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Yes. Those are lyrics from “Seasons of Love”. Which is from the musical, Rent. The reason I picked that title, is because ….. I AM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY RENTAL HOUSE! And by rental house, I mean the house that I am a tenant in. Not a property I own. Currently, in my life right now, I am renting. One day, I would love to be a home owner again. But right now – and to be honest, the next two years, I am going to be renting. And here is why I say this. My kids are what I live for. Completely. And it is so important to my daughter, to stay in her school district. She is a sophomore in high school, and I don’t blame her one bit – I wouldn’t want to switch schools then either. So, after research, looking at how the prices keep going up in my area, I decided to stay put. I re-signed the lease, with the resolve that this place I have been living in for the past two years, was now going to be my home for the next two, God willing.

And if you follow me on any social media – you know I just had some issues with my house. It flooded. And it was awful. And to be honest, it was still in some sort of disarray. I didn’t feel good when I walked into my house. I didn’t feel good when I drove up. I didn’t feel bad, per se. It just wasn’t the excitement of being “home”. So, I was talking to one of my friends, and he said – “You have never made that place – YOU. That’s what’s wrong. ” Well, I then informed him how I didn’t want to waste money on a rental, with paint and what not. I didn’t even know if I could paint or not. And all the reasons I couldn’t make it better. He looked at me and nodded, and said – “Sorry, but I was going to be somewhere for two years, I think I would spend my money on some stuff to make it a little more homey. I didn’t say knock down walls.” So, I thought about it and took his advice. I contacted my property managment company, and they said I could paint. They gave me exterior guides for the door (HOA Rules, not theirs) and advised that I can paint the inside, but if it’s beyond neutral they may request that I return it to the original color. Ok. Cool. So, I decided that I didn’t want to look back at pictures years down the road, and regret not making it more homey.

So, first thing – I decided to paint my front door. I wanted it to be happy, and cheery. I searched color after color, trying to find the perfect shade. I searched Pinterest, HGTV, DIY Network, home listings – and then I decided on a shade. Coral. It was perfect. Bright, cheery, and very, well – perfect. So off to Lowe’s I go! I picked the color called “Coral Reef”. Not knowing what in the world I needed, (like there are a zillion different types of paint) I ask the paint guy. He walked me through it, made his recommendations, and then we were mixing up a quart of ‘coral reef’! And I was super pumped. Two of my three kiddos were with me, and they both approved, too! We got some rollers, 3M painters tape, and some brushes, and we were off!

The next morning, we got up. We taped off the door. And two hours later…..

THE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I had to find an old picture for my before, because I didn’t think to take one. LOL!

Stop the applause… stop the applause. I know it’s amazing. LOL! But seriously, the difference it made in my soul, was that was the amazing thing. And then I realized, that I had some work to do. So, I do what any good OCD/obsessive/journaling/blogging/ person does. I get out my “The 5 Second Journal” – and I made my list. My list was of the things that really bothered me about my rental. Because my number one, was the front door – because I hated seeing it when I pulled up. Check. Fixed. Here’s the way the rest went.

  1. Front Door
  2. Flooring
  3. Downstairs bathroom/ My Bathroom
  4. Kitchen Window
  5. My steps. Disgusting.
  6. Kitchen table
  7. Disarray of dining room (still was off kilter from the flood)
  8. I needed towels.
  9. Not enough art in my house.

So, I got my list. I evaluated my list. And here is what I determined for each item. And being the obsessed, OCD type. Here we go. And what I added, was $$$. Because let’s be honest. That’ is going to affect it big time. First, how much can I afford, will it affect my deposit, how much will it take to reverse it, cost benefit analysis.

  1. Front Door – Done. $27.00-ish
  2. Flooring – Deal with it. $5,000,000.00 (might as well be.. LOL!)
  3. Downstairs bathroom (I’d spend $30.00, maybe. Paint? I dunno) My Bathroom ($50.00 – new shower curtain/rug/trash can/ rearrange)
  4. Kitchen window (I just need curtains. I can make them. And a tension rod. $15.00)
  5. Steps. The rental company never cleaned the carpet when I moved in two years ago. It was wreck honestly. I was able to clean well the upstairs carpet. The steps.. just never seemed pristine. So, I called Stanley Steemer. $80.00. Booked the appointment.
  6. Kitchen table. I bought the table I have now, last year. It is circular/metal/wood and totally modern. It looked so cool. Eat at a spinning table with a nine year old. -_- Bad purchasing decision on my part. ($300-$600)
  7. Disarray in dining room. Free.
  8. Towels. Not really an option. I mean, I am not gonna drown getting out of the shower, but I seriously need towels.
  9. I make art. For myself. I enjoy doing it. I enjoy looking at. Hang it up. Free.

