I am going to be real transparent here. I have never “unfriended” anyone. I have blocked them. Of those I have blocked, I only personally knew five of them. When I get super weird requests, inappropriate messages, etc. – that equals a block. The only people I have blocked that I have known, were toxic to me in one way or another. Not saying they are all bad people, because to be honest, they aren’t. Three of the five, mentally put me in a dark spot. Not of their fault – just of that time in my life. Two of the five? Yeah, kinda garbage in my opinion.
You know why I titled this I wish it was Nov. 16, 2009? Because it was Nov. 17, 2009 – when the word “unfriend” was added to the New Oxford American Dictionary. Unfriend is a sad word. To me, anyways.
That being said, I have been unfriended – and I was unfriended recently. The second I realized it, I reached out. I am never confrontational or opinionated on social media, to be honest I am quite vanilla. So when I saw that I was unfriended, I was concerned. I never want to hurt anyone, and if I do, I want to apologize. So, I reached out.
I sent a message letting her know I noticed and asking if I had done something to upset her. What I received back was a “No, I just have unfriended people that I haven’t talked to in awhile.” Whether that is true or not, is between her and Jesus. But, I did the right thing for me. And now I move on.
Here is why I am writing this. I am sensitive. But the last “unfriending” I went through, made me think. First, my feelings were hurt. We wouldn’t walk up to someone we know and just slap them, right? When I realized I was unfriended, it stung. Then I thought about it again. All relationships evolve. Some grow into beautiful and lasting connections, some end. This one ended. I trust that it evolved into what it was meant to be. She was right, we hadn’t talked in a while. Why? Because as we say in Tennessee, “I have nothing against her, I just don’t have anything to say to her.” I wish her well. I hope she has a lifetime of happiness and success.
And that was just my personal example. I am sure you all have yours, too. If you really think about it, you can get unfriended for a million reasons. We live in a society where people throw other people away for something so small. Many people also feel powerful on social media. You know, the keyboard warriors. Keyboard courage allows us to behave in ways we would never behave to people’s faces. Can you imagine going up to someone and telling them you do not want to see their guinea pig photos anymore so you are not going to be their friend anymore? Sounds hilarious when you think about it.
And to close this out, I advise you all – be politely discreet. I hide nothing, but I also don’t broadcast everything. My personal and familial relationships matter more to me than anything. So I keep a hedge of protection around those things. I do this, so this garbage doesn’t get into my home. Social media is a great tool, use it as a tool.
And if you haven’t read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I strongly suggest you do. One of the four agreements is :
“Don’t take things personally. “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”Don Miguel Ruiz
So chin up buttercup, and keep being the awesome person you are.
Love Fully. Live Fully. Shine On.