Guys.  My guys.  My peeps. 

I have been so busy. 

So busy – In such a good way.

First, I have been super busy at work, and I am so grateful for that. I would much rather be busy than bored, because let’s be honest – the day pokes when you are slow.

Secondly, I had the bright idea to take four classes over the summer.  What Is wrong with me?  A lot apparently… LOL.  My oldest son told me it was a bad idea.  Did I listen?  Nope.  Was he right?  Yep.  But, I am over halfway done now, so I am super grateful for that.

Third, I went on vacation.  It was amazing.  It was needed.  And it was nice to get out of town, get on a plane, and feel some normalcy post-covid.

Lastly, been launching a podcast, nbd.  How we launched this, I don’t know.  How we figured out how to do it, again, I don’t know.  But did it we have – and I am literally floored at the success.  And I want to thank every single person who has taken the time to Rate, review, and subscribe.  We launched in on Shaun’s death anniversary – in honor of him.

If you want to find the link and know a little more, hop over to my Facebook (feel free to add me!), but my page is also public, so feel free to read the posts and find more information there.

I will still be over here, though. Don’t you worry.  I just wanted to give you a little update.  And guys – be safe this weekend.  Don’t drink and drive.  Have a great cookout.  And enjoy your friends and family.  I can’t wait to do the same!  Love you guys!

Welp.  It’s almost May.  2021. For some, 2020 was a terrible year.  Most, I’d say.  But for me? 2021 – that’s the one.  That’s the one that has tried me. 

  1. My parents live in Tennessee – both had Covid in Nov/Dec – and were still recovering this year.
  2. Hashimoto’s and SLE – have kicked my butt. Some days literally – some days figuratively.
  3. I watched a couple people that I adore, come under attack.  Brutally.
  4. My son, my little son, has had such a tough time.  From School, to home, to growing.  His teeth.  He’s been such a trooper.
  5. I have seen my kids experience heartbreak. 
  6. My Company was sold – and I was afraid I would lose my job.
  7. My son learned not all friends are really friends, and why I am kind to everyone – yet keep my circle small.
  8. I have been called names, made fun of, called ugly – all because I chose to do the right thing. By people that don’t even know me.
  9. I have seen my daughter shook to the core, by the above. Realizing that someone that she respected was a complete fraud.

But guess what guys!  Let’s flip that script – because I am over that!

  1. My parents are better, vaccinated, and doing well.
  2. My doctor is quite amazing, and it working with me to get myself and my meds all straight and get me feeling 100%.
  3. The two people I saw attacked, are thriving.  Literally.  Healed physically and mentally.
  4. My boy – he’s getting braces. Getting teeth pulled. And homeschooling.  I believe that he has found a good flow, and so have I, and he is doing much better. 
  5. My heartbroken babies? Back in the saddle and moving on – and realizing that there are other fish in the sea.
  6. Albeit my position switched, I feel more productive, and more utilized, than I ever.
  7. I want to find the upside to betrayal and lying- but I can’t.  Jacoby was crushed by this.  The only thing I can say about that is that it might can prep him for the future? I dunno, on that one. One day – I will right a full blog about that whole situation. 
  8. I’m proud of my integrity.  I am proud of who I am. I am proud for standing firm in what I believe.  And I am proud – that I am not a mean, catty, hateful girl. 
  9. It was a good lesson, albeit one that I wish no one needed – ever in life. And that just because people have alot of age on them, doesn’t mean they aren’t catty and gossipy. But hey – it is what it is.

And let me add… all this occurred, while attending college full-time.  OH?  What was my grades for the semester, you ask? 4.0.  What is my overall GPA? 4.0. OH!  And also all while prepping a new business venture.  But whatever, no big deal.

So, I work full-time.  Go to school full-time.  I’m a single mom of three. And I would not change a thing. I am proud of myself. I’m grateful for the closeness between my kids and myself over the past year or so. 

I finally went back to school to get a degree in something that I work in.  Not Geology- not dinosaurs – Business Leadership and Economics… LOL!  Not near as interesting as Dinosaurs, but a lot more useful . For years, I have pushed back the fear of going back as an adult, overcoming massive internal resistance, and choosing to take the leap despite feeling like I am  jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.

Starting this business is one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. It has dredged up all my deepest insecurities, triggers,and feelings I’d rather stuff down and ignore, and brought me face to face with the most fragile, vulnerable parts of me.

