Tag: grateful

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This week. I got furious. You wanna know why? Because I made a blog that had a photo of Michelle Obama in it, and the hate mail began to pour in. I am not kidding. Now, ovbiously, if you read this blog, there was not a thing that was political about that post. I said I like her style of dressing. Which I do. She always looks classy. And she is also more my build, something I can relate to. And guess what? I think Melania Trump dresses beautifully, too. Don’t get mad at me – I like fashion.

But like for real, people made something not political – political. And guess what I don’t talk about? Politics. Until today. The only time I ever discuss politics is with my closest friends and family. One of my best friends, has polar opposite political beliefs. It doesn’t change my opinion of her, and I love her a ton. She respects my opinion, and I respect hers. Imagine that. In this climate of “Us Vs. Them” – two people with different political beliefs get along. And it isn’t just getting along – She is one of my best and closest friends.

TRY IT OUT PEOPLE.

When did our country become so childlike? On both sides? When did name calling become acceptable? It makes me absolutely sick. I have seen both sides, be so ridiculously ugly in their posts – it makes me wanna be sick. From Calling Obama and his family racial slurs – to making fun of Donald Trump’s little boy? When is it going to far!? Why can’t we just discuss the issue of our differences without childlike name calling? Why try to insight hate and anger?

Hillary Clinton is no supermodel, nor is Donald Trump. Why are we making fun of the way they look? They are politicians. Both ran to be president of the United States. And you are making fun of their appearance? How about discussing what you do and don’t believe and why?

Now, I was born and raised a Southern Baptist in Northeast Tennessee. I love Jesus and Sweet Tea. And I am now speaking to people who profess the Christian faith, as I do. I am talking directly to you. And I know a lot of you. I want you to picture yourself, sitting in front of Jesus. And him scrolling your Facebook page. Remember… If you are a christian, you have the knowledge that he loves every, single one of us. Would he want you mocking one of his kids? Making fun of a race or religion? Would you have shame for anything you posted if Christ himself was in front of you? Does your politics line up with your religious beliefs? Do you express it in a loving and Christian way? I bet some people are uncomfortable right now. And if you aren’t, you should be. Also, if you are a Christian, and you post a lot of political stuff – you could be alienating people from talking to you. What does that do to your testimony?

If you have gotten caught up in the frenzy of trash talking, hate mongering, and straight up consummation – you can stop. Tell your friends and family, that you are stopping. That doesn’t mean your beliefs change. That means the way you present your beliefs change. And I can promise you this – people will listen to you, when you can present yourself intelligently and they don’t feel attacked. Think about your political beliefs. Now, how do you feel when someone says that you are “A moron for thinking that way”, or “Left wing baby killers”, or “right wing baby prisons” ? You take offense. Your blood pressure raises. You feel attacked and insulted. Because if someone trashes your belief – it feels they are trashing part of you. Don’t take part in that. What a difference a conversation can make! It can really change everything!

And trust me when I say, I don’t care if you are democrat or republican. Be classy. Stop the name calling. And let’s try to make this nation stronger rather than ripping it apart at the seams. If you have strong political beliefs and want to share it, write it out and share it. Also remember, once you share something on Facebook – it never really goes away.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Sat Nam.

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Today is my son’s birthday. My oldest. My first. And today, he is no longer a teenager.

Wow. I don’t know how that happened.

It seems like just yesterday, he was playing in the floor, asking for a “Kit Kat Big Kat”. Loving on his momma. Always wanting to crawl up on my lap and watch Blues Clues. Backstory, I lived in Tucson, Arizona when he was born. And we didn’t really know anyone but a few military folks. It was just us. But it was all we needed.

Tariq and I went on a ton of adventures together when we lived in Arizona. We drove to Las Vegas, in a Toyota Echo. We went to San Diego. Although he was only two or three, there was something about him, that made me feel strong. Little did I know how much that would always be true.

We ended up moving to Northern Virginia, and lived there for about 10 years. In that time frame, he went through alot. But that kid never lost his smile. And he was always there for his momma.

When we moved to Florida, he morphed again. He got involved in the choir program. And this kid found his beautiful voice. High school was calm for us. There were no issues. You hear nightmare stories about kids in high school – I have yet to experience it. (I pray I never do.) Now, he is twenty. And I am shook.

You see, this kid wasn’t the football quarter back. He wasn’t the most popular boy in school. He didn’t make a 4.9 GPA and receive a full ride to college. He didn’t do any of that. Let me tell you what he did do.

