Tag: work

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A few weeks back, on my personal facebook page, I posted the below :

You wanna know why that’s funny? Cause it’s true. This new year, I have been quieter. Well, this whole holiday season, (see the last blog). But I was still here, reading, and lurking… LOL! And I saw a little bit of everything from folks. From “New Year, Same me” to “Almost time for the gym to get busy” to “Make New Year’s Resolutions- but not about your body!” (I really saw that one, too!) And all of this made me think, about my own take on the new year.

I like it. Is it just another day? Sure. But is it a block of time? It is. I also like the beginning of a football game. I am a huge Baltimore Ravens fan, and there was nothing I used to like anymore, than Ray Lewis coming onto the field and doing his chicken dance. I loved it. And why? Because you knew that the game was about to start. Race on. It’s my starting line.

I am a Virgo. Competitive by nature. So it was no shock to my own self when I realized I was making baby goals in my mind. And some were big and some were small. Then I was thinking about how to achieve them, and then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks.

Last year was a tough year for me – mentally and physically. I realized in late September/early October, there is a difference in being a doormat and standing up for yourself. I am so lucky that I have some amazing people around me – who supported me – and talked me through this – and even encouraged me. Now, although I am not comfortable with it, I am trying to do it more often. It isn’t my nature, you understand – my nature is to be a people pleaser. So often times, I shut up and take it. Just not to make waves.

Sis, that’s just ridiculous. I have learned that you can stand up for yourself without being a raging lunatic. You can say “Stop.” You can say, “I am not going to allow you to speak/treat/talk to me that way.” You can create boundaries. And you can forgive the whole time you are doing it. I am realizing that disagreements, along with standing up for yourself, doesn’t mean the person hates you – or that you are killing a relationship. It just means, you are saying, this doesn’t work for me.

I am not a ‘wave-maker’ now, but I am heard. There’s a difference. I feel like, I have a right to be heard, as do you. And we should be able to express ourselves, exactly like that. I also believe, that if someone is doing something good, we should be supportive, right? As humans, all doing this life thing together, we should be nicer. I literally just said, we should be nicer. Why, oh why, aren’t we nicer!?!?

Well, and there was my answer. In 2020 – and from this point on – I am going to work on being more consciously grateful. Consciously Kind. And also, maintain respect for myself. And if I can do that? Well, I would dare bet – a lot can change, right? And notice, I said that I am going to “work on it.” I might not do it great, I might have days where I fail miserably. But what I do know is this – I can always do a little better than I did they day before.

I put this photo on here, because this was definitely – my favorite day this year.

So, join me on this gratitude journey. Try everyday, to think of a few things that you are thankful for. Big or Small. Then write it down. And here’s the key- don’t make it the same three or four things. Because then it becomes reciting, not feeling and thinking about it. And I am making my own rule here, My top two – will never make the list – and I say that because consider it unspoken. I am thankful for God and my faith, and for my kids.

So, I will start us off.

  • Love. I am grateful for love. Being loved. Loving others.
  • Modern Medicine and Alternative Medicine. When you have some of the health issues, I have had – you learn to appreciate both.
  • Having my best friend. A tell all. Another human to do life with – that gets you without judgement.
  • Coffee. I love coffee. I love the habit of it – the way it starts my day off.

So, big things, little things, and things in between. Tell me, what are you grateful for? Maybe, I am taking something for granted, that I need to appreciate a little more!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

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I am in a mood. Not a particularly good one either. I’m working on it, though.

I realized in the past 24 hours, that I am human, and I expect others not to be. That’s a crappy revelation. I mean, you can be sitting there saying, “Duh. We know you are human. As are others.” I mean it like this.

I have emotions, expectations, and things I need. I feel like I express them eloquently. Sometimes, I am sure I do. I also realized, that sometimes, I don’t. For the past 15 hours or so, I have been beating myself up over this, internally. I hardly slept. I realized, that not everyone is a mind reader, and just because I know my intentions are good, doesn’t mean they do.

Then folks, I started to question everything about myself. Am I a good person? Am I a good friend? A good mom? Yeah, I know. I went way down a really sad place. I cried because I felt like I really hurt someone. And to be honest, I did. I hurt them. Not intentional – but I did.