The fact that I have done either of these things are huge. Monumental, really. Just the fact that I chose to get up and say it is an accomplishment worth acknowledging and celebrating. A lot of folks don’t. They will do what they’ve always done and remain stuck in discontent, wishing they could know a life less limited.  Blaming their situation or others for ways they are unhappy.

But Me?  I’m trying. I’m taking a chance at being the woman I want to be, knowing full well there are no guarantees. And let me tell you – I see myself as a freaking Rockstar. I am not one to brag  – but I am gonna tell you – I’m proud of me. And there are no apologies for that. 

Bring it 2021.  We lets ride this wave out.

Love Fully. Live fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

And for those of you who have asked, I Love Yoga. It’s part of my daily life.  When I lived in VA – my license plate actually said, “Luv Yoga”.  Kundalini Yoga is one of my favorite forms –  and Sat Nam is a mantra often used. Like namaste in other styles of yoga, Sat Nam is used as both a closing salutation at the end of class and as a general greeting. In this context, Sat Nam acknowledges the true nature or the Divine within the person being greeted. So in a way, the best part of me, acknowledges the best part of you. Hope that helped!  (Gabrielle Bernstein has some amazing Kundalini Yoga videos on YouTube since we aren’t doing classes right now!)

Facts.

The End.

Just Kidding.

This week has been a roller coaster for me. A huge roller coaster. Shoot, who am I kidding. My life has been a huge roller coaster for the past month. Let’s recap, shall we? My son’s car literally somewhat explodes while he is driving it, in front of me. (Just the transmission, but when you are a mom, heart attack.) The company that I worked for, loved and adored, was bought out. My baby turned eleven. We announced the podcast.

And this morning, I snapped at my kids, and I sat in my car and cried for about ten minutes before I went into my job.

What’s wrong? It hurts to hold the steering wheel. To type is so difficult sometimes. I hardly slept at all last night. Sometimes I get so cold I feel like I am laying in the middle of a snowstorm. Then two hours later, I am pretty sure I am frying under a saguaro in the middle of the Arizona Desert. I have fallen in public because my feet hurt. I have crawled to the bathroom. I have turned on the water with my elbow to wash my hands because they feel locked up. So what’s wrong? I have Lupus. SLE Lupus (Systemic lupus erythematosus) and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.

So basically? My immune system attacks my own tissues. So, I kick my own butt. Get the title? Clever, I know.

I’m private. I don’t put my business on front street. But this morning, after my ten minute pity party, I decided to pull it together, and maybe I can help somebody with this. Just so they know they aren’t by themselves.

Some days, I have no idea how I am actually going to physcially walk down to the car. But somedays, I get on my treadmill and run three miles. Sometimes, I can’t even hold hands. Somedays, I can hold hands and play a game of mercy along with it. Somedays my skin itches so bad, I cry because it hurts to touch it, but it itches. So it’s like having a bad itch that you can’t scratch. Somedays, my skin is perfect without a flaw. Somedays, when I cry, my tears feel like acid running down my cheeks. Somedays are so amazing that I laugh until I cry, and I love that. Somedays I am afraid that this disease will kill me. Somedays, I feel like I can live forever.

What triggers me? Changes in my thyroid meds (which happened this week, go figure). Excitement, nervousness, fear. Near death experiences – and by that, I mean that feeling you get when a tractor trailer comes over three lanes and about side swipes you? Yeah, that has literally triggered a flare.

But, I’m lucky. I have such a great support system. My friends, my family, my kids, my sweetie – everyone. But what makes me even luckier is this – A couple weeks or so ago, when the whole merger was going through, I was alot worse than I am today. I was laying in my bed, and I finally fell asleep. When I woke up, my hand was being held, and I was being prayed for. Folks, that’s powerful. Tears running down his face, praying…

I laid there and watched him, cause he didn’t know I had awoken. And shoot, I wondered if I was about see something… LOL. But all I saw, was a person who was broken for another person. The next morning, my oldest son who rides to work with me, picked my hand up off the gear shift, and kissed it. And he said he hopes I feel better. I was alot better then, but he could look at my hands and see it.

I have been accused of having a perfect life. My life isn’t perfect by any means. My everyday is a struggle. But everyday, I choose my path. I can choose gratitude, or grievance. I can choose pain, or passion. I can choose fighting, or freedom. And not everyday I make the right choice. Somedays, I lay in my bed and cry. Somedays, I cry before I walk into work. Somedays, I wonder if I will ever make it the next day.

