This is a blog I wrote on a different site back in 2013. A friend reminded me of this last week. I re-read this one, and it made me laugh. And I thought I’d share it again.

Ok, ok, I don’t have a personality disorder.  But hang with me, and you will get where I am going.  For all of those who are shoppers extraordinare, you are probably aware of the Nordstrom line that was at Target.  I wasn’t much into it, because it still seemed mega pricey to me – especially to be at Target, but there was a dress I was in love with.  It looked like something that Michelle Obama would wear.  And I don’t care what your politics are – that is a beautiful woman, who dresses amazing, and carries herself like a champ.  One of the few women that can make biceps look elegant in a sleeveless dress.  I just knew if I owned this dress, I would be the same.  Striking, elegant, commanding the attention of others, in a  demure way.  But, it was $99.99, and I didn’t think all those things should cost that much from Target. 

Well, my friend from work informed me that she purchased said dress last week for 50% off!!!! Now, that, I would consider.  So off to Target we go on our lunch break, so I too, can own a Michelle Obama dress.  What began to transpire is a horror story – something that shouldn’t happen to anyone.  Ever.  We walk in – and there it is – Not at the price point of $49.99 – but $29.99!!!!!! (Sorry Target, I know your Nordstrom stuff didn’t do great – but this excited me!)  So, I rummage through the dresses, find my size, and almost sprint to the dressing room.  I know I am going to look beautiful in this dress.  I have to.  The dress is so gorgeous!!!!  And then…… I put it on. 

Boy, was I wrong.  Let’s just say, it was cut in a way up front, that showed more than what it should have on my body type.  I’ll just say it – THERE WAS WAY TOO MUCH BOOB!  (One of those things when on a different shape it would look amazing – not knocking the dress – just me in the dress.) And it isn’t the type of dress where I could wear a tank top under it.  So, a touch sad, I start to take it off. And then tragedy befalls me.  The zipper will not budge.  It zips up to the bottom of your neck – and it wouldn’t budge an inch. At all.  I wrangle myself enough out of the dress to get it twisted around so the zipper is now in front, thinking that would get me a better hold on it.  Still will not budge.  I start to panic.  I am trapped half naked in what I once thought was an amazing dress.  Bet that stuff doesn’t happen to Michelle Obama.

Then I had an epiphany.  I pick up my cell phone and call my friend who came with me.  You can imagine that short conversation – and she comes to the dressing room.  What does she do?  Start cracking up.  I have to admit – it was probably quite a sight – me all red-faced and panic stricken, dress half down and backwards – frantically telling her to help me.  She tries, and guess what – ITS STUCK!!!!  When you see concern in your friends face, you know it’s time to worry.  We work and work, and she finally breaks me free.  It was intense.  I hug her and do a little dance of jubilation in the dressing room.  I have never gotten dressed so fast in my entire life.

Me. The dress. And Michelle.

I blog this to tell you this….  My lessons from the Dressing Room, if you will…

1.  I am not Michelle Obama.
2.  Don’t take stock in material things – you might think that they may make you feel one way – but, it reality it will be the exact opposite – and maybe much worse.
3.  Always take your cell phone into a dressing room. 
4.  Your true friends will always be there for you – no matter the situation – and never take that for granted.
5.  No matter how bad things seem, they can always be worse.  Always.  And people are always there to help you.  Let them help you – and don’t be afraid to ask.
6.  And did I say make sure you take your cell phone into a dressing room?
7.  Never underestimate the power of the secret service – I guarantee they wouldn’t have let her get trapped in that dress.

So here is what I am saying, no matter how bad your situation? People can help you if you take the initiative to help yourself.  And no matter how dire the situation seems?  There is an end to it – it will resolve itself.  It’s been a few days – and I am not in the dress.  I hope I made you laugh, and think – cause this was one a bit embarrassing – ehhh… shoot – It’s funny.

We have been deep for way too long on this blog, so lets lighten it up today! Often times, in here, and my everyday life, I get some pretty killer compliments. One being – my hair. Let’s start there.

First of all – my hair stylist is the best hair stylist in the whole entire world. So, as far as my fantastic hair goes, she gets all the glory. She is a true visionary, and when you are searching for a stylist – make sure that you aren’t going for price as much as skill. I say this, because she can tell me what will look horrible, and what will look great. She tells me what can be done, and what can’t be done. She gives me realistic expectations. That’s so important.

You wanna hear a misnomer that hear I everyday!? “I love your hair! I wish I could do that! There is no way I could do that!” Yes there is. I promise. You can. Now, you might be scared to do it. You might be afraid of what it looks like. You might use your hair as a security blanket. All those are good reasons not to do it. But – I can’t? Yeah, that’s not a reason. In my opinion, you only live once. And I read somewhere, that people on their deathbeds only regret the things that they never tried. Not the things they tried and failed. So, dye your hair pink. Cut it off. Grow it out. Do you.