After some crying, talking, and praying it hit me. If you had someone crying to you over this same situation – what would you say? Now say that to yourself, Kristie. So here it is. “You are a good person. A great friend. You are there for people no matter what. You made a mistake. It wasn’t intentional. You are owning your mistake. Learn from it and don’t do it again. That is all you can do.” So, I am doing it.

I get comments, emails, and really – people telling me all the time how ‘strong I am’ and ‘how positive I am’. I also get tough, grateful, loving, and a menagerie of beautiful adjectives. I often always try to swipe them down out of embarrassment. Please know that today I am clinging to those, and thank you. It is helping me right in this moment.

And right now, I really didn’t feel like writing. I really didn’t. So I just wrote what I was feeling. Here is something to know. Motivation doesn’t happen naturally, either. That’s my opinion, anyway. I think it is completely unnatural. Everyday, I have to listen to positive things. I stay listening to self help books. Like today, when I felt down, I went through my Audible arsenal, and re-listening to some positive books I have downloaded. I have to remind myself of all the blessings I have. Write them down. So gusy, I ain’t perfect. I am super-flawed. I just gotta keep working at it. Maybe tomorrow will be easier.

Love fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat Nam.

Non-perfect, practicing, regular old me.

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Oooooh… controversial, right? Yas! I’m feeling a little sassy today!

Seriously though. My ‘real’ job – is literally a Customer Experience Manager. My job, is to make sure that your experience, at my shop, is amazing. We have that crap down, too. I mean, I am super good at my job. I am great at it even. Our scores show it. Customer Service is my pride and joy.

Now, you might be saying, “KRISTIE! The customer is always right!” Well, now you are wrong, too. Lol! Let me give you an example. I am at WAWA this morning. I am standing in the checkout line, and there are two people in front of me. Both people are on the phone. The young lady that was the clerk, was awkwardly trying to catch the first person’s eye. I know she was trying to ask them if they wanted a bag or not. She was also trying to be polite, and not interrupt their conversation. So, customer #1, talking his head off on his phone, never acknowledges the clerk. He is staring down at the credit card machine.

Once his total shows up, card inserted, tap tap tap, he grabs his stuff and walks out. Not even one nod of acknowledgment to the clerk. Customer 2 repeats the same process – almost exactly – and walks out the door. It’s my turn in line.

In that moment, I became painfully aware of my bluetooth earbud sitting in my ear. I quickly pause my audiobook, and pull the earbud out. “Good Mornin’!” I say.

The young lady says back to me, “Well, good morning! Thank you for getting off the phone, but you didn’t have to, no one else does. ” I replied in a panic almost! “I wasn’t on the phone, I was just listening to an audiobook!” She obviously didn’t care if I was on the phone or not – but for some reason I felt ashamed for the way the two customers in front of me behaved. She was such a sweet and lovely young girl working this morning. And those two people, missed an opportunity to engage with another human and to make her feel valued. They missed out.

That got me thinking. We live in a society of instant gratification. Self entitlement. The “I’M GONNA CALL MY LAWYER!” – Mindset. Remember in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, how Veruca Salt was a spoiled little brat. We, as customers, often do the same. I am including myself in this mix, so don’t get it twisted. We have amazon – get it quick. Cell phones with games or social media so we never have to be ‘bored’. Liposuction, Credit cards, Uber Eats, On Demand, Fast Food, Sudden service, WiFi, video games, grocery delivery, and the general lack of having to ‘wait’ for anything . And it seems, the more convenient things have become – that we have become much more impatient and much more entitled. You would think we would be more grateful, but it doesn’t seem so.

You want to know one of the reasons that my team and I are so successful in the customer service genre? In an industry that it is almost impossible to make people happy? I will give you one big tip. I DO NOT CHANGE MY CUSTOMER SERVICE MINDSET FOR ANYONE! So, my CSR’s are instructed to wait. And by wait, I mean this. We are in control of this situation, we are the professionals, so we are going to show you how it’s done. If a customer comes in- on the phone, and instructs me to go ahead and go over the forms while they are on the phone – I don’t. I reply, “These forms are way too important, and I want you to be able to focus on your call – as soon as you are finished with the call, you let me know – and we will get you taken care of. Take your time. ” And guess what, I mean it. I’m not being a smart alleck. These forms are important, and your phone call is also. There are humans on both sides of you. I will give you the time and space you need to complete your call. And then we will get you taken care of! I want to make sure that you are set up with a great level of expectation, and that we are clear!