But somedays, aren’t most days. Most days, I choose wisely. I get up and do yoga. I eat healthy. I do my hair and makeup. I take my medicine like I should, gluten is a no-no, and I listen to others with inflammatory issues.

But more importantly, I choose to love like Jesus loves. I choose gratitude because I am so loved, so honored, and so blessed. I choose forgiveness, so I have the freedom to live a passion filled life. I choose grace, because so many people have real issues in their lives, and to honest, I have medical insurance, a great job, and so many people who love me. What more can someone want?

So this is my story. My truth. So yeah, I might not look sick today. My eyelashes are perfect, brows even better. But that doesn’t mean that just because people look great, that they don’t have troubles, too. So I ask for you prayers – if you happen to think about it. For me, the people who help and care about me, my babies, and my co-workers. I have never missed a day of work for this stuff – I don’t plan to now.

So guys, there ya have it. And thanks for all the love and support on the upcoming Podcast! WE ARE SO EXCITED! Anyway, Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

I am not fashion icon for sure, but I do feel quite kitchy in this felt J.Crew Hat. I got this hat on clearance last year and ended up paying like $2.00 for it. AND IT’S J.CREW! Anyway, a blog that just said, “overnight oats” didn’t seem too interesting to me, so I added some flair. It’s me. I’m the flair. And can i be honest a second? When I got up this morning, I totally did my make up big time – because I am unsure what is going on with my outfit. I have on a vest, a tshirt, a ball skirt, and flip flops.

Well, I’ve been super busy. Working full time, taking a full load of college classes, trying to have a personal life – so blogging hasn’t been at the top of my list. But making things as easy as possible and staying organized? That has definitely been at the top of my list. I am a crunchy, granola, type of chick, so I stumbled upon overnight oats in my pinterest search for a healthy and easy breakfast.

Guys.

This. Is. Life.

This is the mother load. The best thing ever. The easiest thing ever. And all my people like it. I am going to give you the recipe, and you can send me all the undying love that you have to give, because it’s just that good. Remember, I am gluten and dairy free, so if you want the gluten and dairy knock yourself out.

  • 1 cup of Silk Almond Milk Original Unsweetened
  • 1/2 cup of Siggi’s plant based Greek Yogurt Plain
  • 1 cup of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Oats
  • 1 tsp of Vanilla Extract
  • 1 tbsp of Honey
  • 1 tbsp of Chia Seeds

Dump in a mason jar, put the lid on it, and stick in the fridge overnight. Breakfast is ready in the morning when you are. Get your favorite toppings, put on top, and Viola! My faves are peanut butter and frozen blueberries, my guys favorite is peanut butter and fresh strawberries. You could do coconut, chocolate chips, trail mix, you name it.

Now, here another great idea with it. Put some local bee pollen in it. I tried to get my guy to drink bee pollen because he has wicked allergies and it helps, but he hated it. Put a tablespoon in there – and he can’t even taste it!

So, I hope you enjoy this as much as I do! If you have some favorite toppings, or a different way to make it, let me know. I am always up for fun recipes. And… stay tuned… I am going to have some fun DIY’s coming up, if I ever get a minute… LOL!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On. And girl, be brazen.

2020.

Twenty – twenty.

I don’t know which way makes a bigger statement. Well, whichever it is – read it that way. This year has been something else – to say the least. But what I want to talk about, is how I lost my happy place. Because I dare bet, if I feel this way, others do too. And sister (or brother), you aren’t alone.

I am talking about my home. Now, I am an essential worker, so during the pandemic – I went to work everyday. I am super grateful for that. I had my job, my paycheck, whole nine. So I didn’t lose my physical home, but I lost what was my place of peace. The place that I go to and relax. The place where I am happy to be. The place, where there is laughter, gratitude, and family. My home made me proud. It was private spot. Very few people have ever came to my home. I revere it. So if you have been in my home, you are special, LOL! But honestly, I wanted my kids to feel loved and protected in their home – and most importantly safe and happy.

My safe place turned into a bunker. An armory. A place to hide. While at home, I saw my kids plans fizzle out the window. A trip to Chicago – dashed. A trip to Austria – gone. Playing with their friends? Nope. Going out to dinner? Shut down. Home didn’t become a safe place of happiness – it became a bunker. Don’t get me wrong, if we are at war, an underground bunker is what we all want, right? I’d be jumping into that sucker before anyone. But during this – when you are starting to be afraid of the outside? That doesn’t seem too homey.

