13K and counting….

I can’t believe that as of today my blog has gotten 13000 hits.  That’s insane to me.  I had a blog for my photography company, and I didn’t get that many hits in 4 years.  I don’t know if that is something about this blog doing well, or maybe I am not such a fantastic photographer.  Not quite sure.  Either way, I am excited.  And it’s a weird excitement.  I hate the topic of my blog.  I wish this blog never existed.  I wish I never had a reason to write this blog.  So, I guess I have a love/hate relationship with it.  But I can say this. It helps me.  It helps me more than you could ever know.  Weird form of therapy, I suppose.  In a way, I feel like it’s a diary where I can say whatever I want to.  When I write this, it’s just me, they keyboard, and the monitor.  No one else.  And it’s nothing that flows from my lips.  Straight from my brain to my computer screen.  (Well, there is a little typing that goes on in the middle there…)  And, there really isn’t any editing.  I say what I think, what I feel, and I feel free to do that.  No one gives me the stink eye, makes me feel nervous, nothing like that, because it’s just me.  And I like that.

But then, I get these comments.  Emails.  And although I haven’t been able to respond to everyone – I have read everyone.  And I can’t thank you enough.  You know, as a widow, you fear the moment when others forget.  And you have made it known that you haven’t forgotten.  That you are still beside me – holding me up.  And let me explain something – you all have helped me.  It helps me to know that people care enough to read my blog.  Care enough about me, about Shaun, the kids – my life – to cheer me on and root me on.  The emails, comments, touch me in ways you could never know.  To know that there are people out there praying for me – people I have never even met – is mind boggling.  And I thank you.  Deep down from the depths of my soul I thank you.  And I hope that you never experience the need for that support, but I do need it.  I need all you guys.  You give me a focus each day.  I know a few things that are gonna happen each day.  Go to work, leave work, get the kids, feed them dinner, baths, bed, blog, sleep.  That’s the rough outline.  But it gives me something to look forward to each day.  In a way, I feel like I have a moment to rant, rave, cry, scream, and laugh – maybe all at the same time, maybe not.  But I have the opportunity to let it out.  So, thank you for allowing me to let it out.  Everyday, sometimes a few times a day.  But most of all, thanks for caring.  Keep the comments and emails coming – you guys build me up like crazy.  And I am going to try to start responding every Saturday.  Because, I really believe there are some awesomely interesting people out there that I’ve yet to meet.  And tonight, like every night – I will pray for you (I really do that, no joke).  Because I know this, if you are reading my blog, there are a few things that could be the reason:
1. you know me – hence you know Shaun – either personally or vicariously.
2. you know Shaun
3. you have suffered a loss
4. you have a sweet heart who cares
5. you want to know more
All of those reasons lay on my heart, and I am sure there are more reasons than five, but that’s a few.  So I love you – I pray for you too.  And if you have anything you need prayer for – let me know.  I do it a lot.  And I would love to throw ya in there.

1 Comment

  1. You have such a sweet heart and you are constantly in my prayers. How amazing to know that with all you have going on you take time to pray for us also! We both serve on the family advocate team at church, but I have only seen you in passing. I haven't gotten back on the FA schedule since I had my baby, but when I do you will have to come by and see me : )


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