When his stepdad died, he sat with me and held my hand. And since that day, he has helped raise his brother and sister. From helping with laundry, to fixing lunches, to checking homework (I cannot do this new-fangled math.) But now, it’s different.

Somebody Loves his brother!

Now, my little baby boy is a grown man. This twenty year old man has seen more in his twenty years that many have in a lifetime. His heart is huge. A few months back, maybe more, I was sick as a dog. Puking – whole nine. He sat in the floor with me. When I was having health issues and they were trying to figure out what was wrong, I would wake up at night and he would be laying in the floor beside me. That’s something we do as parents to our kids, I never thought about them doing to us. When I was sad, he would just hug me. Not say a word. Not pry (he knows better, LOL!) – just hug me.

I can come home, and no one is there. Why? He took his brother and sister out to dinner. I get a text, asking permission to take his little brother to the new Marvel movie. AND HE PAYS. This kid works full-time, and is putting himself through college. He is involved in an adult choir, and last year went to Ireland – this upcoming year, Austria. He is smart, hard-working, and loves his family. I might have given birth to this man, but more than once – he has given me life.

When people ask me how I stay so strong? I’ll tell ya. It’s him. He never let’s my crown slip. He treats my like a queen. I love you, Tariq.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat nam.

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I stress out over money. Big time. That’s a fact. I am single mom of three. From health insurance, to groceries, light bill, extra curricular activities, gas – well, I operate kissing the red line more often than not. And my closest friends – know this. And I decided to be vulnerable and share this – because I know I an not alone. (And wait until my book comes out – you can find out a WHOLE BIG BUNCH of my financial fears and worries – aren’t you excited!? LOL!)

First, and the most important thing for you to know – is you are not alone! A lot of people struggle with finances. And here’s some startling facts. To begin with, in a recent survey put out by Bizrate – the number one cause of stress in America? You got it. Money. And if you are anything like me, there is some comfort in knowing I am not alone.

Second reason? Almost 75% of people surveyed – didn’t have a three month emergency fund. Once again, I am in good company. LOL! Less than half of the respondents, would have the funds or access to funds (meaning credit cards, etc.) to cover a 1000 dollar emergency. This is probaby the reason why most people say that “unexpected expenses” are there biggest concerns.

Why am I randomly giving you facts? Because I want you to know that you aren’t alone. And just because you struggle financially – does not mean you are a loser. It doesn’t mean you are dumb. And it doesn’t mean you are irresponsible. You might have had moments of being irresponsible that made it worse – but you are a human.

Listen, I have made my own situation worse before – so I don’t mean that judgmentally. I am just saying – I get it. I, personally, have random times where I feel complete panic and think I might burst into tears – over finances. I wake up sometimes in a sweat and I am panicking. But you know what else I know? This is only temporary. I haven’t always struggled financially, and in a couple years, with God’s help and everyone’s prayers, I am sure I will be fine.

But isn’t it this middle that stinks? Brene Brown said, “The middle is messy, but that’s where the magic happens.” You want to know what I have learned about struggling in the middle? It teaches you to be grateful. It gives you goals. And it can keep you focused. I look forward to the day, where I can just go to the grocery store and get what I need without running a tally in my head. But for now, I am grateful that I am able to run a tally in my head, and can purchase groceries. Some people go hungry. I am grateful for every single thing I have been given. And I might have to hustle and work hard to make ends meet – But guess what guys. It’s worth it. I am learning so much. And if I hadn’t went through this – I wouldn’t have.

Check out those dolla billz in my glasses! (And yes… that photo has all the filters. No shame in my filter game when I took that. I had just spent 10 hours on a bus.)

Here is a thing that I have learned that helps me. When I panic, I talk it out. Sometimes it’s to God and my friends, sometimes it’s to God alone. But when I do, I realize it will be ok. I also do positive affirmations in my mind. I will just think, “You are on the right road to financial freedom. It’s just a curvy and bumpy one.” And what’s my idea of financial freedom? No bills but house bills/insurance/groceries. No medical bills, no car payments, no credit cards. It’s not 2.5 million dollars. Not mansions. Not fancy cars.

Another funny thing that has happened in my ‘middle’? I am the happiest I have been. I feel so loved. My pack is an amazing group who rally around me. Encourage me. And still say – you have to keep writing. Keep doing this. It’s important work. So yeah, I might sit up at night working on my book and writing blogs – but hey. I can sleep when I’m dead.

