I was called “Man-ish”. It was meant to be insulting. And hurt my feelings. And guess who said it – Another woman.

I was a little shocked by that. I mean, the person who said it has some serious issues, so consider the source, right? But – nonetheless, this is what she thought would be hurtful to me. First, let’s get one thing straight. Can we – as humans – stop with the name calling. It is ridiculous. Luckily, I have amazing people in my life, who build me up everyday. So, her backhanded comment didn’t affect me negatively, it actually made me think. It made me wonder, why would ‘man-ish’ be considered an insult?

If you have seen me, of all the things I am not, is man-ish, in the derogatory way she meant it. I am a girly girl. I wear all the makeup, I love dresses, pink is my favorite color, and lace is a must in my life. That being said, I am a manager of a bodyshop. I love to do wood working. I am a mom of three kiddos, who support them. I also sew, crochet, and am teaching myself to weave. I love my jeep, and doing modifications. I love facials, and spa days. I have short hair and a routine to get it this color that only one woman on the planet can create. (Plug for Michelle definitely inserted here).

So what was meant by Man-ish? I am sure it was the few things in my life that are considered more of a typical “male” role. Which, I don’t even want to address just how problematic that level of thinking is. Problematic, archaic, and ridiculous. I was talking about this with a couple guys at work, and asked them their take. First, they all laughed at me being called “man-ish”.

But, I believe one of the guys nailed it on the head. He said to me, “It’s her anxiety, I bet. I find that the most female on female criticism actually stems from feeling inadequate in an area of life they admire about you. You are the head of the house. It’s only you. You are the breadwinner. The provider for your family. You have given them a great life. Your kids love and adore you. You are involved. You give them freedom to live. She probably wishes she was half that. “

Maybe that’s true, I like to think so, anyway. But my main point is this. Before you hurl insults at someone, make sure it’s them that’s the issue. I am so lucky that my confidence game is strong. I am happy. Completely happy. I love my job. I love my co-workers. I love being a mom. I love my crazy busy life. I love my relationships. Ask anyone who knows me, the last 6 -7 months of my life, have been the best I ever had.

I had some real conversations with those I love. We are a focused team. Same goes at work. Things are clicking. So, I am going to allow my “man-ish” self to be taken out to dinner. And I am going to allow my “man-ish” self, to have the door opened for me while we go. And when I get home? I might pour some concrete and make a super hip stool. (All those really happened, by the way. Literally exactly like that.. LOL! I can post a pic of the stool later.)

So, when you are named called, consider the source. But also, remember how wonderfully made you are. You are valued. You are needed. And pray for the ones who call names. Below. I’ll some pics of my “Man-ish” Self. Doing some “Man-ish” Things.

OH! One more thing, Stay Classy. Hot mess doesn’t look good on anyone.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

So, Frank and I were talking this morning at work. And of course, we are talking about the virus because everyone is. Anyway – He told me that one his daughters saw some remove their mask, lick their finger, to then thumb through their money.

So, I ask this question to bring some smiles, some venting, and maybe some clarity on something if folks don’t know. What is the most “Covidiot” thing you have seen? Mine was probably this past Saturday. It was the first time I had been in the grocery since all this. But, I needed to pick some things up. I get stressed in crowds – and especially now. It skeezes me out. Well, anyway – I am going down the chip aisle. And literally – 8 people follow us down the same aisle. Feeling your breath on my back is not the definition of 6 feet.

The other? A woman in the same store, advising her children, we don’t need to wear a mask. “I’ll breathe whatever air I want. People need to protect me! ” Ummmm. Not exactly how that works, but okay. So tell me something you have seen – that just had you shaking your head.

Love fully. Live fully. Shine on.

Sat nam.

Did you ever think, that maybe, all of this stuff going on – is a gift?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not denying the fact that there are people that are ill, dying, losing their livelihoods, jobs, and a million other things.  But for a moment.  A small moment.  Let’s just focus on you.

As an essential employee, here at my job, let me tell you what I have noticed.  Where my daily “routine” hasn’t been as interrupted as others.  I am noticing, that I am free from a few things.  The expectations of other people, and society as a whole, has somewhat lifted.  Sure – there is the homeschool situation.  But, my kids teachers and school district has done an amazing job, so that part – well, they are still doing it.  I am just landlord of the school… LOL!

