Tag: internet gangster

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I look tough here, right? I mean – A welding, helmet – that’s intimidating.

Well, well, well.  The time has come for me to make a proclamation.  Internet Gangsters- our society has no need for you. 

Thanks.  End of Blog.

Kidding, obviously. I am gonna write more about it.  Let me start at the beginning.  Being a writer is hard.  Actually, putting your craft out in a public forum is hard.  So if you don’t do that – read and learn.  Because everyone, in some form or fashion, does something – that others could make fun of. But not everyone, does something in the public eye. Especially, the very public eye on the internet. Every time I put up a blog post, I run the risk of being ridiculed.  Anytime, a  You Tuber posts a video, they are putting their craft out there.  An artist showing their work.  A singer posting a video or sound cloud of them singing, everyone becomes a Simon Cowell. Now, do we know that we are putting ourselves out there to be reidiculed? Of course. But we do it anyway. Why? Because we are sharing.

And that, my friends, is courageous.  Any time someone is vulnerable, they leave themselves open for ridicule. And choosing to be vulnerable anyway, well, that’s freaking awesome to me.

And what I WILL NOT DO – is ever, never, ever – make fun of someone being courageous.  Why would you?  Aren’t we all humans doing this life thing, together? 

Here is what I do with  opinions that are different than mine- I keep scrolling.  If I see a video that I don’t like?  I keep scrolling.  And let me get this really clear – I am not talking about people who have a different opinion, profess it eloquently, without just being mean.  I am talking about the people who literally just say things to be mean. 

If you read this blog, which I guess you do since you are here, I have it set to where I have to approve comments.  I do that, because years ago, I didn’t.  Someone left a comment, and although they were being super sweet, they used language that I wasn’t a huge fan of. I mean, if you curse you curse – I ain’t judging. I just don’t want it typed out on my page. My momma and kids read this blog. 

I digress.  Well, on the blog post about being a widow, I got a lot of great feedback.  I receeived so many sweet comments! People sent me emails of encouragement. They left super amazing comments and asked for advice on Facebook.   And I also got the internet gangster comment.  This obviously, was deleted by me.  But now, I wish I hadn’t.

It said this.  “Widowed young with kids, huh?  I wonder if that is really true.  You are probably just another pretty face hired by corporate America where someone else is writing this bulls*** to make money.  And if it’s true – and least you had f-ing kids and f-ing family.  Some people don’t have anybody.”

Hmmmmm.  Insert blind rage right here.  FYI – they were “anonymous”.  Chicken.

Anyway.  I cried for a minute.  It hurt my feelings.  I thought, how in the world, when I am trying to help people, can people be so ugly?  I mean, obviously, what I write is true.  Google me, jackhole.  It’s not rocket science.   And then it hit me.  So this part, is for that person.

Dear Internet Gangster,

Thank you, anonymous.  First, I appreciate the fact that you called me pretty.  A really talented photographer took the photos you see.  I am so grateful for his skill and showing what I wanted the world to see!  Second, thank you for being so mean.  If I have people that don’t like what I am doing, that means I am spreading my message outside my regular folks, and my comfort zone.  That is a sign that I am succeeding – and I am so grateful for that.  Third, although we all say, you can’t please everyone – I think a lot of us still want to.  So this was a big lesson for me also.  And I realize now, I can’t please you. And that’s okay.  Fourth, a couple years ago, that comment would have made me quit writing.  Now, I just used it for material.  And yes, internet gangster – I have called you names in this post.  Why?  Because, well – I am still human.   You are still a bully.  And it was rude.  And, I thought calling you names would make me feel better.  It really didn’t.

That being said.  You are hurt, and I see it.  So now, I am going to do the thing that is for real the hardest for me.  I am going to pray for you – and the other Internet Gangsters out there, who are struggling like you are.  You are obviously lashing out in anger, in a forum of being anonymous – because maybe,  you don’t have people to talk to.  And if lashing out at me makes you feel better?  Bring it.  I can take it.  I mean, read my blog. I’ve been through worse.  A lot worse.  I am also a lot stronger and a whole lot braver than you gave me credit for.  So, good luck homie.  And keep your anonymous comments coming.