It started out fun, right? Like – no school. Or no “real school”. It was almost like summer started a little early. But then we got into it more. We couldn’t go to the parks. No family weekend fun exploring our city. We became four people – living under one roof – in our own rooms. My youngest two started bickering more and more. My youngest – was sad. He wanted to play with his friends. He wanted to go to school. He wanted to go.

We took for granted running into Starbucks and getting a coffee on Saturday morning. Even that seemed scary and diffiuclt. There were so many unknowns. Memorial Day – happened at home. Fourth of July – happened at home. Birthdays? Yep. You guessed it. Home. Home turned from a safe place to a makeshift jail cell.

Now? Home is school. Home isn’t home in our family’s sense. I want to speak to all the single parents out there, also. Especially the ones with little kids. I am sorry. I hear your struggle. I am praying for you. This is hard enough for me, and I have a support system. My job is amazing. My daughter who is doing virutal school also is 17, so she can help the 10 year old. I have cameras in my house so I can observe. My co -workers understand my plight. I cannot imagine. CANNOT IMAGINE. How scary it would be to have kids virtual learning – and really feeling as if you pick your kids or working. This is a decision that some parents are having to make.

On the flip side, I see a lot of parents being allowed to work from home. Creating learning stations in their homes – complete with laptops, markers, paper. Shoot, it looks like Chip and Joanna designed these learning stations! And these folks are relishing in the opportunity to spend more time at home. Time with their kids. And are ready to do this home school thing. And some of my friends who are seeing this as their new normal, that plan for this to be a lifestyle change – has said that they didn’t appreciate being home before. I think that is the issue for me, I did.

People like to talk about new and exciting things. Positive things. I am one of those people.

We like to talk about how something that was once bad, yes has turned into something beautiful.

We like to talk about the fear, the scariness, but how we have overcome. And now? We can speak positivity into our situation.

Not a smile. A smize.

We like to smile, and see the learning centers, and relish in the small successes in the pandemic.

While these are all amazing things, they can leave some of us, who are still struggling with the messy parts feeling like they’re “ungrateful” or “weak” or “a bad parent” because they can’t handle it as gracefully.

And I see you.

I see those who can’t see the bright-side still, even though they are trying so hard. Some folks came out of this situation better. Some came out a little bitter.

I see all the tears. The sobbing guilt as you leave your kids to fend for themselves because you have to work. The tears of your children who want to just play. I see the tears that you cry in your closet so no one else in your home sees them. I see the tears you cry – because you read the posts that say, “HOW ARE PARENTS SENDING THEIR KIDS TO SCHOOL! THEY ARE SO SELFISH!?” and “WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A KID WEAR A MASK! IF THEY NEED MASKS, THEY SHOULDN’T BE AT SCHOOL!”. I see you cry, because you only want what is best for your family. But every choice you make – you get disapproval from someone.

This is what home schooling has looked like. Crying. While I watch through a camera. Helpless. Not a cute desk. On the end of my bed. Messy as can be. Big Blue Button Crashing. Zoom Crashing. And we were both in tears.

I see the anger. The hair pulling. Teeth clenching. Sitting in your backyard just wanting to run away as far as you can. From everyone. No, not everyone. To a time machine. Forward or backwards. Either one. Because one more minute of this seems too much to bear.

The pandemic is ugly. The injustices are ugly. Getting through this psychotic time does not have to be beautifully poetic. It just doesn’t.

You are strong. You are resilient. You are still going. Don’t let Facebook, society, or anyone – make you feel ashamed or less than because you didn’t maneuver your way through this the way people think you should.

Love fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

I was called “Man-ish”. It was meant to be insulting. And hurt my feelings. And guess who said it – Another woman.

I was a little shocked by that. I mean, the person who said it has some serious issues, so consider the source, right? But – nonetheless, this is what she thought would be hurtful to me. First, let’s get one thing straight. Can we – as humans – stop with the name calling. It is ridiculous. Luckily, I have amazing people in my life, who build me up everyday. So, her backhanded comment didn’t affect me negatively, it actually made me think. It made me wonder, why would ‘man-ish’ be considered an insult?

