multi-tasking, so audiobooks/podcasts, are my go -to. Some of my absolute favorite authors are – Brene Brown, Mel Robbins, Gabrielle Bernstein, Dave Ramsey, Steven Furtick, Denise Duffield, and Jen Sincero. And that’s just to name a few. Now, I don’t necessarily agree with every single bit, of every single book. And some of the bits I do agree with, I don’t necessarily apply.. because sometimes I am lazy and I suck. It is true though, that I learn something, and better myself in someway with each one.

So, Let me ask you – do you like audio-books or paper better? Also, what are some self-help books that you recommend? I’d love to hear it!

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I am in a mood. Not a particularly good one either. I’m working on it, though.

I realized in the past 24 hours, that I am human, and I expect others not to be. That’s a crappy revelation. I mean, you can be sitting there saying, “Duh. We know you are human. As are others.” I mean it like this.

I have emotions, expectations, and things I need. I feel like I express them eloquently. Sometimes, I am sure I do. I also realized, that sometimes, I don’t. For the past 15 hours or so, I have been beating myself up over this, internally. I hardly slept. I realized, that not everyone is a mind reader, and just because I know my intentions are good, doesn’t mean they do.

Then folks, I started to question everything about myself. Am I a good person? Am I a good friend? A good mom? Yeah, I know. I went way down a really sad place. I cried because I felt like I really hurt someone. And to be honest, I did. I hurt them. Not intentional – but I did.

After some crying, talking, and praying it hit me. If you had someone crying to you over this same situation – what would you say? Now say that to yourself, Kristie. So here it is. “You are a good person. A great friend. You are there for people no matter what. You made a mistake. It wasn’t intentional. You are owning your mistake. Learn from it and don’t do it again. That is all you can do.” So, I am doing it.

I get comments, emails, and really – people telling me all the time how ‘strong I am’ and ‘how positive I am’. I also get tough, grateful, loving, and a menagerie of beautiful adjectives. I often always try to swipe them down out of embarrassment. Please know that today I am clinging to those, and thank you. It is helping me right in this moment.

And right now, I really didn’t feel like writing. I really didn’t. So I just wrote what I was feeling. Here is something to know. Motivation doesn’t happen naturally, either. That’s my opinion, anyway. I think it is completely unnatural. Everyday, I have to listen to positive things. I stay listening to self help books. Like today, when I felt down, I went through my Audible arsenal, and re-listening to some positive books I have downloaded. I have to remind myself of all the blessings I have. Write them down. So gusy, I ain’t perfect. I am super-flawed. I just gotta keep working at it. Maybe tomorrow will be easier.

Love fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

Non-perfect, practicing, regular old me.