Tag: happylife

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So, Long time no talk, ammirite?

You wanna know why?  Because I have been trying to keep myself sane and my head above water.  First, you won’t believe it. 

I had Covid. 

Sure did.  The ‘rona caught up with me.  To be fair, I did okay.  Some of my co-workers struggled a lot more than I did.  I felt achy and had a headache.  Basically it.  OH!  And I lost my sense of taste.  It’s like getting tackled on the two yard line.  I got so close…. but in the end, she showed up and got me.  Luckily – no one else caught it, and I am now Covid free! And can I tell you, I was so scared.  This is Bella’s senior year, her graduation is tomorrow, and if I had missed it – That would have been terrible. 

I don’t mean that to make light of it in anyway.  I know how blessed I am that it wasn’t worse.  One of my dearest friends and his wife, they were both down for two weeks – and still not completely well.  I have had friends in the hospital, and know people who have lost family members to it. I was very, very blessed and lucky.

Now, let’s go on to something a little more uplifting, shall we?

Remember the lady that called me names, etc?  The one who made me cry in a facebook live video like Chris Crocker crying over Brittney Spears? I saw her.  I saw her in real life.  Face to face.  And let me tell you – Jesus and his angels must have came down and handcuffed my wrists and paralyzed my feet because it took everything I had to not call her out in front of the crowd that was there. Not to walk up and punch her square in the jaw.  I wanted to. I am human.  I really wanted to.  Guess what guys – I was the bigger person. I looked at her.  I saw that her daughter was with her.  I wouldn’t embarrass her in front of her kid.  (There is one difference between us), but I got another lesson in this. I really did.

I have never been that close to her.  In my whole life.  She was like 8 feet away.  And I realized that she was older than me.  Like, I knew she was older than me.  But I saw it.  She is a lovely woman (in appearance), but she visibly her age.  And It shocked me – that someone who looks that age, would act that way. And I know there is no age gap on gossip, meanness, or stupidity.  We all know that – but to be fair, it is the first time I ever encountered it.  You can expect that from girls. Even young women.   But to see someone over 50 – acting like a 20 year old.  It made me sad for her. 

And for clarity – it took about 5 days for that sadness to set in.  Definitely wanted to fight her for the first five.  Again, I’m human.  But when I thought on it – how sad it must be to feel the need to  spin stories on others’ lives for your own entertainment. Or maybe make yourself feel important? Some level of dissatisfaction has to be there. 

I want to make a declarative statement – God’s children fail.  We all do.  This woman is very Christian on her social media.  I want to make it clear – gossip, idle chatter – this is not okay.  This is not the way we as believers should behave.  Nor should we sit in judgement of others.  That is why I choose to pity her, and pray that my heart lets go of its anger.  We are getting there.

But I want to add, for anyone who may need to hear this, we know gossip is bad. Even so, we find it all too prevalent in society. Worst yet, it’s in our churches.

There are many reasons people struggle with this appalling, divisive, and detrimental act. One of the more obvious ones is justifying it because the gossiper believes what he or she is spreading is true. This is a basic misunderstanding many of us have, so let’s clear it up.

Biblically, gossip is sharing information that ought not be shared. It may or may not be true.

This is where we assume too much concerning gossip. Too many people think it’s OK to share information that shouldn’t be shared, because they believe it is true. So they justify sharing personal, private information that is nobody’s business to share. In their minds it’s fine to destroy things like relationships and reputations because, “Hey, if it’s true, they deserve it.”

Slander is spreading false information. We need to understand that one can be gossiping and slandering at the same time, and one can be gossiping and not slandering at the same time. In other words, gossip can be true and slander is false.

Some information is nobody’s business to share. So what if you have the dirt on somebody else? Why is it OK for you to spread other people’s personal and/or private information?

Jesus said, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (ESV).

True or not, don’t share others’ personal and/or private things. That’s gossip.

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”

“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends”

Both of those are from Proverbs. You want more info about gossip and what believers should do– there are a lot of great pastors out there who speak about it.  Pastor Jeff Adams at Paramount Christian Church has some great articles about it.

*Edited to add – Graduation was a huge success.  The podcast is going to launch in a couple weeks, and I am so happy in my life right now.  Thanks guys for always standing behind me.

Love Fully.  Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

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…. that song, “All I want for Christmas is you…..” really grinds my gears.

I can’t stand that song. I believe that it is on repeat for some reason, here in Florida.

My face when I hear that song.

I love Christmas songs.. serenade me – I love it!! But that one-I could do without. I got my kids so trained, that if it comes on, they all rush to skip it. Do you really only want that guy Mariah? You don’t want a cute set of Pj’s? Maybe some heels? A new lip gloss? Shoot -World Peace? I appreciate the sentiment, but nah. I’m also not a Mariah Carey fan, so there’s that. I like to be able to sing along with my music.

That being said, I was wondering, What is your Favorite Christmas song? Or even better, Christmas Memory?

My favorite Christmas song is “Rejoice with Exceeding Great Joy”. The first time I heard this was at Disney’s Candlelight. If you go to minute 28:27 in the below video – that’s the song. And if that doesn’t you dancing, well then your dancer is broke and you need to reevaluate all your life choices. LOL! I’m kinda kidding.. but I do love it.

On a more traditional note, “O Holy Night.” That one gets me in my feels every time. Or, anything that Dolly Parton sings.