So here is what I am saying. I’m no Suze Orman, Dave Ramsey, or any other financial guru. I am not here to give financial advise. If you are in a tough financial season – you are not alone. I’m in the trenches too. I cry too. I get waves of panic that take my breath. I look at my kids sometimes, and feel so guilty because I can’t take them on a proper vacation. But here we are, all in this together. And hey- be grateful I’m in it with you, I make pretty good company! But on a serious note, WE can get through it. So hey – keep praying for me for and I will pray for you, too!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

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“If what I am experiencing is heartbreak, then grieving is inevitable.” – Brene’ Brown

Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of Shaun’s death. Should we even call it an anniversary? I mean, Webster’s defines an anniversary as this:

Definition of anniversary

1: the annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event

a wedding anniversary broadly: a date that follows such an event by a specified period of time measured in units other than years

the 6-month anniversary of the accident

2: the celebration of an anniversary

Webster’s Online Dictionary

So, I guess according to Webster’s ‘anniversary’ is the right term. Was yesterday hard? No. Not really. It was no harder or no better than any other day. I say this, because, every day, since the day of his death, he has been gone. Profound statement, right? The “anniversary” of the date, for me, means more to others than to me. I remember it all the time. The anniversary date – others remember. I have lived with the grief of his death for years.

Grief. What is it? It’s a lot of things to different people. Now, my grief is basically for my son. I have worked through my own over the years. I struggle with the fact though, that my son never got to know his father. I see that as a total tragedy. So to me, my definition of grief, is missing something that we never got to have. Missing the memories that will never get to be made. And this, this one thing – I can’t fix for him.

As a mom, we want to protect our kids and help them through the things life throws at them. This one thing, I can’t help. And I am not gonna lie, once I came to grips with the loss that I felt, I got angry. Rationally speaking, I know that Shaun couldn’t help it that he died. I know that. I was still angry, though. It has taken a lot of work, to forgive him. This is the best way I can describe it for those that haven’t lived it. Consider ‘your person’. Whether it be your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, adult child – pick one. Now, how would you feel, if they just up and left. No goodbye. No kisses. And you knew they up and left to live a millionaire lifestyle, where they could never get sick, never suffer, and could be eternally happy -and to do so, they had to leave like that. Do you want the best for your loved one? Yes. Would you feel resentful? Of course. Resentful that you are here, to pick up the pieces. Resentful over the plans that you had made together, and now they just dipped out. Resentful over having to be sad, while they are having a good time. I have been resentful over leaving me to tell a kid how it’s okay that his father is in heaven. Because, let’s be honest – it sucks for him.

Guess what I did, though? I forgave him. Forgiveness, that is the biggest way you can show love, right? I mean, I know I am so grateful for the folks who have forgiven me in my past, and I am grateful for the folks who will forgive me in the future. Forgiving, not only makes live better for you , it does for everyone. This is whether you are the forgiver or forgive-ee.

So, This is my “anniversary” post. I live Shaun’s death everyday. Not that it is always a conscious thing, but it is definitely something that impacted my whole life and makes me who I am today. Shaun was forgiven. So I forgave him, too. I am also doing a pretty good job raising his little boy, if I do say so myself. Although, I need to give credit where credit is due – I have had an army of people, rally around me. An army of people, held me up when I couldn’t stand alone. And today? It’s the same. Even in a new town – my support system, and those who love me are incredible. My children and I have been so blessed by those around us. I am forever grateful. I was looking for a pic to capture Shaun and Jacoby, I knew the one I wanted – but I guess that it is hidden in my archives somewhere. I ran across this one. And that is a true capture of him.

If you are struggling with Grief, talk to someone. Find a support system or group. And work on forgiveness. I say work on it – because it isn’t that simple.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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We have been deep for way too long on this blog, so lets lighten it up today! Often times, in here, and my everyday life, I get some pretty killer compliments. One being – my hair. Let’s start there.

First of all – my hair stylist is the best hair stylist in the whole entire world. So, as far as my fantastic hair goes, she gets all the glory. She is a true visionary, and when you are searching for a stylist – make sure that you aren’t going for price as much as skill. I say this, because she can tell me what will look horrible, and what will look great. She tells me what can be done, and what can’t be done. She gives me realistic expectations. That’s so important.

You wanna hear a misnomer that hear I everyday!? “I love your hair! I wish I could do that! There is no way I could do that!” Yes there is. I promise. You can. Now, you might be scared to do it. You might be afraid of what it looks like. You might use your hair as a security blanket. All those are good reasons not to do it. But – I can’t? Yeah, that’s not a reason. In my opinion, you only live once. And I read somewhere, that people on their deathbeds only regret the things that they never tried. Not the things they tried and failed. So, dye your hair pink. Cut it off. Grow it out. Do you.