I am noticing also, that I am free from a lot of the endless chatter that goes on in my mind.  You know what I am talking about.  Get this done.  Get that done.  Make quality time.  Do the laundry.  Read a book.  Make a skirt.  Mop.  Exercise.  Pray.  Do yoga.  Write a book.  Write a blog.  Make a doctor’s appointment. Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah. Blah.  Guess what?  I wrote down a psycho long list of all the crap that goes on in my head.  And I keep adding to it.  We have got the quality time down.  Killing that one.  Laundry? Never ends.  I’m listening to a book – because my readers gave some awesome titles.  I did mop the whole house.  And here is what I realized.  A lot of my “endless chatter” was busywork and procrastination.  If I was honest, It seemed like it was sooo much it was overwhelming.  When really – each task, took either seconds up to half an hour.  Nothing crazy.

Now.  Let’s get deep for a second.  We got the time, that’s for sure. 

Now, this is what else this has taught me.  I have been able to free myself from conversations that bleed me dry.  In every aspect of my relationships – I have gotten a lot more honest.  I have learned to say, “Hey, this sucks.  Here is how I feel about it.  Do you want to help?” Key to this though, is that it isn’t in a hostile way. It’s in a factual – let’s make this better type of way.  I am not entertaining, professionally or personally, soul sucking fear and negativity. But what is awesome? I almost see a societal shift.  While at work, it seems everyone is more patient and caring.  Almost like an “essential” team, leaning on each other, to get through this hard time.  And to show up each day, and see these guys – It does give a huge “WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER” type of feeling. 

Next up – Hyper-Achievement and Low Self-Esteem.  That’s me.  I thrive for success.  In all I do.  Going on a diet?  Let’s compete – I’ll lose the most.  Going to write a book?  Let’s do it.  All in.  I have self esteem issues in so many ways it’s ridiculous.  And here is the thing; I will go all in-for a while anyway.  And then – screeching halt.  I am fully capable of completing every dream I have. I am educated.  I am tech-savvy.  I’m not bashful.  So why haven’t I?  You ready? 

BECAUSE I WANT/WANTED EXTERNAL VALIDATION.

Kristie Greenberg, for some unbeknownst reason to me, wants people to praise her.  Yes, I am ashamed to admit it.  Yes, I hate that.  Yes, I hold on to it. Yes, it’s freaking true. Ugh.

And you know what this pandemic has taught me?  What are you if no one is around to validate you?  What are you – when it’s just you and your kids?  What are you, when you are sitting in your closet floor all alone? I’ve asked myself those questions. 

Well first, I admitted to myself that I am co-dependent. What is co-dependency you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you.  The feeling of not being complete without a romantic partner and/or – the feeling of not being complete without the approval of others.   In the past, I was co-dependent in romantic relationships.  I went from one, to the next, to the next, to the next – afraid to be alone. You can ask my parents!  In high school, I was never “single” for more than a month.  I put a lot of value, and my own self worth, in the power of being “with” someone.  I wanted to be part of team.  I wanted to be loved. And the idea of being alone – was paralyzing.  This carried on through adulthood.  (And if you have hopped relationships – and are happy now, I’m not saying leave!  LOL!  I’m just telling you my story – and making you aware of my past patterns. If you have found someone and can recognize that is how you were before, that doesn’t mean leave now to show you can be alone.)  I made peace with that aspect of my co-dependancy – until I realized, I still am co-dependent, just a different way.  We are going to call this my longest running addiction.  That’s right.  Addiction.  That’s what it is.

And here is what I have realized.  When it’s just me, sitting in front of a keyboard, writing down what I feel led to do, the words come out. They come out easy.  No research needed – just the research of my soul.   Just because it isn’t shared, or published, or commented, or liked – doesn’t mean, it didn’t affect the one person it was supposed to.  And maybe, just maybe – the one person it was supposed to affect -is the one who is writing it. 

