I used to love Sunday nights. Me, Shaun, and the kiddos would go to church. Then when we got home we might take a nap, then we would sit around and watch TV. Shaun and I would play Uno after the kids went to bed… and it was nice and relaxing. I feel kinda weird on Sunday nights now. Almost like I don’t know what to do. I throw myself into everything on Sunday nights. I make plans to do household stuff on Sunday nights. Like tonight, I repainted Isabella’s toes and fingernails. Gave her a bath. Dried, flat-ironed, her hair. Dyed my blonde streaks re blonde. (if that ‘s even a word). Gave Jacoby a long bath. Cleaned the downstairs. Had Tariq take a shower. Went through the clothes in his room – and I’m not done yet. I just keep trying to fill the time. I am ready for Monday morning – just so Sunday night is over. But, I love the time with the kids, I do. It’s just weird – kinda like a third dimension type of thing. Like something seems off kilter, and no matter how hard I try to avoid what I am trying to avoid – it’s lurking there in the corner. So, tonight I decided I would stop the crazy running around – and self admit that I am trying to ignore the fact that Sunday nights make me sad. So there it is. I said it. It’s out there. I thought writing it might help a little bit. but it definitely didn’t. 😦
Here is a little humor that just happened during the middle of this blogpost. Tariq and Isabella started yelling at each other over the iPad. So, I made them put it away. Made Tariq turn off his cell phone. And you wanna know my punishment for them talking ugly to one another? I am making them sit on the couch and hold hands. I am cracking up. They look miserable – feel free to use that one if you ever need to.
Shaun would appreciate that one.
Sorry to skip topics there for a second, but real life does occur during my blog. 🙂 Now you got proof. Anyway, I just am sick of feeling out of my element. I know that there are big changes going on in my life, and this might be a learning curve, some part of my journey. But please, please – just pray for strength for me. I kinda feel like a fish lost at sea. Love you guys.
I'm not really sure how to word this. I currently live in Spotsylvania county and received the Free Lance Star the other day. I read your story and to tell you the truth it broke my heart. As I was reading your story I immediately looked at my husband and thought what would I do if I lost him as you lost yours. I am soooo sorry for your lost as I hope things only get better for you and the pain will become easier on you. As I read your story I wanted to be there to give you a great BIG hug and tell you it was ok but I knew that I couldnt comfort you because you were only a person that I read about. So I decided to follow your blog and I mean I sat there for hours at a time reading. As far back as when you first started writing and when you were actually able to speak of it. Reading the blog reminded me how lucky we are to have that special person in our lives and made me cherish what I have through the good times and the bad. I read your post to this blog every night and cant wait for you to post them so I know how your day went as they are inspiring. I would like to thank you for giving us a day in your life as I think writing about it only helps you not to keep it bottled up. I tried to have you add me as a friend on facebook but went to your page and was unable to add so I will try again. I wanted to comment on everything you have wrote and say it was beautiful even though they are just the constant thoughts from your heart. I pray that everything is ok with you and your kids and hope that in time things have a positive outcome. Feel free to contact me back at Christie.Wilhite@gmail.com if you ever want to talk.
Praying for strength and comfort for you