The day I realized I am not Michelle Obama…

This is a blog I wrote on a different site back in 2013. A friend reminded me of this last week. I re-read this one, and it made me laugh. And I thought I’d share it again.

Ok, ok, I don’t have a personality disorder.  But hang with me, and you will get where I am going.  For all of those who are shoppers extraordinare, you are probably aware of the Nordstrom line that was at Target.  I wasn’t much into it, because it still seemed mega pricey to me – especially to be at Target, but there was a dress I was in love with.  It looked like something that Michelle Obama would wear.  And I don’t care what your politics are – that is a beautiful woman, who dresses amazing, and carries herself like a champ.  One of the few women that can make biceps look elegant in a sleeveless dress.  I just knew if I owned this dress, I would be the same.  Striking, elegant, commanding the attention of others, in a  demure way.  But, it was $99.99, and I didn’t think all those things should cost that much from Target. 

Well, my friend from work informed me that she purchased said dress last week for 50% off!!!! Now, that, I would consider.  So off to Target we go on our lunch break, so I too, can own a Michelle Obama dress.  What began to transpire is a horror story – something that shouldn’t happen to anyone.  Ever.  We walk in – and there it is – Not at the price point of $49.99 – but $29.99!!!!!! (Sorry Target, I know your Nordstrom stuff didn’t do great – but this excited me!)  So, I rummage through the dresses, find my size, and almost sprint to the dressing room.  I know I am going to look beautiful in this dress.  I have to.  The dress is so gorgeous!!!!  And then…… I put it on. 

Boy, was I wrong.  Let’s just say, it was cut in a way up front, that showed more than what it should have on my body type.  I’ll just say it – THERE WAS WAY TOO MUCH BOOB!  (One of those things when on a different shape it would look amazing – not knocking the dress – just me in the dress.) And it isn’t the type of dress where I could wear a tank top under it.  So, a touch sad, I start to take it off. And then tragedy befalls me.  The zipper will not budge.  It zips up to the bottom of your neck – and it wouldn’t budge an inch. At all.  I wrangle myself enough out of the dress to get it twisted around so the zipper is now in front, thinking that would get me a better hold on it.  Still will not budge.  I start to panic.  I am trapped half naked in what I once thought was an amazing dress.  Bet that stuff doesn’t happen to Michelle Obama.

Then I had an epiphany.  I pick up my cell phone and call my friend who came with me.  You can imagine that short conversation – and she comes to the dressing room.  What does she do?  Start cracking up.  I have to admit – it was probably quite a sight – me all red-faced and panic stricken, dress half down and backwards – frantically telling her to help me.  She tries, and guess what – ITS STUCK!!!!  When you see concern in your friends face, you know it’s time to worry.  We work and work, and she finally breaks me free.  It was intense.  I hug her and do a little dance of jubilation in the dressing room.  I have never gotten dressed so fast in my entire life.

Me. The dress. And Michelle.

I blog this to tell you this….  My lessons from the Dressing Room, if you will…

1.  I am not Michelle Obama.
2.  Don’t take stock in material things – you might think that they may make you feel one way – but, it reality it will be the exact opposite – and maybe much worse.
3.  Always take your cell phone into a dressing room. 
4.  Your true friends will always be there for you – no matter the situation – and never take that for granted.
5.  No matter how bad things seem, they can always be worse.  Always.  And people are always there to help you.  Let them help you – and don’t be afraid to ask.
6.  And did I say make sure you take your cell phone into a dressing room?
7.  Never underestimate the power of the secret service – I guarantee they wouldn’t have let her get trapped in that dress.

So here is what I am saying, no matter how bad your situation? People can help you if you take the initiative to help yourself.  And no matter how dire the situation seems?  There is an end to it – it will resolve itself.  It’s been a few days – and I am not in the dress.  I hope I made you laugh, and think – cause this was one a bit embarrassing – ehhh… shoot – It’s funny.

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