If my goal, is to be authentic, change the world, and help people,  I have to be willing, to be one of the people that I help. Let me say that again, in case it didn’t resonate the first time.  Kristie has to allow Kristie to help Kristie, so Kristie can help other people.  If Kristie doesn’t live authentically – Kristie isn’t good for anyone else.  Not her kids, friends, family, not any one.  If Kristie doesn’t help Kristie – She loses the possibility to make a lasting impact on others.

 My hope for you is this.  That is this time that is scary – you take some time and reflect on what might be the “good” in this whole thing.  Maybe this will be the transition time for you.  Maybe, your job that is no longer there– is the launch pad you need to make yourself a new future.  Maybe, the homeschooling thing – is time for you to find a new passion, or maybe let a dream die because you realize teaching isn’t your jam.  Maybe this has cost you everything – and you lost your home and income – and everything else.  Maybe, this is so you can gain everything and more. 

So I will end with this.  What made you click this link?  The photo?  The title? What was it? Or was it, just a self therapy session behind a keyboard.  Anyway, whatever the reason, I am clapping for myself today.  Because I am one step closer, to being the woman I want to be tomorrow.

Love Fully.  Live fully.  Shine On.

Sat Nam.

A few weeks back, on my personal facebook page, I posted the below :

You wanna know why that’s funny? Cause it’s true. This new year, I have been quieter. Well, this whole holiday season, (see the last blog). But I was still here, reading, and lurking… LOL! And I saw a little bit of everything from folks. From “New Year, Same me” to “Almost time for the gym to get busy” to “Make New Year’s Resolutions- but not about your body!” (I really saw that one, too!) And all of this made me think, about my own take on the new year.

I like it. Is it just another day? Sure. But is it a block of time? It is. I also like the beginning of a football game. I am a huge Baltimore Ravens fan, and there was nothing I used to like anymore, than Ray Lewis coming onto the field and doing his chicken dance. I loved it. And why? Because you knew that the game was about to start. Race on. It’s my starting line.

I am a Virgo. Competitive by nature. So it was no shock to my own self when I realized I was making baby goals in my mind. And some were big and some were small. Then I was thinking about how to achieve them, and then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks.

Last year was a tough year for me – mentally and physically. I realized in late September/early October, there is a difference in being a doormat and standing up for yourself. I am so lucky that I have some amazing people around me – who supported me – and talked me through this – and even encouraged me. Now, although I am not comfortable with it, I am trying to do it more often. It isn’t my nature, you understand – my nature is to be a people pleaser. So often times, I shut up and take it. Just not to make waves.

Sis, that’s just ridiculous. I have learned that you can stand up for yourself without being a raging lunatic. You can say “Stop.” You can say, “I am not going to allow you to speak/treat/talk to me that way.” You can create boundaries. And you can forgive the whole time you are doing it. I am realizing that disagreements, along with standing up for yourself, doesn’t mean the person hates you – or that you are killing a relationship. It just means, you are saying, this doesn’t work for me.

I am not a ‘wave-maker’ now, but I am heard. There’s a difference. I feel like, I have a right to be heard, as do you. And we should be able to express ourselves, exactly like that. I also believe, that if someone is doing something good, we should be supportive, right? As humans, all doing this life thing together, we should be nicer. I literally just said, we should be nicer. Why, oh why, aren’t we nicer!?!?

Well, and there was my answer. In 2020 – and from this point on – I am going to work on being more consciously grateful. Consciously Kind. And also, maintain respect for myself. And if I can do that? Well, I would dare bet – a lot can change, right? And notice, I said that I am going to “work on it.” I might not do it great, I might have days where I fail miserably. But what I do know is this – I can always do a little better than I did they day before.

I put this photo on here, because this was definitely – my favorite day this year.

So, join me on this gratitude journey. Try everyday, to think of a few things that you are thankful for. Big or Small. Then write it down. And here’s the key- don’t make it the same three or four things. Because then it becomes reciting, not feeling and thinking about it. And I am making my own rule here, My top two – will never make the list – and I say that because consider it unspoken. I am thankful for God and my faith, and for my kids.

So, I will start us off.

  • Love. I am grateful for love. Being loved. Loving others.
  • Modern Medicine and Alternative Medicine. When you have some of the health issues, I have had – you learn to appreciate both.
  • Having my best friend. A tell all. Another human to do life with – that gets you without judgement.
  • Coffee. I love coffee. I love the habit of it – the way it starts my day off.