Now let’s talk about clothes. And here is the best piece of advice that I can give you where it comes to fashion. Pinterest. Now, I have public pinterest boards and private pinterest boards. My true fashion ones, are private. And here is my methodology. I will type in some of my fashion Icons. Here are some of mine – Pink, Marilyn Monroe, all of Michael Costello’s work, Kate Middleton, Grace Kelly, Michelle Obama, and Blake Lively. I look at images of them. Then, I pin them. And here is why – I will take an outfit that I see of theirs, and do my own version. With things in my closet already. You can get so much inspiration from looking at the way these folks dress, and add your own spin. I mean, c’mon. They have stylists dressing them all the time. That they pay a lot of money for. I get color ideas, pattern mixes, that I wouldn’t have thought of.

Lastly, and the most important to me. Confidence. You wanna look good? Then feel good. I rarely leave the house if I don’t feel good about my appearance. I want you to think about the day that you looked the most beautiful or the most handsome. Where you felt the best about yourself. Now pick five more. What was the commonality? Here is a commonality of mine.

In everyone, I had my hair great – my makeup fantastic, and heels. So, I can’t wear heels everyday – I work in a bodyshop. But, every chance I get, I throw on a cute pair of stilettos – you better believe I do it. Also, I ain’t rich. But I budget for my hair and makeup. It’s much more important to me to have my hair and makeup – than it is to go out to eat. Notice, none of those things had to do with my weight, because that fluctuates. But when my hair, makeup, and heels are on – I feel like I can take on the world.

So, what are the things that make you feel the most confident? Can you mimic those often? If you can’t , what could you do so you can? Like, we all know that confidence comes from within, of course. But let’s not lie, we all feel better when we look better.

Let’s own our everyday runway’s stronger than Lady Gaga. Below are some of my faves from the past 6 years.

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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Yes. Those are lyrics from “Seasons of Love”. Which is from the musical, Rent. The reason I picked that title, is because ….. I AM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY RENTAL HOUSE! And by rental house, I mean the house that I am a tenant in. Not a property I own. Currently, in my life right now, I am renting. One day, I would love to be a home owner again. But right now – and to be honest, the next two years, I am going to be renting. And here is why I say this. My kids are what I live for. Completely. And it is so important to my daughter, to stay in her school district. She is a sophomore in high school, and I don’t blame her one bit – I wouldn’t want to switch schools then either. So, after research, looking at how the prices keep going up in my area, I decided to stay put. I re-signed the lease, with the resolve that this place I have been living in for the past two years, was now going to be my home for the next two, God willing.

And if you follow me on any social media – you know I just had some issues with my house. It flooded. And it was awful. And to be honest, it was still in some sort of disarray. I didn’t feel good when I walked into my house. I didn’t feel good when I drove up. I didn’t feel bad, per se. It just wasn’t the excitement of being “home”. So, I was talking to one of my friends, and he said – “You have never made that place – YOU. That’s what’s wrong. ” Well, I then informed him how I didn’t want to waste money on a rental, with paint and what not. I didn’t even know if I could paint or not. And all the reasons I couldn’t make it better. He looked at me and nodded, and said – “Sorry, but I was going to be somewhere for two years, I think I would spend my money on some stuff to make it a little more homey. I didn’t say knock down walls.” So, I thought about it and took his advice. I contacted my property managment company, and they said I could paint. They gave me exterior guides for the door (HOA Rules, not theirs) and advised that I can paint the inside, but if it’s beyond neutral they may request that I return it to the original color. Ok. Cool. So, I decided that I didn’t want to look back at pictures years down the road, and regret not making it more homey.

So, first thing – I decided to paint my front door. I wanted it to be happy, and cheery. I searched color after color, trying to find the perfect shade. I searched Pinterest, HGTV, DIY Network, home listings – and then I decided on a shade. Coral. It was perfect. Bright, cheery, and very, well – perfect. So off to Lowe’s I go! I picked the color called “Coral Reef”. Not knowing what in the world I needed, (like there are a zillion different types of paint) I ask the paint guy. He walked me through it, made his recommendations, and then we were mixing up a quart of ‘coral reef’! And I was super pumped. Two of my three kiddos were with me, and they both approved, too! We got some rollers, 3M painters tape, and some brushes, and we were off!

The next morning, we got up. We taped off the door. And two hours later…..

