Category: Just for Fun

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Welp.  It’s almost May.  2021. For some, 2020 was a terrible year.  Most, I’d say.  But for me? 2021 – that’s the one.  That’s the one that has tried me. 

  1. My parents live in Tennessee – both had Covid in Nov/Dec – and were still recovering this year.
  2. Hashimoto’s and SLE – have kicked my butt. Some days literally – some days figuratively.
  3. I watched a couple people that I adore, come under attack.  Brutally.
  4. My son, my little son, has had such a tough time.  From School, to home, to growing.  His teeth.  He’s been such a trooper.
  5. I have seen my kids experience heartbreak. 
  6. My Company was sold – and I was afraid I would lose my job.
  7. My son learned not all friends are really friends, and why I am kind to everyone – yet keep my circle small.
  8. I have been called names, made fun of, called ugly – all because I chose to do the right thing. By people that don’t even know me.
  9. I have seen my daughter shook to the core, by the above. Realizing that someone that she respected was a complete fraud.

But guess what guys!  Let’s flip that script – because I am over that!

  1. My parents are better, vaccinated, and doing well.
  2. My doctor is quite amazing, and it working with me to get myself and my meds all straight and get me feeling 100%.
  3. The two people I saw attacked, are thriving.  Literally.  Healed physically and mentally.
  4. My boy – he’s getting braces. Getting teeth pulled. And homeschooling.  I believe that he has found a good flow, and so have I, and he is doing much better. 
  5. My heartbroken babies? Back in the saddle and moving on – and realizing that there are other fish in the sea.
  6. Albeit my position switched, I feel more productive, and more utilized, than I ever.
  7. I want to find the upside to betrayal and lying- but I can’t.  Jacoby was crushed by this.  The only thing I can say about that is that it might can prep him for the future? I dunno, on that one. One day – I will right a full blog about that whole situation. 
  8. I’m proud of my integrity.  I am proud of who I am. I am proud for standing firm in what I believe.  And I am proud – that I am not a mean, catty, hateful girl. 
  9. It was a good lesson, albeit one that I wish no one needed – ever in life. And that just because people have alot of age on them, doesn’t mean they aren’t catty and gossipy. But hey – it is what it is.

And let me add… all this occurred, while attending college full-time.  OH?  What was my grades for the semester, you ask? 4.0.  What is my overall GPA? 4.0. OH!  And also all while prepping a new business venture.  But whatever, no big deal.

So, I work full-time.  Go to school full-time.  I’m a single mom of three. And I would not change a thing. I am proud of myself. I’m grateful for the closeness between my kids and myself over the past year or so. 

I finally went back to school to get a degree in something that I work in.  Not Geology- not dinosaurs – Business Leadership and Economics… LOL!  Not near as interesting as Dinosaurs, but a lot more useful . For years, I have pushed back the fear of going back as an adult, overcoming massive internal resistance, and choosing to take the leap despite feeling like I am  jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.

Starting this business is one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. It has dredged up all my deepest insecurities, triggers,and feelings I’d rather stuff down and ignore, and brought me face to face with the most fragile, vulnerable parts of me.

The fact that I have done either of these things are huge. Monumental, really. Just the fact that I chose to get up and say it is an accomplishment worth acknowledging and celebrating. A lot of folks don’t. They will do what they’ve always done and remain stuck in discontent, wishing they could know a life less limited.  Blaming their situation or others for ways they are unhappy.

But Me?  I’m trying. I’m taking a chance at being the woman I want to be, knowing full well there are no guarantees. And let me tell you – I see myself as a freaking Rockstar. I am not one to brag  – but I am gonna tell you – I’m proud of me. And there are no apologies for that. 

Bring it 2021.  We lets ride this wave out.

Love Fully. Live fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

And for those of you who have asked, I Love Yoga. It’s part of my daily life.  When I lived in VA – my license plate actually said, “Luv Yoga”.  Kundalini Yoga is one of my favorite forms –  and Sat Nam is a mantra often used. Like namaste in other styles of yoga, Sat Nam is used as both a closing salutation at the end of class and as a general greeting. In this context, Sat Nam acknowledges the true nature or the Divine within the person being greeted. So in a way, the best part of me, acknowledges the best part of you. Hope that helped!  (Gabrielle Bernstein has some amazing Kundalini Yoga videos on YouTube since we aren’t doing classes right now!)

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You know what I hate? When people say – “choose happiness”. It’s not that simple, guru. You don’t know what I have went through. You don’t know they pain I have been subjected to. You don’t know my health struggles. So guess what? If I was capable of simply “choosing” happiness – I would do it! Right? I mean, I think I’m right. Am I right?

Of course I am – but I am also completely wrong.

Choosing happiness, doesn’t mean that you won’t have moments of sadness, anger, fear, dread, or embarrassment. I think, that choosing happiness means that you literally acknowledge those moments – and choose to move on from them. You know I am going to give personal examples, right?