If you have seen me, of all the things I am not, is man-ish, in the derogatory way she meant it. I am a girly girl. I wear all the makeup, I love dresses, pink is my favorite color, and lace is a must in my life. That being said, I am a manager of a bodyshop. I love to do wood working. I am a mom of three kiddos, who support them. I also sew, crochet, and am teaching myself to weave. I love my jeep, and doing modifications. I love facials, and spa days. I have short hair and a routine to get it this color that only one woman on the planet can create. (Plug for Michelle definitely inserted here).

So what was meant by Man-ish? I am sure it was the few things in my life that are considered more of a typical “male” role. Which, I don’t even want to address just how problematic that level of thinking is. Problematic, archaic, and ridiculous. I was talking about this with a couple guys at work, and asked them their take. First, they all laughed at me being called “man-ish”.

But, I believe one of the guys nailed it on the head. He said to me, “It’s her anxiety, I bet. I find that the most female on female criticism actually stems from feeling inadequate in an area of life they admire about you. You are the head of the house. It’s only you. You are the breadwinner. The provider for your family. You have given them a great life. Your kids love and adore you. You are involved. You give them freedom to live. She probably wishes she was half that. “

Maybe that’s true, I like to think so, anyway. But my main point is this. Before you hurl insults at someone, make sure it’s them that’s the issue. I am so lucky that my confidence game is strong. I am happy. Completely happy. I love my job. I love my co-workers. I love being a mom. I love my crazy busy life. I love my relationships. Ask anyone who knows me, the last 6 -7 months of my life, have been the best I ever had.

I had some real conversations with those I love. We are a focused team. Same goes at work. Things are clicking. So, I am going to allow my “man-ish” self to be taken out to dinner. And I am going to allow my “man-ish” self, to have the door opened for me while we go. And when I get home? I might pour some concrete and make a super hip stool. (All those really happened, by the way. Literally exactly like that.. LOL! I can post a pic of the stool later.)

So, when you are named called, consider the source. But also, remember how wonderfully made you are. You are valued. You are needed. And pray for the ones who call names. Below. I’ll some pics of my “Man-ish” Self. Doing some “Man-ish” Things.

OH! One more thing, Stay Classy. Hot mess doesn’t look good on anyone.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

I don’t know about you, and there is no judgement here, personally I don’t worry about Covid-19 much at all. I wash my hands, use hand sanitizer, don’t touch my face, and limit my contact with others as much as I can. But let’s be honest, whether you are Pro-Quarantine, Pro-Mask, Neutral, believe it’s too much, and want it all normal again – what’s the right thing? I am not talking about the mask debate, glove debate, or anything else. I am just saying, what is now polite?

I deal with customers, and at the beginning of March, my work facility became a “hand shake free zone”. I get it. Honestly, there’s times when I have had to shake someone’s hand and it was all i could do not to gag in their face for some reason or another. I am also from the south, and I never want to make anyone feel bad and use manners. NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS! Do I shake hands? Do I not? Do we just not do that anymore? If someone has a mask, should I put one on? How far away do you stand? I don’t know how to review documents from six feet. I also don’t want to disrespect someone with an actual nervousness by getting to close.

Here in Orange County, where I live the, Mayor enacted a mask order starting tomorrow. So I at least know that I have to wear a mask in the stores. So we are on an equal playing field. But what do we do past that? Shake hands? No?

I want to make sure that everyone I encounter is comfortable. At my job, or anywhere else. If wearing a mask is required, I am a rule follower that way. I hate masks – personally, they freak me out. I feel like I can’t breathe. I take it off a second, then I can breathe. Good to go for ten or so minutes. When I do that, I try to breathe in my shirt.

And can people please stop mask shaming!?!? It’s ridiculous. Let me address a few people here.

1. ANTI-MASKERS– I am an anti-masker. But I will not be a mask shamer. That’s those who choose to make their voices heard through social media by memes, secret photos of people, or completely negative comments about folks wearing masks. (And this is coming from a mask hater). STOP IT. JUST STOP IT. You don’t know what that person has went through, to start off with. If they are more comfortable wearing a mask, how in the world does it affect you? It doesn’t. It isn’t your face. Why are we so obsessed with being mean to other people? Maybe they believe the 180,000 articles and news stories that state that masks help prevent the disease – and really feel like they are protecting you – not just them. And if you think of people walking around – protecting you – it makes me admire those masked folks. And let’s be honest, you could be wearing shorts to short, with orange crocs – and they aren’t making fun of you… I kid. I kid. (sorta)

I can do these masks no problem – I wish SnapChat could make them work in real life!