My best Christmas memory? That is one where we got my mom a bathrobe she had really wanted. And my daddy put it in a toolbox, which she also wanted. But when she opened it and saw the robe, she threw it! She was excited! It’s funny – we focus so much as kids on what we want. Now, as an adult – My favorite memory is what someone else got.

Edited to add: Although, I did get a pair of “button over pants” – that were life changing. And it snowed that Christmas Day – and I wore

Anyway, what’s your faves? Drop a song or a memory!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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I have.

And it’s scary. You can be attacked in so many ways. Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually. Family can attack you. Friends can attack you. People you don’t even know or care to know.

Have you ever been called names?

I have. I have been called everything from fat to a whore. Sometimes the words hurt – sometimes they don’t. The day I got to where ‘name calling’ didn’t affect me, was this. There is a young lady that I have known since she was 5 years old. She is beautiful. Inside and out. And one day, during high school, she came home upset because some girls were being mean to her. (We all know how mean high school girls can be). We were talking on my porch, and she said through tears, “They called me fat!” We both burst out laughing. Why? Because there is nothing fat about this girl. She weighed about 85 lbs soaking wet and was around 5’4″ tall. Now? She might be 110 as a grown woman. But what I saw in that moment was childlike name calling. They called her fat – because they are insecure – about their body. So to them, calling someone fat was the worst insult – because it’s the worst to them.

So from that point on, name calling really hasn’t affected me, unless it was by someone I actually cared about. And that might have happened 10 times in 10 years or so. And five of them were by the same person… LOL! So, If you are called a whore, maybe they aren’t proud of themselves and actions they made, Fat – they have body issues, Ugly – they are insecure about their appearance.

I have my own insecurities, of course. But I what I don’t do, is project them on others. If you are a person who does that – stop and go to therapy. I used to do that, I hope not externally, but I am sure I did internally. I regret that.

Now, people who don’t know me – often say I am “scary and intimidating”. This makes me laugh, because for those who do know me – know that I am private, loyal, and caring. I will go above and beyond for anyone who needs help. I care too much about others at times, which is a reason I don’t let too many people into my life. Only those I trust. Now, you try to mess with my inner circle – don’t feel intimidated. Feel scared. That’s when it will get real.

Have you ever had someone try to force you to lose faith in a person, thinking that they could rock your world?

I have.

In all of my relationships, I create a safe space. With my kids, my family, my friends, all of them. I will never judge you. You can always tell me the truth, and it’s safe. Perfect example is my kids. I remember one day when my middle baby was acting weird in elementary school. She came home from school, and was awkward – but what fourth grader isn’t awkward? So- I didn’t say anything. Then, she came at me in tears, and told me she had messed up at school that day. She had an altercation with another kid on the playground and had spit on her and called her ‘stupid’. She felt guilty and didn’t know what to do. We talked about it, and we came to the conclusion that she should apologize the next day.

Fast forward two hours. Knock at the Door. And for those of you who know me in Fredericksburg – you know who this person was. And I hear this, “Do you know what your daughter did at school today?” I am definitely not thinking about this spitting/stupid thing, because I am a mom with other stuff going on. “What?” And she went off. Like an actual lunatic. Twice in my life I have had to shut the door in someone’s face. Because of crazy. That was the first time. I had to shut the door to protect my child. She didn’t need to hear the ugly that was happening. She just didn’t.

And let me tell you, when you sit in honesty and non-judgement of someone. You sit in the mirror – and choose to love people through their ugly. You will experience freedom and peace like never before. Threats mean nothing. Name-calling, means nothing. Because you work and create an honest environment. When she tried to put my child on blast, but I already knew – I just gazed in shock that she was actually at my home embarrassing herself. Self-righteously not knowing the other side. Believing – that she was right, and everyone else was wrong. And she even called me names. Who does that? Like for real?

Anyway, I say all that to say this one thing. Give grace to people that you love. Give them a safe place to talk and be authentic. Tell them all your ugly – and let them tell you theirs, and sit in non-judgement of that. I am so grateful that I do that with everyone that is involved in my life. Because when you do – it’s beautiful. Now, I am going to give you some basic advice for life.

  1. Make peace with your past, so it doesn’t affect your present or future.
  2. Time makes everything better. What hurts today will probably be less tomorrow.
  3. You aren’t going to know the answers to everything, and that’s okay. You will figure it out when you least expect it.
  4. What other people think about you – is not your concern. Who cares. You know you. That’s what matters. Make sure you are a person that you are proud of.
  5. Don’t compare your lives to other people – and don’t judge them. You have no idea what their journey is about.
  6. Only you can control your happiness. No one else.
  7. Smile. The problems of the world are not all yours to own. And when you smile, it makes people wonder what you have been up to.

I am so happy in my life right now. I feel loved and important. I feel prioritized. My kids are hilarious and hard workers. My parents are the best. I mean, life isn’t easy – it never is, but goodness – life is amazing. I am so grateful for every single aspect of my life.

And what made me write all this? I encountered some crazy, to be honest. And have you ever encountered something so crazy, that you just sit back and breathe a big sigh of relief, that it isn’t your issue? And it makes you reflect, hug, kiss, and say extra gratitude prayers for all those you have? It made me grateful for proper upbringing, the way my family taught me to handle conflict, breeding, and class. It made me thankful for training, also. And for being with people that openly communicate and talk. One day, there is going to be a guide book on this – and I am going to co-author it. Because, we got this down.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.