I am going to talk about two separate friendships. One male. One female. And for about two to three years, I was close to both of them. Me and the female? Never had a real spat or disagreement. Me and the male? One disagreement, but we both moved on from it. Before the pandemic, I had lost touch with the girl. She literally ghosted. I still to this day don’t know what happened. I know she was going through a lot of personal things in her life, and maybe she chose to focus on that and only that. The guy, made a move during the pandemic. And during the pandemic – my life went into chaos. You all know. Freaking chaos. Not making excuses at all – just stating facts.

So, as far as the female goes – I don’t know, and I probably never will. And I hope all is okay. But there is nothing I can do about it. So, I see pics of us every now and then – and now I choose happiness. I choose to smile, and I am grateful for the fun times and laugher. And every time one pops up, I say a little prayer for her. I believe that she was doing the best she could at the time.

With the guy? It’s a little different. There were things I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t. Things I wanted to confide, but I wasn’t sure how to. Things I was scared of – so I acted tough. I wasn’t a good friend to him. Not near as good of a friend to him as he was to me, looking back. But I also know, that at that time of my life, I was doing the best I could. I was fighting my own insecurities. My own demons. I am still so grateful for that friendship, though. I called him to apologize once, but no answer. He could have blocked me, his number could have changed, I don’t know. What I do know, is that I choose to look back at our fun moments, and be happy. I choose to pray for him often, and that he becomes brilliantly successful – because he is super talented! And I pray, that if our paths ever cross again, that God gives me the words so he can hear how grateful I actually am to have known him. Because I believe I was doing the best I could at the time.

Now, you may say to yourself, “Self! Those are a lot easier to choose happiness over – You don’t know my struggle, you don’t know what I’ve been through.” You are right. I don’t. And I am not saying that I choose happiness in each situation. I don’t. Not at first. But I get there. I had someone close to me steal from me. They literally stole my money from my account. It caused a big financial issue for me. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I dreamed of beating them about the neck and throat. But… I didn’t. And it took some time, but I am so glad that I am not filled with so much greed or irresponsibility – that I would put myself before others. Or feel like I had to steal to survive. You see, if she would have asked. I would have just given it to her – what I could. And then, I would have looked for help elsewhere. It hurt, yes. But I choose to be happy despite of that. I believe that she was doing the best she could at the time.

I’ve been cheated on. That sucks. Big time. I was big mad. But through therapy – I realized that cheating was a symptom of a bigger problem. We broke up, cause I couldn’t get past it. Now, I look back and smile. And I am actually friends with him and we have seen each other a lot since then. He is married – has two beautiful daughters, and is a great husband and daddy. He has apologized for it – and although that was tough and it hurt, it was his issue – not mine. So I choose to be happy for the fun memories, and happy that he is happy and such a good person to his family! And again, I believe he was doing the best he could at the time.

I found my husband dead. That was tragic. And scary. I mourned. I grieved. But I found happiness. I am happy that he is in heaven. I am happy that I got to bear witness to himself turning his life around. But his death taught me something. Live well today. Forgive, today. Don’t go to bed angry. I think that’s why so many people struggle, because they forget that this is all we have. This life, this moment is the only guarantee we have because tomorrow the doctor may tell us we only have a few weeks to live. Tomorrow, a drunk driver can kill us. Tomorrow, our world could end. But TODAY at this moment, we are alive, and if we really believe that we are going to die, how much better can we live today? We can live so much better. When we really hold onto the truth that life isn’t going to go on forever, we can believe it and savor every moment. I think this is the gift of death. Death can remind us to live well today. When we forget, we struggle. When we forget, we hang onto fears and anxieties, hopes that preclude us from living here and now well. The one thing that is guaranteed is that this life on planet Earth will end. If you knew, that tomorrow could be your last I bet you would behave differently, I know I would.

Again, I am not some saint. I am not some perfect guru. (See Facebook video from a month or so ago, the mimicked Britney 2007). My page is public, feel free to go watch. And no, I haven’t taken it down, because that is part of my story. No need to delete, and it reminds me that I am growing everyday – because I have yet to physically assault the said insult thrower. (Yet, keep praying for me ya’ll, cause I wanna. I wanna hit her hard.) But I am growing everyday. Speaking of that – “Hey girl, you are probably reading this – I appreciate all the hits. It really helps me in search engines. But FYI, posts about my husband who passed away, and my son – should be off limits. Those weren’t a “crazy lady” – those were broken hearted. Girl, choose kindness and quit being a gossip and spreading false info. Grow up – I mean, you are literally an adult – I’m an adult – and you are older than me! Quit making kids uncomfortable. Quit hurting people – because you are hurt. Think of the dangers of your mouth. And remember, you with all of your claims of loving Jesus – You are gonna have to stand before him one day for this. He knows about your gossiping. He knows that you gossip to give yourself an elevated sense of importance, because you feel unheard. He knows what you do, why you do it, what you say with your lips, and what you do with your heart. Don’t ruin your testimony. Find happiness in your day today. Like I am doing. Feel free to send this one to your friends, too. And, I forgive you – albeit I am still angry by it. Feel free to contact me. I am willing to talk. You don’t have to mock my writing looking at insights to my soul. You can ask. This is really who I am. That’s the difference between us. What you see is what you get.