Love Fully. Live Fully.  Shine on.

Sat nam,

Kristie

So there we have it.  Donezo.  Now, if you are part of this cruelty culture that we apparently are cultivating on the internet,  think about if you would actually say it in front of the person.  You might would.

Think about this. If you wouldn’t want them to say it about your work, you, or your family – think again before you comment.  Then ask yourself, why do you feel compelled to comment?  To belittle another  human? To make yourself feel better?  What is the reason?  If it isn’t for personal growth of that other person, then don’t.  I am all up for positive critiquing.   Even a well-spoken opinion.  But if you are doing it, just to make yourself feel good an/or belittle another human – Well, grow up.

Some of us, want to bring others happiness. Be part of that culture.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On. Sat nam.

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I mean, honestly. Boulders and clubs might . But sticks and stones? Nah.

Tonight while surfing the web, I got a great idea for a blog.  One that has affected me my whole life.  And something that I haven’t conquered – but is a work in progress.  You know the old saying, “Sticks and stones can break by bones but words will never hurt me?”  Well, that’s a big fat lie. First, I am gonna self admit – I have done a whole lot more damage with my words than ever with my fists.  I have had my fair share of run ins with sticks and stones… from falling down hills, playing sports, you name it.  But, I can honestly say – that not one single stick or stone has broken a bone. Ever.  Maybe made a bruise, but nothing that I can even really remember.  I am just sure in the course of my life so far – it has had to happen.  

Words on the other hand, can break your heart.  Words are something that can only be forgiven – no guarantee forgotten.  You know, looking back on old photos and videos – I can remember a lot of conversations – funny little things that I had previously forgotten.  But I remember those words.  Now, in the age of social media – it seems so much more prevalent. People will trash talk their spouses. Make fun of other people. Critique someone’s clothes, makeup, or even a birth mark.  People can say anything they want to someone, because they don’t have to look them in the eye.  My term for them, are internet gangsters. Here is a rule of thumb — if I wouldn’t say it if they are sitting in front of me – I will never type it.  And that goes in all areas  —  I’ve been hurt enough by words – I am sure we all have — so I don’t ever want to do that to anyone else.  

This week- THIS FREAKING WEEK – I was upset, and I said something I didn’t mean. I wasn’t even mad at the person I was talking to, I was just all up in my own feels. When they told me that they were hurt – It broke my heart. My mouth did it again. I couldn’t do anything but apologize. And this person, is super gracious, said that they understood, and accepted my apology. Now, I need to work a hundred times harder – to show that person that I meant it.  

I have even made the mistake my kids.  When you say, “You are grounded until you are 100!” — well, we know that’s not gonna happen.  I mean, I don’t normally say 100 . I do though, make more dramatic statements of punishment, than what would actually fit the crime. So then, when I calm down, I have to explain that I was angry, that was dramatic, and here is the actual punishment. I have had to do this more than once.  You get what I am sayin’, I’m sure. 

Let me tell you something, the word “whatever”, “nothing”, ‘I’m fine”….  I used to say it all the time. I know its a joke that when a woman says, “Nothing is wrong..” – that means something is.  Honestly, isn’t it sometimes so much easier to say those responses?  Like, it’s easier to say that you don’t care – than to explain all the reasons that you do. And why? Because if you don’t want to be vulnerable and show how you really feel.  And I know I feel that way sometimes.  That being said, if something is wrong. Say it. Don’t scream it. Maybe you know you are being moody – preface it with that. Because let me tell you -everyone has been moody. Everyone. Wouldn’t you rather someone tell you what’s wrong ? I know I do. Then you aren’t guessing. Worrying. Do everyone and yourself a favor.

Here’s my challenge to you. Watch your words. Tell your truth.

Be kind to each other.  Life is too short. 

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On. Sat nam.