In the 10+ years, I have never had one customer buck up when I refuse to do business while they are on the phone. I have seen a few look shocked, but that’s it. I want my customers to feel like they are connected to us and that we care. Because we actually do.

Now – let me explain to you a few things that happen at our shop. If you have never worked in the body shop industry – auto repair industry – you might not know. Consider this a public service announcement:

  • Machines make vehicles, humans repair them. We strive to be perfect, and get it as spot on as we can. Please, have some grace. We are human and it takes time.
  • Paint match. Listen, bumpers are different colors than sheet metal. That’s just the way it is. Paint adheres differently. Look at your car before your drop it off. If it doesn’t match then, it won’t match after. If it does now, it will then.
  • You, as the customer – deserve updates throughout the repair process. You should receive them from your insurance adjuster and the shop. An adjuster’s information is only as good as what the shop gives them – so if you have questions, call the shop.
  • Body shops want to repair your vehicle. If an insurance company says something IS NOT related, we have zero control of that. We get paid to repair, remember that. Screaming and cursing at us will literally get you no where. We can’t do anything without their approval. I can also guarantee you, that if you curse and yell in my shop – I won’t be able to advocate for you for anything, because I am going to have to usher you elsewhere as to not offend my other guests.
  • Body shops, especially shops like mine that do insurance work, are so regulated it is crazy. We are audited by everyone. So, we aren’t a crooked industry trying to make a quick buck off you. Just like all lawyers aren’t jerks. All accountants are not dull. Don’t make assumptions.
  • If you tell someone in a shop that you are going to contact your attorney because an insurance company is saying that something isn’t related. Please do. We want you to. So does the insurance company. We are well versed in this, and we aren’t kidding.

If you have any questions about the body shop industry – shoot me a comment or email me in the about me section. I’ll answer asap.

So, here is my challenge to you. Let’s try to be good customers. When we check out, tell your boyfriend to hold on the phone for a second, and talk to our clerk. Let’s show up a few minutes early to our appointments. If we go to pick up some shoes, and they don’t have our size, ask the salesperson if they can help find them – rather than huffing away or sulking. If you have to wait for a table at a restaurant, play a game of ABC with your kids and chat with your spouse. And at your next meal with your family – have everyone put their phone on airplane mode. Let’s be good customers to everyone we interact with.

I’m a realist. Sometimes, you are gonna get someone who sucks. An employee or business that is just subpar. Don’t get mad – don’t freak out – don’t yell. Just move on up the chain. Also, If you want some more Customer Service tips – Let me know. But, I can’t divulge all my secrets.

I gotta stay number 1.

Xoxo

The Best CSS squad on the Planet! (L to R) Eric, Rebecca, and Tariq!)

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine on.

Sat nam.