So again kids, be happy. Choose it – even if you feel like you can’t. And if you can’t in that moment – maybe you can in an hour. A day. But one day – choose it. Don’t waste your days with resentment and hatred, we only have a few – and they will never be enough. And be grateful. I am loved. My kids treat me like a princess. My parents are hilarious. I am on a waitlist for a puppy. And my gel main/pedi is still fly, three weeks later.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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Of course, something stems me, and I write a blog.

I was made fun of. I cried – hard – after I saw this woman make fun of me.  She made fun of something she assumed I wrote. She made fun of my face. What affected me the most? Making fun of my face.  I’ll tell you why.  One, I am confidant in my writing and my skills.  That’s math.  Numbers don’t lie This week, my blog was read in 15 different countries, and in 41 states. This year? It was 54 countries and all 50 states. United States #1 – England #2 – Australia and New Zealand tied for #3.  Another place that my blog is read and followed a lot? Nepal.  So crazy.  

Two, I am transparent.  My Facebook page is public.  I hide nothing.  So everyone can come and see what they want to see. Of course, I use filters.  I also retouch.  I get pimples.  I get dark circles. I never hide that.  I’ve seen this woman numerous times in real life. Her profile pic is beautiful. It is also retouched.  And why in the world would you not put the best photo of yourself out there.  Be clear – I am not throwing shade.  I am saying if you like your pic filtered and it makes you feel better? Filter it!  I often say, publicly – that my makeup routine mimics that of a successful drag queen.  And I love it.  I also love my face scrubbed and clean. ? There are a ton of photos out there of me with no filters and no makeup. Again.  My Facebook page is public.  I don’t hide a thing about my appearance.

Another transparent moment? I hate the fact that I don’t have eyebrows or eyelashes.  I hate it.

But I was called ugly.  That I filter my pics.  I was told that I write on a third-grade level. The third-grade level comment didn’t phase me.  One – that is just false.  If she isn’t capable of reading it – that’s on her – but I have been published numerous times, (twice in two scientific journals), along with this blog-so that part didn’t hurt me.  That’s like telling Pavarotti he can’t sing.  You might not like it, but that does not mean that he isn’t talented.

But I am self-conscious of my face.  I have clear eyebrows and they are few.  I also do not have eyelashes.  After I had chemo, they never came back in.  So yeah, that hurt me because she literally took the one thing that I can’t do anything about – the thing that I can’t help – and made fun of me for it.  To be fair, she probably didn’t know that I had cancer.  But key point – you never know – so don’t be mean. Below is a slide show, click through. Two filtered. Rest unfiltered. All on Facebook or the blog. Scroll down though guys, there’s more.

All of this done, by a woman that I had done nothing to but been kind.  And why? Because I won’t crucify or slam someone.  I am made fun of – because I give grace.  I am made fun of – because I will not girl gang up.  There were so many other assumptions, that were completely wrong.  It was gossip.  Literally it said, “I can’t confirm” – well if you can’t confirm, you shouldn’t be speaking. If you want to know – you can email me. Call me.  I will tell you everything. And let me tell you something – it was so apparent that this woman had focused so long on my life, and trying to figure it out, it blows my mind.

And in the big scheme of things, by her being a “mean girl” – she literally helped me more than she can ever know.  The outpouring of love and support was huge. I have a great group of women that are around me and build me up every day. But this went way beyond that.  I knew that Michelle, Tamara, Rachel, Crystal, and Jenn – those girls got my back.  This was over 300 – READ THAT – 300 PEOPLE.  Over three hundred people took the time to comment, text, or dm me.  I am so grateful.  So freaking grateful.  

Unfortunately, through her selfish comments – she hurt a few people. But the ones she intended to hurt, she actually lifted. Funny how that works.

Now, lets get down to what I want to say. This woman speaks Christianity.  Offers prayers for others. She does not look like me.  She does not talk like me. She just does not.  But please do not judge a book by it’s cover.

I have bleach blonde hair.  Sometimes it has looked like a rainbow. I have tattoos.  My clothing style is just that – MY STYLE.  I like what I like and how I like it. I know people talk about the way I dress.  Talk about my hair.  Ask anyone who has ever been out with me in public, every single time, this is said, “I love your hair”,  “I wish I had the courage to do that”, or “You look like Pink!”  This past weekend, I literally had a guy run up to me, because he got excited because he thought I was.  And I love Jesus. Why? Because I have made mistakes, and I have been given grace.  I have not known how I would function the next day, and he got me up.  Jesus is the one who got me here today. Jesus is the one who has taught me radical grace, and radical non-judgement. And my number one goal, it create a life, and a story – of just that.

