I love shoes.  Adore them even – never met a pair I didn’t like.  But today, a pair of shoes broke my heart.  Me and my friend Brooke were searching my house high and low for staples for a staple gun.  And we go into the hall closet.  Well, after Shaun died – people brought a lot of paper products, and we just began storing them in that closet.  So, my sewing box is in there, and I thought, “Hmmm… could I have put them in there?”  So I open the closet door.  Start moving all the toilet paper, paper towels, etc. to the garage.  But then, on the floor of the closet, I find Shaun’s red and white tennis shoes.  Size 12 boats, that he wore with a red polo and look absolutely gorgeous.  And it almost hit me – he’s not going to wear those again.  He’s not coming back home.  And I cried and cried.  And, also in that closet – I found the Ravens flag that he bought for our new house.  I’d looked for it – but didn’t know where he had put it because we were planning to move.  So, it is now hanging proudly on our front porch.

I can’t believe that he is gone.  Still I can’t.  This is the first breakdown like this I have had for awhile.  I left the shoes in that exact spot.  I can’t bear to move them.  He was so proud when he bought them.  He thought they were his “preppy” tennis shoes… and they were.  He was so absolutely amazing.  So, a pair of shoes broke my heart – but the man who were them gave me a heart full of love that now is capable of breaking.  So, I am thankful to him for that.  But, my goodness, I miss him so much.