So, Now that i have my list together. I can start tackling. Subscribe to my blog, to see the next revamping adventures I do – good ones and failures…. If you haven’t yet… Follow me on Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram for some more positive info, laughs, and maybe we can help each other! I’m grateful for you!

Namaste and Sat Nam! Xoxo..

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Well. I ghosted for a few days. Figuratively and almost literally. I’m gonna share more than I normally do – just because it is something that I think needs to be addressed. Because if I am dealing with it, I know I’m not the only one.

I am the picture of health to most people. I go to the gym. I run. I do yoga. I meditate. I am proactive about my health. But it isn’t because I am health nut- it’s because I have to be. The past two years my poor body has been through the ringer. It’s been one of those things where I really say, what’s next.

Sunday. I got sick. Super sick. The type of sick where you really get scared. I was vomiting uncontrollably. It went on for about four hours. I slept in the bathroom floor for awhile. I went to bed, and woke up once to puke again. I woke up, saying “I’ll be better today!” And guess what. I wasn’t. I tried to talk myself into it. Although, I had quit puking. I felt like crap. My whole body ached. My feet hurt when I stepped on the ground. I figured after a good nights sleep, I’d feel better.

Lies.

I woke up the next day, and to be honest, I knew there was something off. I call the doctor- and I am instructed to go to the Emergency Room. So, off I go.

I was ashamed. Ashamed I was sick. Ashamed there was another problem. I was mortified that I would miss another day of work. Let me state- that in the three years I have been employed there- this is the fifth day I called out sick. So, as of last Sunday- 3 days In three years. And please know, my employers are fantastic. Two of those days- they forced me to take off. Because they knew the problems I was having. So it’s self induced- the panic and shame I feel.  It isn’t from them.  It’s from me. 

I associate, and I think a lot of people do, being sick with being weak. This association is only for myself though. Not others. I feel for others with health issues. I encourage rest, doctors, talking, time off, take care if yourself. But for my own self? Complete shame. I feel like if I was stronger. If I did something different. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten sick.

Well, this day- it was a ‘cardiac event’ stemmed from dehydration. To break it down- my heart was angry because I was dehydrated. I was given a million bags of iv fluids- and I am on the mend. It’s amazing how fluids can make such a difference. Who knew.

Guess who I contacted? Only the people I absolutely had to. Why? Because I don’t want people to pity me, or think – ‘now what’? Because listen. I’ve heard the tones before. When you have a weak moment and you tell a friend about what you are going through, and they seem- judge-y. It sucks. The “WOW. That seems like a lot.” Or “it seems like it something different every week. “

You are right, Karen. It does. And it doesn’t seem like something. It is something. But all the little issues all started with the big one. But please, tell me more about the person who had 14 items in the 10 item or less checkout. And keep being dismissive.

Yes. That was bitterness you detected. But this why I just keep my mouth shut. Shame. I was shamed once and became self conscience. So, I really kinda ‘suffer alone’- not even trying to sound dramatic. I could have asked a number of people to come sit at the hospital with me today- and I was scared. But I refused to ask. Why? Shame. Don’t want to bother anyone.  And I am so not kidding.  I literally have a list of people who would have came.  But because of one statement, by someone that I am not even really friends with at all, it clammed me up. 

So, if your loved one has health issues. Or you even know someone who is just struggling, health or not, and you are in a good mental place – Call.  Text them.  Reach out.  Let the speak freely.  It’s hard to be by yourself.  And just because someone is married, has kids, great parents – doesn’t mean that they don’t feel ashamed.  Autoimmunity, cancer, flu, or just a string of bad luck- let them know it’s okay to call them. It’s a lonely world when you feel shamed. This isn’t a fact that I have no one – I do. This is just me saying openly- it’s hard to let people in sometimes- especially when you feel like a broken human.57832145616__5040EA94-B9FE-440F-B011-59641F411E6F

Because some days. I do feel broken.  I understand.  It’s hard.