I promise, I will never judge you.  I will always be a shoulder to cry on.  I will call you out on your trash.  And I accept being called out on mine.  And I will grow and learn from it.  But my only request, is that people need to be more accepting. People need to be more accepting of others growing and learning from their mistakes.

It’s one thing to call people out on their crap, but once they accept it and begin to learn and grow from it – you we need to be accepting and lift them up. So right now – publicly – I am calling her out on her crap.  And at the same time, I want to lift her up.  I believe she is better than this.  Maybe she doesn’t have enough friends.  Maybe she was excited to be involved in gossip.  I don’t know.

I have all the photos of the messages. And it being Facebook, it shows the name, and the profile pic. I could post it.  I could send it to her employer. I could say this is the way this person talks about parents and people she whom she does not know.  I could cause pain and hurt in her community.  Complete shock in her community. 

But I won’t.  Why? I don’t want to ruin her testimony to others – the way she ruined her testimony to me.  I do not want her family to be hurt by my actions, the way she hurt mine.  I don’t want to ruin her reputation.  And the meanness, just would.  Six people (besides myself) – 5 who know her and one who doesn’t – has seen the messages. (Well seven, but I don’t know that person).  The five who knew her – were floored.  Floored. Michelle, the interceptor, was shocked.

So as a person who loves Jesus.

I don’t team hate.  Ever.  I listen to people.  You want to know why? I have been on the other end of mean girls over and over.  You don’t know what someone has been through.  You do not.   In the past few months – I have been called so many horrible names. Made fun of. Had my intelligence insulted. And every night, I go to bed with peace. Because I know I have loved as I am called to love, I have given as I have been called to give. I have been real. I have been factual. And I have been transparent. I have never been a victim of my own choices, I have championed all my mistakes into growth.

That doesn’t mean, that I don’t want to punch some people in the face. It doesn’t mean, that I don’t struggle with literally posting everything and I have, and say let’s go.

What that means though, is that I won’t.

Romans 12:19 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

So, today I choose happiness. I choose productivity. I choose to love people and lift them up they way they did for me. I choose love. I choose peace. And I choose prayer for those who hurt me. I added some more stuff for you to see, some texts and dm’s from some amazing people. Let’s find the positive in the negative.

And to tie in the title and image? Google that crow.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/05/27/the-oddly-sweet-story-of-a-crow-that-stole-a-knife-from-a-crime-scene/ He meddled in a murder scene.

Don’t be that guy. LOL!

Love fully. Live fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

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Facts.

The End.

Just Kidding.

This week has been a roller coaster for me. A huge roller coaster. Shoot, who am I kidding. My life has been a huge roller coaster for the past month. Let’s recap, shall we? My son’s car literally somewhat explodes while he is driving it, in front of me. (Just the transmission, but when you are a mom, heart attack.) The company that I worked for, loved and adored, was bought out. My baby turned eleven. We announced the podcast.

And this morning, I snapped at my kids, and I sat in my car and cried for about ten minutes before I went into my job.

What’s wrong? It hurts to hold the steering wheel. To type is so difficult sometimes. I hardly slept at all last night. Sometimes I get so cold I feel like I am laying in the middle of a snowstorm. Then two hours later, I am pretty sure I am frying under a saguaro in the middle of the Arizona Desert. I have fallen in public because my feet hurt. I have crawled to the bathroom. I have turned on the water with my elbow to wash my hands because they feel locked up. So what’s wrong? I have Lupus. SLE Lupus (Systemic lupus erythematosus) and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.

So basically? My immune system attacks my own tissues. So, I kick my own butt. Get the title? Clever, I know.

I’m private. I don’t put my business on front street. But this morning, after my ten minute pity party, I decided to pull it together, and maybe I can help somebody with this. Just so they know they aren’t by themselves.

Some days, I have no idea how I am actually going to physcially walk down to the car. But somedays, I get on my treadmill and run three miles. Sometimes, I can’t even hold hands. Somedays, I can hold hands and play a game of mercy along with it. Somedays my skin itches so bad, I cry because it hurts to touch it, but it itches. So it’s like having a bad itch that you can’t scratch. Somedays, my skin is perfect without a flaw. Somedays, when I cry, my tears feel like acid running down my cheeks. Somedays are so amazing that I laugh until I cry, and I love that. Somedays I am afraid that this disease will kill me. Somedays, I feel like I can live forever.

What triggers me? Changes in my thyroid meds (which happened this week, go figure). Excitement, nervousness, fear. Near death experiences – and by that, I mean that feeling you get when a tractor trailer comes over three lanes and about side swipes you? Yeah, that has literally triggered a flare.

But, I’m lucky. I have such a great support system. My friends, my family, my kids, my sweetie – everyone. But what makes me even luckier is this – A couple weeks or so ago, when the whole merger was going through, I was alot worse than I am today. I was laying in my bed, and I finally fell asleep. When I woke up, my hand was being held, and I was being prayed for. Folks, that’s powerful. Tears running down his face, praying…

I laid there and watched him, cause he didn’t know I had awoken. And shoot, I wondered if I was about see something… LOL. But all I saw, was a person who was broken for another person. The next morning, my oldest son who rides to work with me, picked my hand up off the gear shift, and kissed it. And he said he hopes I feel better. I was alot better then, but he could look at my hands and see it.