THE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I had to find an old picture for my before, because I didn’t think to take one. LOL!

Stop the applause… stop the applause. I know it’s amazing. LOL! But seriously, the difference it made in my soul, was that was the amazing thing. And then I realized, that I had some work to do. So, I do what any good OCD/obsessive/journaling/blogging/ person does. I get out my “The 5 Second Journal” – and I made my list. My list was of the things that really bothered me about my rental. Because my number one, was the front door – because I hated seeing it when I pulled up. Check. Fixed. Here’s the way the rest went.

  1. Front Door
  2. Flooring
  3. Downstairs bathroom/ My Bathroom
  4. Kitchen Window
  5. My steps. Disgusting.
  6. Kitchen table
  7. Disarray of dining room (still was off kilter from the flood)
  8. I needed towels.
  9. Not enough art in my house.

So, I got my list. I evaluated my list. And here is what I determined for each item. And being the obsessed, OCD type. Here we go. And what I added, was $$$. Because let’s be honest. That’ is going to affect it big time. First, how much can I afford, will it affect my deposit, how much will it take to reverse it, cost benefit analysis.

  1. Front Door – Done. $27.00-ish
  2. Flooring – Deal with it. $5,000,000.00 (might as well be.. LOL!)
  3. Downstairs bathroom (I’d spend $30.00, maybe. Paint? I dunno) My Bathroom ($50.00 – new shower curtain/rug/trash can/ rearrange)
  4. Kitchen window (I just need curtains. I can make them. And a tension rod. $15.00)
  5. Steps. The rental company never cleaned the carpet when I moved in two years ago. It was wreck honestly. I was able to clean well the upstairs carpet. The steps.. just never seemed pristine. So, I called Stanley Steemer. $80.00. Booked the appointment.
  6. Kitchen table. I bought the table I have now, last year. It is circular/metal/wood and totally modern. It looked so cool. Eat at a spinning table with a nine year old. -_- Bad purchasing decision on my part. ($300-$600)
  7. Disarray in dining room. Free.
  8. Towels. Not really an option. I mean, I am not gonna drown getting out of the shower, but I seriously need towels.
  9. I make art. For myself. I enjoy doing it. I enjoy looking at. Hang it up. Free.

So, Now that i have my list together. I can start tackling. Subscribe to my blog, to see the next revamping adventures I do – good ones and failures…. If you haven’t yet… Follow me on Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram for some more positive info, laughs, and maybe we can help each other! I’m grateful for you!

Namaste and Sat Nam! Xoxo..

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As a relatively new Floridian, I have only been through one hurricane.  And that was Hurricane Matthew.  And for those that are in Central Florida during Matthew, it didn’t seem much more different than a regular summer thunderstorm, it just lasted longer.  So, when the news started talking about Hurricane Irma, I wasn’t scared – I wasn’t nervous – I was just like… “I’m sure it’s not gonna be that bad…”

Well, first of all, I will openly admit when I am wrong.  I WAS WRONG!  I WAS SO WRONG!  COMPLETELY WRONG!  Now, people are gonna ask why I stayed.  Here’s why.  This is my home.  This is where I live and work.  I was never in an evacuation zone, had I been in one – I would have went.  But when I started getting nervous – and feeling like I might should leave, I couldn’t.  I mean, I could have – but that was scarier.  There was a gas shortage.  Traffic for days.  And the thought of getting stuck in a town, during a hurricane, not knowing where to go to – or getting stuck on the side of road stranded and unable to get gas – was much scarier than just staying put. 

And, I want to educate anyone who hasn’t been through something like this – because I didn’t know it until I lived it – but guys, a hurricane is expensive.  So all these people you see going through this – don’t just think about the damage to their homes, there I a lot of money that goes to prepping.  And prep properly.  If you board up your windows, figure about $20.00 per window.  You need 20 sandbags?  Add another $50 to $100.  Now, plan on a week without electricity, water, and having food to eat.  Prepping for a hurricane can cost up to $1000 or more.  Depending on the level of prep – and the size of the family. We aren’t even talking about the clean up, deductibles, time of work because your job is out of power – etc.  This can really, really hurt people’s lives, and knock them so far down on their feet they can’t get back up.  I was blessed in this aspect.  But I see it all around me everyday since.  And it’s so sad.