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*Disclaimer – this was written almost a month ago.  I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it or not.  But, today – I thought someone could benefit from it.*
I hope this helps someone today.
Too much to get into all the details – but today – I felt unappreciated.  It’s one of those things where it was weighing on my mind and heart.  Where you feel your heart, like are actually aware of the organ in your chest.  Swallowing seemed difficult.  And I felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders and wanted to cry.  
And then,  it hit me.  I am doing what I can.  And I don’t need the outside approval of others to confirm that for myself.  So many people are focused on being  perfect, rich, smartest, best, number one, etc – and I felt like, here I am – trying to make my tribe (and all those related to it) feel  loved and valued.  While trying to productive, perfect, make money, have the best numbers, look pretty, and be noticed and successful. And I don’t feel like anyone cares or appreciates it.  And yes – I just admitted – I care about all the things that I said others focus on.  I am not judging.  I am just saying, I also try to add value and love to those I interact with first.
It hit me.  Stop focusing on feeling bad.  Focus on the fact that you are alive and happy.  Realize that not everyone is always going to behave the way you want them to.  And just because they don’t – doesn’t mean that they don’t care.  It just means – that they might be going through their own stuff.  They might not feel like they need to acknowledge it.  And honestly, why do I expect acknowledgement?  Shouldn’t I be doing it – because I mean it, I love them, and I want the best for them – with no level of expectation back? 
Absolutely.  Sometimes, things can get so overwhelming for me – I feel like I can’t breathe.  I have worn my emotions on my sleeve for years – but one day, I started choking them down.  And just because I choke them down – doesn’t mean that they aren’t there.  They just aren’t seen as visibly to everyone.    So, to everyone who tells me how strong I am – thank you.  But the only real strength I have, is being able to hide my feelings from most people.  
Here is real talk.  I am not that strong.  I am actually pretty weak.  I have basic needs.  I need to be loved.   Valued.  And appreciated.  I get lonely.  I get sad.  I get scared.  I get overwhelmed.  And all of that can happen in under thirty seconds!  Where I feel weaker – is the fact that I struggle with admitting that I am human.  There is a total of about 3 people on this planet who know that part of me.  I am grateful for them – because without them – I’d probably lose my mind.   I don’t admit it often.  But today, I thought – let it rip.  Someone needs to know it’s okay to be human, too.   But while we are being human – let’s extend some grace to our loved ones and let them be human, also. 

Because let’s be honest – our feelings aren’t facts.

Xoxo.

Kristie

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******Disclaimer – this didn’t happen today.  I wrote this a few days back… Just wasn’t sure if I wanted to publish it or not – because it makes me look quite damaged.  LOL!******

So, today – I have experienced rage to the Nth degree.  And, as I drove home – with my temper flaming, I realized something…. So here we go.

Picture it.  Meeting a few people for the first time.  A friends of one of my best friends.  I’m kinda nervous.  I am going into a place where I know very few people.  But – I’m friendly, right?  OF COURSE!  That’s my thing.  My mom says, me and my dad have never met a stranger.   And that’s true.  I get there, and everything was great!  I met everyone, thought everyone was so nice, so friendly.  Everyone was easy to talk to.  I left with a smile on my face, thinking it was a good time.

And then, BOOM!  One of the people there, a female, said she got a “bad vibe” from me.  WHAT!?  I mean…… WHAT!?  We talked.  We laughed.  We ate.  I helped her carry her packages.  She told me about her trip and hometown.  I mean, the chances of me seeing this person again – Is close to zero.

But when I heard this – it wrecked me.  And I use the term wrecked – because that’s the best way I can describe it.   I felt myself bow up.  I felt the wind leave my lungs.  I was ready to fight.  I have not felt that way in years.  Let me rephrase that, decades.  And there it was.  Fighting, blind rage.  I felt like I could punch my fist through a wall.  And to be honest – my heart rate is still a little high.

So, I am driving home from work, listening to Pink(Because that’s my ‘go to’ rage music), an trying to figure out what kind of ‘vibe’ – I could have possibly been giving.  And then it hit me, right around track 7, that it’s not me – it’s her.  I was fine, happy, and myself.  And if she doesn’t like that – that’s cool.  I began to feel myself calm somewhat.  I’m not gonna lie – not a lot – but somewhat.

Which then led me to think about, why did I react the way I did?  How did the girl with bad self-esteem, anger issues, and insecurity resurrect herself by one phrase.  I mean, I thought that hot mess was long gone.  And by a person that I met for 2 hours – and will probably never see again?  Crazy, right?  I know.  Add that to my list of things I need to work on.

But here is the difference between 10 years ago and now.  Within one hour, I recognized it’s not worth  my emotion.  Any of it.  That being said, it still hurt me.  It’s stupid, I know.  But I am just being honest.   I truly believe that energy is completely contagious.  You are gonna catch what’s around you – positive and negative.  So watch what you put out there.  It just might really hurt someone more than you know.

And I hope, one day, this lady stumbles across the blog.  And maybe she will know it was her – maybe not.  But consider the things you say – and if it isn’t positive or constructive – think before you speak.  Until that day… Thanks for giving me an awesome blogpost and giving me some awesome creativity fuel.  I recognize I am still a work in progress.  But I like myself.  Each day – I wake up and look in the mirror, and I smile back at myself.