Yup, somethimes I hate myself.

Sometimes I hate myself, I really do.  Well, hate might be a little harsh, but I do get on my own nerves severely.  Anyway.  Here is why.  Today, while at work(imagine that – another epiphany while at work), I am sitting all around my pictures of Shaun.  Now if you don’t know me well, you don’t know how proud I was of Shaun.  I loved tellling everyone about him.  I showed them pictures, talked about him constantly.  People I worked with sweetly joked with me about all my notes in my lunches from him.  I loved to introduce him to people.  I liked showing him off.  He is the most gorgeous man I ever laid eyes on – inside and out.  And because I adored him, and loved him like no other man in this world, I couldn’t keep his name out of my mouth.  It was a constant.
Now, you might be saying, “Kristie, that’s awesome – that’s the way it’s supposed to be…”, and I concur. (I don’t think that I have ever used the word “concur” in a sentence ever. – Just a side note)  Anyway, I agree.  Completely.  But tell me this.  Shaun was a man.  An everyday man.  He loved me, yes – and he was the most important man in my life ever, true.  Why in the world, do I not talk about God and Jesus like I did Shaun?  I mean, that’s true unconditional and sacrificial love… and for all this time I have taken it for granted.  You know how you watch a movie, and there is the underdog who loves the girl who is popular, and she is mean and ignores him – unless she wants something?  She doesn’t want to be friends with him at school, but likes to hang out with him when no one is around?  Too concerned about what others might think?  You know the girl we love to hate?  Hello, nice to meet you – my name is Kristie and I am that girl.  Except it isn’t an “underdog” – It is God.  That was a low blow for this girl today.  And I won’t do it again.  I am going to try my best to show him the love and adoration that he showed me.  So, I will reintroduce myself.  My name is Kristie Greenberg – the wife of Shaun Greenberg (who is amazing).  And I am in love with a magnificent and powerful God, who loved me so much – he sacrificed his own child for me.  I am forever in his debt and want to bring Glory to him at all times.  That’s who I am.  I love you guys…


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