Well, this is gonna be short. I didn’t plan this blog, she just kinda flew out my fingertips. I have had a good day. No major issues. Hiccups. All good. Then, out of nowhere, “WHAM!” I got slammed by a flood of emotions that I didn’t see coming. Long story short – in a previous blog I wrote about the best friend break-up. (You can click the underlined part to read that if you haven’t). Well, some of their social media popped up in my world – and it was like I was stabbed all over again. I guess, I should just feel blessed that I don’t know how you do that. How you just drop someone for literally no reason/no explanation.
Anyway. That sucked. Tears were burning my eyes. I shut my office door. I cried for a second, cause my feelings were re-hurt. And then I did it. I made a phone call. I called and I cried. And guess what !? I wasn’t made fun of, I was listened to, and I ended up laughing at the end. So I say all that, to say this. I am so grateful. In a moment of yucky – I realized that I have so much to be grateful over. And guys, when you are upset, let it out to someone you trust. I started off feeling crazy for being emotional. I ended up receiving understanding and a deeper connection with them? Why? Because I got vulnerable and showed emotion instead of choking it down. So, try it. Let it out.
I mean, honestly. Boulders and clubs might . But sticks and stones? Nah.
Tonight while surfing the web, I got a great idea for a blog. One that has affected me my whole life. And something that I haven’t conquered – but is a work in progress. You know the old saying, “Sticks and stones can break by bones but words will never hurt me?” Well, that’s a big fat lie. First, I am gonna self admit – I have done a whole lot more damage with my words than ever with my fists. I have had my fair share of run ins with sticks and stones… from falling down hills, playing sports, you name it. But, I can honestly say – that not one single stick or stone has broken a bone. Ever. Maybe made a bruise, but nothing that I can even really remember. I am just sure in the course of my life so far – it has had to happen.
Words on the other hand, can break your heart. Words are something that can only be forgiven – no guarantee forgotten. You know, looking back on old photos and videos – I can remember a lot of conversations – funny little things that I had previously forgotten. But I remember those words. Now, in the age of social media – it seems so much more prevalent. People will trash talk their spouses. Make fun of other people. Critique someone’s clothes, makeup, or even a birth mark. People can say anything they want to someone, because they don’t have to look them in the eye. My term for them, are internet gangsters. Here is a rule of thumb — if I wouldn’t say it if they are sitting in front of me – I will never type it. And that goes in all areas — I’ve been hurt enough by words – I am sure we all have — so I don’t ever want to do that to anyone else.
This week- THIS FREAKING WEEK – I was upset, and I said something I didn’t mean. I wasn’t even mad at the person I was talking to, I was just all up in my own feels. When they told me that they were hurt – It broke my heart. My mouth did it again. I couldn’t do anything but apologize. And this person, is super gracious, said that they understood, and accepted my apology. Now, I need to work a hundred times harder – to show that person that I meant it.
I have even made the mistake my kids. When you say, “You are grounded until you are 100!” — well, we know that’s not gonna happen. I mean, I don’t normally say 100 . I do though, make more dramatic statements of punishment, than what would actually fit the crime. So then, when I calm down, I have to explain that I was angry, that was dramatic, and here is the actual punishment. I have had to do this more than once. You get what I am sayin’, I’m sure.
Let me tell you something, the word “whatever”, “nothing”, ‘I’m fine”…. I used to say it all the time. I know its a joke that when a woman says, “Nothing is wrong..” – that means something is. Honestly, isn’t it sometimes so much easier to say those responses? Like, it’s easier to say that you don’t care – than to explain all the reasons that you do. And why? Because if you don’t want to be vulnerable and show how you really feel. And I know I feel that way sometimes. That being said, if something is wrong. Say it. Don’t scream it. Maybe you know you are being moody – preface it with that. Because let me tell you -everyone has been moody. Everyone. Wouldn’t you rather someone tell you what’s wrong ? I know I do. Then you aren’t guessing. Worrying. Do everyone and yourself a favor.
Here’s my challenge to you. Watch your words. Tell your truth.