Then I gotta remember – God’s doesn’t let us be broken.  And then, I talk to my tribe and they reassure me.  That they love me.  They just love me.  And everytime, they tell me that.  A little bit of that wall comes down.  

And I am so grateful. For my health. My home. My family. My friends. I am a lucky one. 

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Huzzah!

I really just typed the word to keep with the whole “H” thing.  Fits though, right? I digress, and we are only one sentence in.  Focus Kristie!

So, I have skated around the fact in previous posts that I have had some health issues.  Quite a lot of them, if you ask me.  But, one of the ones that reaked havoc on me, was the diagnosis of Hoshimoto’s Thyroiditis.  Sounds wicked, right?  Guess what.  You are right.  It is.

Hoshimoto’s is an autoimmune disease.  If you are like me, I had heard the term before, but until I was diagnosed I had no idea what it was.  So, in case you don’t know – an autoimmune disease is a disease where your immune system attacks your own body.  So, you know, your immune system is supposed to attack foreign bodies, right?  Like bacteria, splinters, whatever.  In my case – my body says – “IMMUNE SYSTEM!  GATHER AROUND! THERE IS A FOREIGN BODY INVADING US! IT IS CALLED THE THYROID!  GO GET IT!”  This ridiculous proclamation is followed up with a strong warrior cry and steadfast speed to my thyroid.

Sis, I am gonna need you guys to relax and back up off my thyroid.  Quit being agressive.

They didn’t listen.  So now I have Hoshimoto’s.  I felt like crap.  Aching joints.  Dry skin.  Restlessness.  Depression at times.  Mood swings.  And I can’t handle cold.  Like I can’t.  We aren’t talking about the type of cold when it’s 30 outside.  Cold affects me different.  Like I can feel my bones inside my body.  It’s freaky and it hurts.

So.  Finally, They figure out what is wrong with me.  I had an awesome team of doctors who actually read my blood work and figured it out.  They put me on thyroid medicine, but also changed everything about my diet.  Yes, I said diet.  I know, not fun.  But whatever.  It is what it is.  Here is what I figured.  I have had issues and felt like crap.  The doctor is telling me that diet affects my health.  (And we aren’t talking weight watchers lose weight – like dietary eating plan).  Why would I not do it?  Because it’s hard?  Well, I can tell you dealing with depression and mood swings and ending up forever alone – that would be a lot harder.  LOL!

So here is where I stand today.  I am Gluten Free.  Dairy Free.  As organic as possible.  I also meditate.  Pray.  Breathe.  And a lot of other things.   But I am now going to share with all of you – with gluten/dairy issues – the best thing that ever happened to me.  And it’s a recipe.  An easy recipe at that.

IMG_9242

It might not look like much to you – but to me… It’s heaven.  In a jar.  So, short backstory – I can’t eat out without mega planning.  In turn, I pack my food when I go anywhere.  A few weeks ago, I forgot my lunch at home. We were slammed – and I resorted to Uber Eats.  I found a place called Purple Oceans Super Food Bar– here  in Orlando.  I got an Acai Bowl.  Never had one. But research and a phone call – I got a gluten and dairy free acai bowl ordered. And it changed my life.  I love it.  It’s like a healthy banana split sorta.  Anyway, I loved it so much, I thought can I do this at home.  Enter Pinterest.  From Pinterest, a little shuffling of the recipe – and I have now found perfection.  Here ya go:

1 packet of Sambazon Unsweetened Acai Smoothie Pack

1/2 cup of FROZEN strawberries

1/2 cup of FROZEN blueberries

1/4 cup of Unsweetened almond milk

1/4 cup of Diet Pomegranate/Cranberry juice

I make a few at a time.  And then, I pour it into mason jars.  And stuff them in the freezer.  Each day, I pull one out and throw it in my gym bag.  By the time 10 am rolls around… It’s sorta thawed, and delicious.  I use a stainless steel straw, and spoon!  You might want to add protein powder, if that’s what you do – or maybe whole milk.  Yogurt even.  Find what works for you!