This hurricane was the absolute scariest thing I have ever been through.  When you have three kids all looking to you for assuredness that everything is gonna be okay, that’s a lot of pressure.  Especially when you are scared yourself, and have to act like you aren’t.  It was at it’s worst in my area from midnight to about 4:30 am.  That is a long time of wind screaming.  Trees bending sideways.  I was sure, that when I went upstairs, there wouldn’t be one.  Water coming in from the floorboards.  And pitch darkness.  It was worse than any horror movie I have ever been in.  And all the while, I had friends texting me – checking to make sure that I was okay. And I was doing the same back.

And then, the sun came up.  And destruction was everywhere.  Shingles littered the ground like French fries in a McDonald’s parking lot.  It resembled a war zone.  People out walking just stunned.  Neighbors I haven’t seen outside before are out and talking.  People are hugging, and asking if you need anything.  When the sun came up – the outpouring of love of my neighbors, my friends, and gratitude came with it.

We were without power for 3 days.  And that was awful.  But not near as awful as the people who still don’t have power.  I never realized how much I depend on electricity.  And here is an FYI also, no electricity – no cell phone towers – signal was blah.  Just trying to call someone was a nightmare.  Our houses are built to be energy efficient!  Which keeps the house warm in the cold months and cool in the warm months – IF YOU HAVE POWER.  If you don’t… your house becomes Satan’s playground.  Your home smells weird, from lack of air circulation.  Your dirty clothes pile up.  You can’t vacuum.  Inside starts looking like a war zone, too.  And then the day that you get glorious power back.  It’s a huge relief.  HUGE. 

So here is what I have learned.  I hate hurricanes.  I never want to ever go camping.  I love electricity.  But most importantly – I am so grateful that God had his hand on me and my family and friends – because he is the one who protected us.  I am so thankful for my amazing work family  and friends – who all texted me throughout the night, just checking on me.  I am so thankful for my friends who did the same.  For everyone who offered me a place to stay when we were powerless.  But I also learned I am a true Floridian.  I love this place.  I love the people.  I love my neighbors.  I am madly in love with the people I have met here.  I have also learned, if they ever call for a hurricane that size again, this girl is out.  But, I will come back – because Orlando is home.

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First, let me start by saying, I do have a day job.  And – as far as day jobs go – I am very thankful for my job – and the folks I work with.  My teammates are some of my closest friends.  My supervisor, is awesome.  He backs us, helps us – I couldn’t ask for more.  Now, that being said – I was on vacation the week before last – and it was amazing.  My best friend from VA was here – and we had a great time.  A time to decompress, catch up, and relax.  We both have a lot going on in our lives – both moms – jobs – and busy.  So just to sit and enjoy one another was a huge blessing.  I ended that week with a new sense of purpose.  Relaxed.  And a new mindset upon my “day job”.

The week went pretty much like normal, and I was smiling the whole time ( that part not necessarily normal).  But I had decided to be grateful for my job.  My co-workers.  My supervisor.  And when things rose up that would normally stress me out, I took a deep breath, and I was good.  I went through the week feeling amazing.  Until the last day of the work week.

I know it could be risky writing this, but – I feel like I have to.  If I don’t – I am being fake.  And my hair, nails, and tan might be fake – but my heart isn’t.  So I am going to be vague to protect myself.  But just hear what I am saying.

I witnessed corporate bullying.  Not on myself – or my co-workers – so no worries there, but nonetheless.  I saw it.  And I never have seen such a spectacle in my life.  I have never been so shocked – embarrassed and hurt for the people it happened to – the level of empathy I had was out the roof.  And I thought bullying was something that kids did in a school yard.  Not in a workplace.  So I write this, to say this.  If you ever partake of “corporate bullying” – you are no better than a child in a schoolyard.  In every environment that I have ever worked in – people discuss business like people.  Intelligently, calmly, with action plans in place. To me, that seems to be the right way to do it.  Never is public humiliation, or bullying an acceptable plan.  Ever.

So I am writing this, hoping to change one heart.  Just one.  If someone reads this who believes that is a proper form of business – reevaluate.   You will never gain the respect of other people, by public shaming.  Because guess what?  Not one person will be on your side.  Every single person will feel for the person visibly shaking and trying to maintain a businesslike composure.  That is the people who are classy – the ones when provoked – who stood firm.  I don’t know if I could do the same.  To be honest, I am sure I couldn’t.

And if you have experienced bullying as an adult or child – remember – It is not you.  They have something, within themselves, to where that is the only way they feel powerful.  And if you can keep from screaming, feel bad for them.  I wish I could say I feel bad for them – but not yet – I am still mad.

I’m ending this with a video of my vacation – because it was awesome – and remember what relaxing and being thankful is about.  And remember – you never know what someone is going through – use your words carefully.