Now let’s talk about clothes. And here is the best piece of advice that I can give you where it comes to fashion. Pinterest. Now, I have public pinterest boards and private pinterest boards. My true fashion ones, are private. And here is my methodology. I will type in some of my fashion Icons. Here are some of mine – Pink, Marilyn Monroe, all of Michael Costello’s work, Kate Middleton, Grace Kelly, Michelle Obama, and Blake Lively. I look at images of them. Then, I pin them. And here is why – I will take an outfit that I see of theirs, and do my own version. With things in my closet already. You can get so much inspiration from looking at the way these folks dress, and add your own spin. I mean, c’mon. They have stylists dressing them all the time. That they pay a lot of money for. I get color ideas, pattern mixes, that I wouldn’t have thought of.

Lastly, and the most important to me. Confidence. You wanna look good? Then feel good. I rarely leave the house if I don’t feel good about my appearance. I want you to think about the day that you looked the most beautiful or the most handsome. Where you felt the best about yourself. Now pick five more. What was the commonality? Here is a commonality of mine.

In everyone, I had my hair great – my makeup fantastic, and heels. So, I can’t wear heels everyday – I work in a bodyshop. But, every chance I get, I throw on a cute pair of stilettos – you better believe I do it. Also, I ain’t rich. But I budget for my hair and makeup. It’s much more important to me to have my hair and makeup – than it is to go out to eat. Notice, none of those things had to do with my weight, because that fluctuates. But when my hair, makeup, and heels are on – I feel like I can take on the world.

So, what are the things that make you feel the most confident? Can you mimic those often? If you can’t , what could you do so you can? Like, we all know that confidence comes from within, of course. But let’s not lie, we all feel better when we look better.

Let’s own our everyday runway’s stronger than Lady Gaga. Below are some of my faves from the past 6 years.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

You know you want to.

Strip down. Right down to your birthday suit. And cruise down mainstreet.

Probably not. Maybe a couple of you do – and if so – more power to you. I think we will all agree, that we currently live in a society – where acceptance is demanded. Every where we look. Love yourself. Love your body. Be comfortable in the skin that you are in. We have went from a time where all females felt like you were supposed to look like a Victoria’s Secret Runway Model, to now – we are told to love ourselves no matter what.

Don’t get me wrong – this is fantastic. Our bodies are freaking amazing. And of course, you want to love and cherish and be comfortable with your own body. Now, I am of the belief that you should dress how you want, cut your hair how you want, wear your makeup how you want – all to make you feel the best version of you. But let me tell you what I have dealt with on my end. And frankly, it needs to stop. If you preach acceptance, believe in acceptance, then do just that. Accept it. I am going to tell you a little bit about myself now, and my beliefs – in the clothing genre.

I am 41 years old. I am 5’9″. I weigh between 135-145, depending on the season. My clothing size is a 4-6. I have a bleach blonde mohawk. I have quite a few tattoos. I have my ears pierced four times on one side – three on the other. And I love it all. I also, am one of the most modest dressers you will ever meet. I don’t wear shorts. I don’t wear skirts more than an inch or so above the knee unless I have leggings on. I don’t wear spaghetti strap tops. And, to top it off, my bathing suit often has more fabric and layers than a burka. But aren’t we supposed to accept each other as sisters, and raise each other up?

When someone, normally a female, starts talking to me about clothes, and showing me bathing suits and things, and I talk about how pretty it would be for someone – More often than not, I get a negative response. To me, it’s negative. To me, it’s an opinion that I didn’t ask for. And then, it normally starts a long explanation as to why. But aren’t we supposed to accept each other as sisters, and raise each other up?

Here is the responses that I have gotten:

  • Girl, it’s your body – wear what you want to!?
  • That’s weird. Why would you wear a bathing suit that looks like that? I know you aren’t the religion of 19 kids and counting?
  • You have a fantastic body – you should show it off!
  • Kristie, you aren’t heavy anymore, you don’t have to dress like that.
  • It’s not the 1800’s – we can wear what we want!

Yeah, I’m not joking. I get people trying to “peer pressure” me into dressing more scandalous. Now let me explain something, I dress the way I want to because I am comfortable that way. I know what my body looks like. I love the way my body looks. Naked and in clothes. Guess what? I also like to be comfortable. I wear form fitted clothes all the time. I think, I am quite stylish, thank you very much. I also, like keeping my lady bits covered because I am comfortable that way. But aren’t we supposed to accept each other as sisters, and raise each other up?