I have been accused of having a perfect life. My life isn’t perfect by any means. My everyday is a struggle. But everyday, I choose my path. I can choose gratitude, or grievance. I can choose pain, or passion. I can choose fighting, or freedom. And not everyday I make the right choice. Somedays, I lay in my bed and cry. Somedays, I cry before I walk into work. Somedays, I wonder if I will ever make it the next day.

But somedays, aren’t most days. Most days, I choose wisely. I get up and do yoga. I eat healthy. I do my hair and makeup. I take my medicine like I should, gluten is a no-no, and I listen to others with inflammatory issues.

But more importantly, I choose to love like Jesus loves. I choose gratitude because I am so loved, so honored, and so blessed. I choose forgiveness, so I have the freedom to live a passion filled life. I choose grace, because so many people have real issues in their lives, and to honest, I have medical insurance, a great job, and so many people who love me. What more can someone want?

So this is my story. My truth. So yeah, I might not look sick today. My eyelashes are perfect, brows even better. But that doesn’t mean that just because people look great, that they don’t have troubles, too. So I ask for you prayers – if you happen to think about it. For me, the people who help and care about me, my babies, and my co-workers. I have never missed a day of work for this stuff – I don’t plan to now.

So guys, there ya have it. And thanks for all the love and support on the upcoming Podcast! WE ARE SO EXCITED! Anyway, Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

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So, I’m good. I got more than a few emails, asking if I was okay because I hadn’t posted. I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN’T POSTED ANYTHING! I am here. And I am good. To be honest, after my last post, I sat back and enjoyed the break. It was super cool the way Christmas and New Year’s fell, so I had some extra long weekends. And I took advantage of that!

My Christmas was fun! We opened presents super early in the morning – and I don’t know if I was more excited or the kids! LOL! But it seemed that everyone had a great time and was super grateful. The gratitude makes my heart swell with pride in my kiddos. I got a treadmill for Christmas – and I was so surprised and excited! I love to walk/run – but I don’t like going alone at night – and I leave too early to go out in the mornings. I have become totally addicted to this thing.

For New Years? Well, ya girl went to sleep. I woke up at 11:57 – Kissed in the New Year – 12:02 – back to sleep. Exciting, I know. New Year’s I took down all the Christmas Decor – and basked in the cleanliness of my house. I love to decorate for Christmas – and I also love to take it down and get my home back to normal.

Since then, to be honest, I didn’t even think about posting. There has been so much crazy stuff going on! I am not getting political – that isn’t my vibe – we all know that it’s been a lot these past couple of weeks. I felt that anything that I posted or said, could be considered bad timing. So, I stayed quiet. That being said, I enjoyed my weekends, and enjoyed my work. I had some super fun dates with my sweetie. OH! And I got my hair done again!! My hair is life right now. I wanted to do something fun again before it is summer – because fun colors come out so easily – so Michelle gave me my dream hair!

So, now you are caught up on me.

What have you guys been up to? I pray that you all are hanging in there, and that everyone is staying safe and healthy.

And if i can give you a piece of advice to close this up. Be kind to each other. Connect with your people. Send your friends an uplifting text. Kiss your significant other. Kiss them for real. Don’t take them for granted. Next time you see them – Just lay one em! Let them know how appreciative you are of them.

Remember, none of us are perfect. You know, how you feel like deep down you are a hot mess? Everyone else feels that way, too. At least at some point. So build each other up today, and everyday. But especially your kids and your s/o’s, make sure you don’t take them for granted. Make them feel special and loved. That has been the biggest game changer for me. I always feel like a priority – and therefore I want to make him a priority. And then, well – it becomes a beautiful cycle, rather than a vicious cycle.

I love you all! Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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Everyone is talking about how terrible this year was. And I will say, there were times my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest. Times where I couldn’t stop tears from flowing. And times where I felt like I was failing every time I turned around.

On the other hand, there has been some amazing things that have happened in 2020. AMAZING. So I decided that instead of discussing the negatives, I am going to write what I accomplished and learned in 2020, and maybe you can do the same.