2. PRO-MASKERS – I get it, this disease is scary. But because you wear a mask – doesn’t make you a better person than someone who doesn’t. Again, the passive aggressive memes, photos, etc. needs to stop. Because just like I said above, you don’t know why someone might not be wearing one. Maybe it’s a medical issue. Maybe they are claustrophobic. Maybe they believe the 180,000 articles that state that masks do nothing for the Corona Virus – and they need to get back to normal in their life, and a mask doesn’t feel normal. For me, an anti-masker – I literally feel like I can’t breathe. And I will be okay for 10-15 minutes. Then randomly – I can’t breathe well. Next up – almost a panic attack. That being said, Now that it is instated that I am required to wear one in public – I will. I will also not be going out as often, because it makes me uncomfortable. When they lift the mask order – I am sure there will be a lot of people who still wear masks. I will be one who chooses not to, if I don’t have to.

3. EVERYONE – I think our nation has been through it this year. 2020 is one for the books for sure. But what I say is such divide. Politics. On race. Gender. Sexuality. And now, masks? Can’t we all just get along. And of all the things to fight over – well, let’s just not fight.

So, what do you think? What’s the best way to be polite, respectful, and still warm and friendly. And how do you do it with acquaintances? Like a parent of one of my kids friends? I don’t really know them, but I don’t want to be rude.

This is hard. So what do you do? And what are you – anti mask or pro?

So – I really wanna know. Whatcha doing in this pandemic? To be honest – my life is somewhat the same. I am an essential employee, so I am still going to work – just shorter hours and less busy. On the weekends, I stay home. Which, to be honest, isn’t that out of the ordinary. I mean, my weekends normally consist of the craft store, grocery shopping, a choir concert, hair appointments, etc. But it’s not like I am some social butterfly, running about town.

What I have noticed is this. It’s weird to have to really think before you go to the grocery store. Or, to ask someone to go for you. It is really weird to stay inside. Not going for a walk downtown. Or running to 7-11 to get a Coke Zero with ice. Ohhhh… I miss a Coke Zero with ice. It’s weird, not seeing my best friend when I want to. And it’s also weird, that my hair is turning into a whole mess. These things I have taken for granted wayyyyy too much.

And maybe, in a weird way – this is a good thing. I do believe, that myself personally, will be forever changed. And anytime I am annoyed from a crowd – I’ll be grateful I can be in one. And when I dread my kids starting school, or get annoyed over homework – I’ll be grateful, that I am not the teacher. Glory in Heaven for that. I am not teacher material.

But, for real. What have you guys done? I have, and in no particular order – Binge watched Tiger King. Same with My 600-lb Life. I have sewn a ton of face masks. I made two skirts. I am working on making a bathing suit – we will see how that goes. I have went to church in my Living Room, and have had worship service in my bathroom. I have learned that I am a hard core dance queen, and my daughter’s Tik Tok account is proof of that. I have meditated. I have watched movies. I have done yoga. I have done my make-up – just because I want to be pretty at home. LOL!

You know what else I have done? Cried. I have cried because I miss my bestie. I have cried because my hair looks like crap. I have cried over not knowing if I should or should not venture out to the grocery stores. I have worried over finances. I have made lists of things I want to accomplish – then I took a nap. So, I guess my intro is a bunch of malarkey. My life is different, too.

So, whether you are creating, or crying. Laughing or grieving. All are okay and perfectly acceptable. But drop a comment or send me a message, and let me know how you are handling it. And give me some good ideas – because this could be longer rather than shorter.

Oh. And Carole Baskin totally did it.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

(And I won’t tell you to “Wash your Hands”, because you are grown and know to do that, and to say that is almost passive-aggressive, rudeness at this point. LOLOL! )

Sat Nam.

Well, well, well. Here I am. Eating Crow.

Ya know all that crap I wrote about getting my nails done? How I hate holding hands with people, but I am going to do it? Budget it? And make it happen?

Yes. I know. It is horrifying.

Well, that was a lie. Ya wanna know why? BECAUSE I AM NEVER GETTING MY NAILS DONE AGAIN! (That could be a lie, too – but it’s gonna take a minute. ) You want to know why? Pain. That’s why. Pain.