So, big things, little things, and things in between. Tell me, what are you grateful for? Maybe, I am taking something for granted, that I need to appreciate a little more!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

I was asked that question the other day, and it caught me off guard. “How do I do what?” And this was her response – “Everything. You do everything. I feel like I deserve an award if I get up before 7. “

And I laughed and laughed. Because, to be honest – how do I do everything? I don’t. I don’t even do half the things. But then, I thought about it – and I am quite productive, when I choose to be. So, I decided to make a guide, to help you out. Or at least, give you some ideas!

Do I have it all together? Of course not. Somedays, I feel like I am hanging by a thread. But, for the most part, I do have some tricks and tips, to help you out, and make your life easier. And these things are great for single parents, kids, teenagers, or anyone who just wants a little more calmness in their life.

To-Do Lists

I make a to-do list every Sunday. Then, I make another one each day. It might be during my lunch break, it might be when I wake up. But, before I leave work for the day – There is one done. On my Sunday one, I have everything that will fill up one sheet of paper. It’s everything that is practical and impractical – for now. So consider it a wishlist/to-do list.

On my Sunday list, for this week, I’ll give you a few examples.

  • Check the PUBLIX Bogo’s for next week and the matchups.
  • Laundry
  • Write a minimum of two blogs.
  • Pack Lunches
  • Go Zip Lining in Costa Rica
  • Make sure Bella has all her stuff for retreat.
  • Update Schedule
  • Read Gabrielle Bernstein’s next book – (it’s not out yet)
  • Dr. Appointment on Thursday

And that’s a tiny little example. It’s a full page. Some things make me laugh, and some things have to get done. Now I picked the ones I did, for example purposes. Once you have it all written down. Fold it up and stick it in your planner. What? You don’t have one? Ok. Get a planner. My fave is the MEL ROBBINS 5 SECOND JOURNAL. It’s my favorite by far. If you decide to adapt my way of planning, it will be yours also.

Next step, GET UP THE NEXT MORNING WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT. DO NOT HIT SNOOZE. GET UP. GET UP. GET UP. And if you do that, you got time to make your daily to-do list. So, let’s pretend you didn’t hit snooze, you are up, and you are making your list. I break my list down into three groups. The first being – 1. The crap I have to do before I go to bed that cannot wait another day list. The second, is the Stuff I would like to get done today, but if I don’t the world won’t end – list. Third is the – Stuff I have to do everyday, but I am forgetful so I make a list, list.

When Mel Robbins took a pic of my card and letter, and put it on her Instagram. Yes, I fangirled. Big time. I love her stuff.

So, for today, I have three things that I have to do on list one. Don’t make a ton of stuff on that one. It will make your life overwhelming. But have discipline, to knock out some of the others, so everything doesn’t end up on list one. My three things are, 1.) Mail my package from poshmark. (If you sell on poshmark you get it, you want to get it out ASAP). 2.) Install lock on refrigerator at work. 3.)Work on Stuff for presentation. I will not go to bed until those are done.

On list two, I have 1.)Get Bella’s stuff she needs for retreat 2.)Write two blogs 3.)Work on adding clothes to my poshmark closet. 4.)Clean the downstairs bathroom. 5.)Write for 15 minutes. 6.) Research new recipes. And there’s a few others, but you get the idea.

ON list three, and don’t laugh – I have memory issues people. But here’s a few. 1. make bed 2. brush teeth 3. pack lunches. 4.start dishwasher if needed. 5. make sure all laundry is in basket. 6. water plants. 7. get the mail, with a few others.

Now, I get up early, so I go to bed around 9:30. I have an alarm set to review my list, at 8 pm. Then, I will have time if needed to get some things done I forgot. Now, If I don’t get all my list two items done, they might carry over on list two for a few days. But, on Thursday – If I don’t have Bella’s items for retreat done, it will hit list one. Because she goes on retreat on Friday.

This helps me plan and task my day. And I go to bed feeling productive, and wake up – not in overwhelm. That’s the way my lists work.

As not to overwhelm you on this, I will stop here for now. Next blog – Groceries and Dinner. And how I kill it. LOLOL!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.