  1. In 2020, I read (well listened to, thanks to Audible) 28 books. By doing this, I cut down my tv time a lot, and I learned a great deal!
  2. I have learned that I have to quiet myself, and recognize how magnificent it is to be alive. And be grateful in each individual moment. And when things happen, I know I can go back to the moment I am in, and I am surviving.
  3. I was blessed to be able to stay employed, and able to pay some bills off – and also my Jeep! It was such a great feeling to see that title!!
  4. I learned forgiveness. Forgiveness of myself, and forgiveness of others. Forgiveness is not condoning. Forgiveness is not ignoring the pain you inflicted on yourself or others. Forgiveness is freeing yourself and others, from that pain.
  5. I have learned to play. I have intentional playtime. Whether it’s a day at Disney, or walking through the neighborhood and laughing, I make intentional time to play with my kids and my guy.
  6. I am a very Type A personality. If you aren’t familiar, a type A personality is defined as “A personality which is characterized by a constant feeling of working against the clock and a strong sense of competitiveness. Individuals with a Type A personality generally experience a higher stress level, hate failure and find it difficult to stop working, even when they have achieved their goals.” Guilty. And I want to add to that, have a hard time asking for help. Well, this year – I allowed help from everyone. My kids, my guy, my co-workers. And as much as I love helping them, they were excited to be able to return the favor. I am not a person who needs someone to take care of me. Not the way I am wired. But it is so nice to be comfortable enough to allow someone to help carry the load at times.
  7. I changed my hairstyle. And I am letting it grow. Because I am ready to do so. (Don’t get it twisted, it won’t super long, just not a shaved mohawk.)
  8. I have successfully had a date each week since about June/July. Whether it was a walk around the neighborhood, or a trip to the beach for a day – we made each other a priority.
  9. I went back to school. Full-time. 4 classes. 12 credit hours. GPA? 4.0 – Not to toot my own horn, but “Beep! Beep!”
  10. I learned I love to decorate other people’s spaces – and do it as cheaply as possible. It is so exciting!
  11. I kept my kids alive. LOL! I mean honestly, especially with my little guy – that sometimes seems to be feat.
  12. I learned to vocalize gratitude. It’s good to tell others that you love them, appreciate them, and want to spend time with them.
  13. And then, my actual kids – not just my mad skills of keeping them alive. I am so proud of the people that have become. I am talking about them as people. I am proud of their souls. My oldest is comedic, always joking – and always wanting to make people feel included. Just like his momma, he can get heartbroken easily by folks, but he will try to laugh and act like he’s okay. He is kind, and will help anyone if they need it. Then my daughter. She is a little ball of fire. She is so sweet and kind, and really cares about everyone feeling included and loved, too. She prides herself on her customer service skills – and if I wrote about her and didn’t mention Publix – she might disown me as her mother. She loves her job at Publix, and she is such a hard little worker and talented artist. Then there’s Jacoby. He is forgiving, but he will fight somebody. He gets that from his momma. He is ready to fight – because he is fiercely loyal. And I admire his loyalty. He also speaks his truths. If he thinks you are wrong, he will politely disagree. And he has never met a stranger – this boy has personality for days. So what I am saying, it isn’t “stuff” that they have done, to make me proud. It is their character and personality that makes me proud to call them mine.

So, to me? Twenty/20 was good year. With a lot to be proud of. A lot to feel good about. Sure there was some bad moments, but here we are still breathing. Still here. And the worst moments? Well, they made us so much stronger.

That’s a wrap!

And if you made some mistakes this year? Well, never be a prisoner of your past – it was a lesson. Not a life sentence without parole. And if I wronged you in someway this year? I am sorry. Deeply sorry. And if you wronged me? It’s done, forgotten, and forgiven. I hope you have nothing but success and joy in your life (albeit, I hope we can both have happy lives and not run into me ever again, LOL! I forgive you, but I am not crazy nor a glutton for punishment). I’m Woke, Not Weak.

And if you wanna share this? Please do. It helps me out when a blog is shared. I hope you enjoyed it, It made you smile, and I can’t wait to see your list!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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…. that song, “All I want for Christmas is you…..” really grinds my gears.

I can’t stand that song. I believe that it is on repeat for some reason, here in Florida.

My face when I hear that song.

I love Christmas songs.. serenade me – I love it!! But that one-I could do without. I got my kids so trained, that if it comes on, they all rush to skip it. Do you really only want that guy Mariah? You don’t want a cute set of Pj’s? Maybe some heels? A new lip gloss? Shoot -World Peace? I appreciate the sentiment, but nah. I’m also not a Mariah Carey fan, so there’s that. I like to be able to sing along with my music.

That being said, I was wondering, What is your Favorite Christmas song? Or even better, Christmas Memory?

My favorite Christmas song is “Rejoice with Exceeding Great Joy”. The first time I heard this was at Disney’s Candlelight. If you go to minute 28:27 in the below video – that’s the song. And if that doesn’t you dancing, well then your dancer is broke and you need to reevaluate all your life choices. LOL! I’m kinda kidding.. but I do love it.

On a more traditional note, “O Holy Night.” That one gets me in my feels every time. Or, anything that Dolly Parton sings.

My best Christmas memory? That is one where we got my mom a bathrobe she had really wanted. And my daddy put it in a toolbox, which she also wanted. But when she opened it and saw the robe, she threw it! She was excited! It’s funny – we focus so much as kids on what we want. Now, as an adult – My favorite memory is what someone else got.