You know how they say beauty is painful or something like that? I don’t think they meant slamming your finger in a door and ripping the perfectly manicured nail off my long, bony fingers. And yes, I realize I made my hands sound like witch hands. Whatever, It’s Halloween. And MY FINGER LOOKS LIKE MY COSTUME!

I will say this, I had put off blogging some, because it was really hard to type with my nails. Maybe God was saying, “Kristie! Wake Up! Stop being vain, and do what you are supposed to do!” I wish it had been a little less vicious, not gonna lie. LOL.

So, I don’t often eat crow. But today, I bow my head, and say – “I’m gonna stick with my natural nails for the standard days – and get me some press-ons when I need a boost. Because. This was traumatizing.

Canuck the Crow gained fame for stealing a knife from an East Vancouver crime scene. (Facebook/thecrowandI)

And by eating crow, I don’t mean the super cool murder-y Canuck. I mean, the colloquial idiom, pure humiliation after being proven wrong – when you take a strong position. Yeah, I had to eat crow.

And for you viewing pleasure and add a little-lightheartedness to this – here is a pic of my favorite crow, Canuck. Canuck is a mischievous little crow, who according to the Audubon society:

Canuck, a hand-raised crow from Vancouver, Canada, that was caught making off with a knife from a crime scene in a McDonald’s parking lot earlier this year. The incident was a violent one: A man set fire to his own car and threatened the police with a knife. Shots were fired. Afterward, in swept Canuck, plucking the knife from the crime scene and even causing an officer to give chase. Eventually the bird dropped the weapon and avoided any criminal charges.  

Audubon Society

So there ya have it. I should stuck with my gut. If I had, maybe my finger wouldn’t look like Cancuck dropped his murder-y knife on it.

Live Fully. Live Fully.

Sat. Nam.

This statement was said to me. No kidding. And it was followed up with, “she wears the diamond studs – I wear the hooops). Now, what this young lady was trying to convey to me, was the reason that she was about to beat down another young lady. She was showing their differences to me. Bad example, but nonetheless, an effort was made. Anyway – I squashed the brawl from happening – no nails were broken, no earrings taken out. All was right in the world.

I have coffin nails now. I love them. The are pretty, soft pink, and I feel put together when my nails are done. I had stopped for a while, a long while, because it was expensive. But, I got a gift card for my birthday, and I am covered for a few months from that. After that, I have worked it into my budget by cutting out a few other things, because I like the way I feel put together.

I say that, to say this.

Get Ready. It’s gonna be a shocker.

I HATE TO GET MY NAILS DONE. I HATE IT. I ABHOR IT. IT’S THE WORST THING EVER.

I hate – SO MUCH – sitting across from someone who I don’t know, and casually hold hands. Let’s just talk about casually holding hands. I hold hands with a small number of people. My man, my kids, my parents, and yeah – that’s it. And let me explain it more.

I will hold my man’s hand, like in the car, being cute – for a few minutes. Or, I will let him hold my hand or guide me at the waist if we are in traffic and we are pedestrians. That’s it. My kids – I will hold their hands to get them through a crowd – traffic – and my little guy, a parking lot. But you wanna know what doesn’t happen? I don’t hold random people’s hands. I don’t.

Now, in this discussion that I have had numerous times, people have said – “A massage is weirder!” No, no it isn’t. One – we aren’t 15 inches from each other’ face – eyes open. Two, they are massaging your back, legs, whatever – I can’t get those parts myself. Not when you are getting your nails done.YOU ARE HOLDING A NAIL TECH’S HAND! AND HAVING A CONVERSATION! OR ATTEMPTING IT! OR NOT! WHAT IS THE PROTOCOL? WHAT IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SAYING? IT STRESSES ME OUT!

Pedicures? Less terrible. But I don’t love it. I can read a magazine. Until they bring out the scrapey thing. I HATE THAT! Also, if I say don’t use it, don’t use it. I don’t care if you think I need it. I don’t like it. Please don’t use it.

So you might say, “Kristie, why are you torturing yourself?” Well, vanity, I would guess. I like it when I look at my hands and the don’t look like withered hands of a much older woman. Broken Nails from digging inside cars with stains of different paints and enamels. When I look down and my fingers look pretty – I feel better. It’s vanity. Vanity for me. And I like the result. Just hate the process. Almost exactly like the gym.

Now, just to prove it isn’t normal to hold hands with adults that isn’t your tribe throughout your day, I’ve attached some pics. Enjoy – and yes. We all cracked up over this.