So, today is two weeks. It doesn’t seem possible. I think part of me is still in denial. Last night was no good. I just wanted him in bed beside me so very much. One of Shaun’s friends who he had somewhat lost contact with called me last night – he had just found out. My heart broke for him, too. I wanted to console him, but I can’t because I can’t even console myself. The feeling of being without the one you love – and the one that loved you back seems impossible. Because just because he is in heaven doesn’t mean that I am not in love with him anymore. I still am – I still feel completely the same way. I look at his pics, and I know what some of those looks meant – and it’s like he’s still there for a second. I kiss his pics, I hug his Urn. I feel like a morbid freak at times. I just don’t ever want to let him go. I wish I could put into words the sadness and longing that I feel. I can sit in a room full of people and I feel alone.