Edited to add: Although, I did get a pair of “button over pants” – that were life changing. And it snowed that Christmas Day – and I wore

Anyway, what’s your faves? Drop a song or a memory!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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I know. I know. It sounds rude, and pessimistic. Well, today I feel a little rude. I’m kidding. I don’t really feel rude, but I do feel anxious. So as I was talking this morning, I figured out why. Thanksgiving is coming. Three days away.

People love holidays. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Valentine’s Day. Those rack up a lot of points when I ask what is everyone’s favorite. And I love decorating for Christmas, and Valentine’s has adorable hearts – and Thanksgiving, well who doesn’t like to be with the ones they love the most, and have a great meal?!?

Let me roll call this for you in my perspective. Valentine’s Day this past year was good. And it was the first one and I am 43. I am not saying the rest were terrible and heart breaking. But this was the first one, that was good. It has been a day in the past where I hoped to feel special, but was let down. Where I tried to make others feel special, and they didn’t care. So, for years, I chose to just scoff at it and not acknowledge it. Lame, but survival mode kids.

Christmas. I still look forward to it. But often times, the desire to give my kids the best Christmas and make sure that they had all their little hearts desire, stressed me out. I felt like they were so good, and didn’t ask for much, I wanted to make their day magical, just like my parents did for me. So, it gave me so much anxiety, but it always worked out. But still, Christmas gives me some pangs of anxiousness.

Thanksgiving. We all want to be with those we love right? Enjoy a great meal? Sure we do! But this year, due to Covid, I won’t get to be with my mom and dad. Not to mention, when you are a split household, there is stuff that goes along with that too. So thanksgiving, isn’t traditional at all. To avoid anxiety? I order it. You heard me right. I order my thanksgiving meal from Publix. Don’t get me wrong, it’s delicious. The kids love it. But for years, It was me and the kids for thanksgiving. That’s a lot of work for 4, especially when the kids are picky. And not to mention, when you are dating someone that has a child also, you have to take their traditions into considerations, their timescales – so guess what – Thanksgiving day might be Cinco De Mayo – you gotta be flexible, even when you want to be selfish.

Maybe it’s one of the reasons I love Halloween. Halloween is just fun. You can celebrate with kids, or without. You can do it with your friends. You can do it alone. Just sit outside with a big bowl of candy. Costumes and candy never let you down!

So right now, I am glad to know, that this time next week, thanksgiving will be done. And I am going to be honest, I don’t need thanksgiving to be thankful. What I need, is exactly what I had yesterday. Yesterday, I was cared for so well, and so sweetly, and for that – I am thankful.

Another pro tip – do something fun. Saturday, I felt frumpy. I hated my hair, and felt the blues – dreading the holiday, missing my parents, etc. So what did I do? I got my hair cut and colored. And I did a blueish -silverish color, that I love. I did something fun. It put a big smile on my face. And to be honest, my kids love it, my fella loves it – what more can you ask for. I love the fact, that my people love me enough, to love me how I am. And you know what feeling good makes you do? Eat better. Exercise more. Put on your make-up in ways that would make the best drag queens envious. Get out there and slay it.

“So, Listen up here’s the story… About a little guy that lived in a blue world..”

So, this Thanksgiving, if you dread it or feel sad, be glad that Friday isn’t Thanksgiving. If you are looking forward to it – cherish it and have a fantastic time! What I am saying, is make the best of each situation, but don’t beat yourself up, if you catch yourself in a struggle. Give yourself some grace, but in turn, give grace to those around you.

Is there a holiday that you love or hate? How do you cope?

Kids, make good choices. Have a great day. And most importantly…

Love Fully. Live Fully. And Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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Here we go. A break from all things political. I am going to write about something I have been asked about – a lot.

Disney.

I live in Orlando. I am a season passholder at Disney. And a lot of folks have asked me what it is like, after Covid. So I am here to tell ya. It is better than you could even imagine.

First, I loved Disney – but I hate crowds. That made my life and Disney love complex. But, my kids always performed in Disney’s Candlelight – so I had to have a season pass to see them perform each time. (Edited: A season pass isn’t required. But they have performed up to three times each before. Which would be six tickets – a season pass is cheaper. And I go all the time since I got it.)

So here you go, a play by play, of the parks after Covid. When you pull in – they scan your band – and off to park. The park you “ever other spot”. This is to ensure social distancing while you get out of your car. And might I just add, this is brilliant. You can get out and have room. Then, they reload the spaces in between, but you are already in the park. So. Stinking. Smart. DISNEY DON’T EVER CHANGE THIS PLEASE!

Next, you walk in and there are two white tents, and people with the scanning thermometers. Quick temp check, and off you go. And I haven’t had a temp, and have walked 100 plus yards in 90 degree heat. I was actually worried it would make me have a temp and I couldn’t get it – but that didn’t happen.

Then you walk through then metal detectors. Once through that, you walk up to the gate, and scan your band again. No fingerprints now. Just scanning the band. I am grateful for that too, because I could never remember which finger I scanned. We have yet to stand in line at the gate. Have literally walked through every step of the way.

