Back to My Narcissistic Blonde Self!

I’m back to blonde! And I am loving it!

Don’t get me wrong, being a ‘My Little Pony’ was a good time, but blonde is my go to. I feel like myself. And…. I can wear any color I want to and I don’t have to worry about clashing with my hair! Yep. That was an actual problem.

Oh! I hope you guys had a wonderful Valentine’s day! I did! I had such a good time! My sweetie got me a gorgeous outfit and heels – LOVED IT! And my babies got my flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. Then we spent the afternoon at Epcot.

Now, I put the word “Narcissistic” in there… did ya see that? Well, obviously I am not narcissistic. But I wanted to point out how freely I see people throwing around that word. So I am going to clarify something. Narcissism is a mental illness. A MENTAL ILLNESS. ILLNESS. And I am gonna be honest, I have dated some doozies in my day. But not a Narcissist. A Narcissist is rare.

So let’s stop using the term “narcissist” as a slur, when it’s a true sickness. It’s rude and disrespectful to those that have it.

And for clarity – narcissists do not try to make amends, do not try to protect feelings, are not caregivers – and are only self consumed. A narcissist can drop you in the blink of an eye – and write you off to never speak to you again. Not try to maintain friendships and working relationships.

So, you lie with dogs – you might get fleas. That doesn’t make them a narcissist anymore than it makes you one. Because often times, we can all look at ourselves in the mirror, and say we made choices that were only for self. Maybe we chose to go on a vacation, rather than a family reunion. Maybe we went to a day spa for mother’s day, rather than going to a nursing home to visit a grandmother. Maybe, we dated a person who was already taken, but we wanted them anyway. Maybe we invested money in stocks, with insider information and didn’t tell anyone close. Does that make you a narcissist? No. It makes you human.

But as humans, we can be so arrogant, that we believe that we are the center of the universe. We see it as “Look what they did to me”… when maybe it should be “Look what I did to…..”. We love to victimize ourselves. Myself included. I can tell you how people have screwed me over, and how right I am. But if we are honest, and real transparent, I don’t want people to see – that I have done wrong things in my life too. Things I am not proud of. But as God forgave me, I now have to forgive those that I felt wrong me. Because, how can I accept forgiveness – and not grant it? Wouldn’t that make me a narcissist?

But luckily, God knows we are human. And God knows our hearts. And God’s grace, well that is a beautiful thing. It covers us all. It covers your name calling – to murderers on death row – and everything in between.

For the past year – I have had the best year of my life. I really have. But to get here, I had to put my foot down back in 2019 and make some decisions. I had to extend grace. I had to pray. I had to work. And for some… I had to let go. I had to forgive. And with that came the biggest blessings of my life. It hasn’t been easy, not a bit. And some days are still hard. But everyday is worth it.

So, I say all that – to say this. I love you all. I am praying for all of you. Every Single One. From haters to fans. I really hope all your hearts heal, and you find happiness – extend grace – and self reflect. I know I have – and my heart is so happy. And I really want that for everyone on this planet!!

Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.

Sat Nam.

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