Here are my responses:

  • Girl, it’s your body – wear what you want to!? I am wearing what I want to. This is how I am comfortable. I don’t like shorts. It’s rare I find pants that I like. I’m long waisted. Thick thighed. The effort to find shorts, I’m good. I’m tall. I don’t like showing a lot of skin. But if you like it – go off, sis!
  • That’s weird. Why would you wear a bathing suit that looks like that? I know you aren’t the same religion as the “19 kids and Counting” are you? No, I am not. You are correct. I wear a bathing suit like that because I am comfortable. I live in Florida – and I need to be comfortable. If I am at home with my family in a pool – Sure, I’d wear a bikini. No issue. But at Cocoa Beach? Burka style it is. I believe, I carry myself the most confidently, when I am covered. I sit easier. I am not worried about a boob popping out. Mortifying my three children if it did. I just feel better that way. If you want to wear a string bikini that’s a thong – go off. It’s not for me, though.
  • You have a fantastic body – you should show it off! Thank you! It has served me well. I feel like I do show it off in a confident and classy way that is comfortable for me. I am sorry – but pulling on a top to keep your boobs in, or tugging on a skirt to keep it down, is not cute.
  • Kristie, you aren’t heavy anymore, you don’t have to dress like that. First of all Tammy, I dressed great when I was bigger, too. Actually, I didn’t. But I could when I wanted to. I also got thinner and didn’t dress great. It’s been a process to get where I am. But because I am thinner – doesn’t mean I have to dress with a lot of skin showing, just like because someone is curvier, doesn’t mean that they can’t wear a bikini! It’s our personal choice. Personal. Choice. Which means we pick it. Personally.
  • It’s not the 1800’s – we can wear what we want! I know. I am doing exactly that.

I am pretty sure, that guys don’t sit around and say – “Dude, show more tummy and thighs!” or “Don’t wear that T-shirt at the beach with your swim trunks!” I mean, really. I dress the way I do for myself. I don’t cover up because I have a bad body image. I don’t keep everything covered because I feel like it’s against my religion to do so. I feel like, with the way I dress, I am respecting myself, my future husband, and everyone in between. I am comfortable that way. I haven’t always been this way. I definitely don’t believe that everyone should have this mindset. I believe that you should do what makes you feel comfortable. And let everyone else do the same.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On. Sat nam.

That sounded quite philosophical in it’s own right didn’t it?  The decay of the nation… our horrible society… blah blah blah.  But what I am really writing about – is me.  My face.  Who I am.  A lot of you guys have known me for years.  Some of you – recently.  Some of you – have never met me.  But let me give you a little background.

Fifteen years ago – I was a completely different person.  I didn’t wear makeup.  I didn’t have a “hair style” per se.  I was overweight.  And frankly,  I felt like I didn’t deserve any better.  Now – that being said, I wasn’t some depressed, emo, sad sack type of person.  I was kinda factual.  I had become overweight – so there was no point in buying flattering clothes – because I thought I would never look good in them anyway.  I didn’t wear makeup – same reason.  Hair – same reason.  I was just super duper plain.

Fast forward a few years – I met a girl who become my best friend ever.  She kinda had an intervention with me.  She told me to get my own sweats – and quit wearing my husbands.  She took me out and got me first “cutesy” sweatsuit.  And I say sweatsuit, because there was no way I would wear anything but that.  And guess what?  I had a shape – some might call “hourglass”.  It might have been a yearly hourglass – but hourglass, nonetheless.

Fast forward again.  I lost the weight.  Started getting into clothes.  Was much more confident.  I began working out.  I was more active.  I had great people in my life.  I was happy.  And then… we all know what happened.  I went to bed blissfully happy.  I woke up in a nightmare that I thought would never end.

There was a lot of self reflection that happened over that next year.  First,  I really embraced the aspect of “you only live once.”  I don’t mean that in a reckless way – I mean it in a – seize the day, type of way.   I always loved edgy clothes, hair, makeup, all of it.  Whether I looked like it or not – I always got Cosmo – was intrigued by fashion shows… I loved it – but was embarrassed to love it because I felt like people would think… “Ummmm…. really?  She doesn’t look like it… ”  And, in turn – I would be made fun of.

Guess what?  Make fun of me.   Don’t like my clothes?  I do.  Don’t like my makeup?  I do.  Don’t like my accent?  I do.  Don’t like my tattoos? I do.  Don’t like my Jeep? Then we can’t talk.  I kid.  But, you get what I’m saying.

I feel like through my outward appearance:
1.  I am showing my resilience… because I have a lot of it.  I am a fighter.  I believe life can never defeat me – unless I allow it.  No outcome of any situation will control me.  I am tough.
2.  I am happy.  Not to sound like Pharrell… But I really am.  I mean, my life is far from perfect.  But I am really, and truly deep down happy.

I want my outside to match the insides…And I do that through makeup and clothes.  It’s my thing.  I don’t see any problems with my face without it.  I just like it.  It’s like creating a painting – on yourself. 🙂

So — here’s a video of the whole process…. Sped up.  If you have any questions… Let me know.   Hope you enjoy – And get a little more of who I am !