Once inside – it is glorious. It’s different. But I like it. No one is on top of you. The waits for rides, are tiny. You can do more than two rides a day, if you choose. The only thing that I found hard, was finding a place to sit and eat or drink. And let me be clear, it isn’t that it was hard, we always found one, it just took a few minutes.

There are a few things that are closed, but none of it affected me, or my good time. I felt safe, it was clean, people were polite, and it was a great experience. The only thing that I think is weird. Is that they require that you leave your masks on with the Disney Photographer. You are over six feet away from them, so I don’t get that – but, go with the flow, right?

We got some amazing food though, some great pics, and the animals in the Animal Kingdom don’t know that there is a pandemic going on. We rode the Safari ride a few times, and saw something new and different each time!

We had amazing food. And amazing fun. Then, we decided to try Universal.

I love Harry Potter. Obviously. So let’s go.

I have been to Universal before. I loved it! This trip thought? It was terrible. You can’t make reservations, so you show up and hope. I wasn’t a fan of Disney having reservations, but it keeps the crowds down – and guarantees your admittance. We wanted to go into Islands of Adventures – but we never made it there. We got there early in the morning, and it was already at capacity. So we went to Universal Studios side.

I have absolutely zero idea how it wasn’t at capacity. I am not sure what their capacity is. And I mean, capacity Pre-Covid. I am not one who panics, etc. But being in there, no less during a pandemic – I was out. In less than an hour. We tried to get a soda. It took 15 minutes, and there was no wait. They guy didn’t know how to use the cash register. Another guy was fixing the soda machine, and then when we got it – it was gross. The employees were less than polite, there was zero spacing on rides, with the exception of two. People were literally standing on top of each other. We rode nothing. We only went into shops to get away from people, and got out free and clear. I only got a couple pics. Here ya go. And that’s from CityWalk. Not even Universal. And you know, if I didn’t take pics – It was seriously bad.

So, wanna go to a park? Disney is the way to go. It’s clean. Hand sanitizer every where. Not crowded. I actually enjoyed it more than Pre-Covid.

Universal? Stay home. Or maybe go during the day during the week? On both all trips, we went on the weekend – but maybe a weekday would be better. But I won’t be back to Universal on the weekend for awhile. We said we would try it one day, and I would take a weekday off – but I am still not excited about it.

To me? Disney won hands down – not even close. I pray that they can bring back some of their employees soon! They are doing so great!

Anyway – if you got any questions… Please ask them! And even if you aren’t comfortable going out much yet, Do some fun things. You deserve it. Get out and live whether it’s dancing in the rain with your sweetie in the backyard, or going to Disney for a day. Do what is comfortable for you – but have fun doing it!

And most importantly –

LOVE FULLY. LIVE FULLY. SHINE ON.

Sat Nam.

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Not original, I know.  But for me, 2020 has been that year.  The year to wake up.

Everyone keeps talking about how excited they are for 2020 to be over.  And to be honest, 2020 has been tough.  I agree.  Covid-19, politics, everything in the world got cancelled.  It has not only been annoying and scary – it has been inconvenient and stressful.  Along with a lot more adjectives I could throw in there.

I had plans.  I was going to New York. Chicago.  I was going to see Hamilton.  I also was gonna see Lizzo in concert.  I did none of those things.  

Here is what I did do.

I have had deep and heartfelt conversations. And have become a better person because of it. I have learned forgiveness. For myself and others.

I’ve hung out with the people most important to me. 

I realized that I work with a bunch of folks, who do what it takes to keep our company opened – even when there are companies shutting every time I turn around. I always loved my job, and the folks I worked for – I loved it more after this.

2020 has taught me a lot though.  A lot that I am acting on.  A lot that I am changing.  And a lot that I realize that I am doing just fine with.

There were things that I always wanted to do – but I was lazy.  Things I wanted to do and see around here.  In Orlando.  But, I always had a reason to put it off.  Not now.  No way. No how. 

I have been to Epcot.  Animal Kingdom. Orlando Eye.  I have went on amazing walks.  I have stayed in and watched movies – that I always said I wanted to see. And for transparency, I have watched even more that I didn’t want to see…LOL! But the company made it completely worth it.

 I have danced.  I have laughed. 

I have calmed down. 

I have realized that any problem can be solved through conversation.  I have realized that I love being with my people, and sometimes that can just be sitting together quietly.  Sometimes it’s a walk.

And to be honest, a lot of the stuff that I used to get angry over – just doesn’t matter. 

I am intentional with my time, where I hadn’t been before.  I enrolled in college (got straight A’s, btw).

Listen, there were parts of my life that weren’t working before.  I see that now, and I am fixing it.  I have thought about what I want my life to look like, and I am working to make it that way. 

Hang on, my friends.  74 days left in 2020.  What have you learned this year that’s positive?  That you are gonna carry into 2020?

Wanna see pics from 2020 lessons? Follow me on Instagram @kristiegreenberg

Love Fully.  Live Fully.  Shine On.

Sat Nam.