It’s super healthy.  Full of anti-oxidants.  And delicious.  And I am not kidding when I say this – I always hated smoothies.  Like, Smoothie King, Planet Smoothie, Tropical Smoothie-I was never a fan.  This – yummmmmmmo.

Nutrional info –

147 Calories; 21 carbs; 6 grams of fat; 1 gram of protein; 12 g of sugar

And if you are in Orlando – GET OUT TO THE PURPLE OCEAN SUPER FOOD BAR (https://www.purpleoceansfb.com/) -For me – it doesn’t get much better.  I hope you enjoy!  Have a great and healthy day!

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Well, I guess I feel like owe you an explanation for last night’s video.  It was surrender and defeat.  That’s it.  That sums it up.   Today, though – is a new day.  And who knows?  I might be crying on Facebook later.  But hopefully, I won’t. 

You wanna know what is different this morning compared to last night?  Well, I can tell you what is the same.  My kid is still trying me. Well, in his defense he is still asleep – but you get what I am saying.  My bills are still ever present.  Health issues – exact same.  The difference is my mindset, for now.  That being said – that can change, too.  But hopefully, today – I kill it. 

I got a lot of direct messages last night, and some comments that you all can see.  And my whole goal in that video was just to let one person know they aren’t alone.  Because, tbh, scrolling facebook – I felt like the biggest loser on the planet.  Especially the day after Easter.  I saw the beautiful families in beautiful matching clothes.  Having beautiful family dinners.  And don’t get my lying – I even saw my own family having a beautiful dinner in Tennessee – but I can’t afford to travel home every holiday and I live a million miles away – and I chose that.   It made me happy but also jealous.  And yes – I don’t care what anyone says – you can have both emotions.  My therapist said so.  LOL!
And then, I looked at my own page.  And guess what I saw.  A beautiful family.  Having a beautiful family brunch.  And based upon my scrolling – we looked absolutely perfect and picturesque.  On the outside, it looks like we are happy, and killing it.  And we are happy.  And we are killing it.  But, here’s the freaking truth.  We struggle.    I struggle as a mom.  I question if I am a good one.  I have guilt when I just want to sit alone.  That guilt comes from me working. But I have to work, to keep a roof over their head…  I could go on and on with that alone.
I struggle financially.  I am a one income household and I got three kids.  To anyone with kids – nuff said, right?  At times, I wonder if I will ever be financially sound.  If I will ever not have that worry of money.  Today, with the sun out and shining down – I know that this is just a moment – and it will get better. 

I struggle with myself worth.  I struggle with admitting what my dreams are.  I struggle with the fear of people making fun of me, if I tell them what my dreams are.  And for those people who say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks” – LIAR!  LOL!  We are biologically designed to care what other think.  But I want to write and speak.  I want to let people understand how valued they are.  I want to help.  I want to change the world.

I also want to be healthy.  I want to travel.  I want to be married one day – madly in love with my guy.  I want romance.  I want to make it a full day without crying.  Or worrying.  Or questioning myself. 

I say all this to just say.  I feel you.  It isn’t easy.  So here is what this woman lies about. 
My lies: I’m fine.  Everything is great.  And sometimes, that is just false.  Not always – but sometimes.  Sometimes, I just want to cry and say “Today is freaking crap – My kid is being a jerk – I feel alone and overwhelmed – I’m sick of being sick… etc.”  But I don’t say it.  But now, I am gonna start.  Because guess what ?  My tribe, my closest, my people – all said – “You can tell me anything.  I understand.  I’m here.  What do you need.”  Also they said, “I feel that way too sometimes.  It’s a season.  We will get through this.  You are doing amazing.”  It helps.  Telling people helps.  Telling you helped.  Writing this helped.  (And just so you know, I didn’t fake cry in that pic.  That’s real tears, that I sent to my friend, because they were leaving.  Those were real tears. LOL!)

It’s okay to be vulnerable and have fears.  You know what makes it even better? It’s when you are brave enough to admit it to yourself, and your loved ones.  Because then, you start to see a shift. 
So, thanks guys – for everything last night and today.  Who knows.   Maybe this is the start of something amazing. 

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*Disclaimer – this was written almost a month ago.  I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it or not.  But, today – I thought someone could benefit from it.*
I hope this helps someone today.
Too much to get into all the details – but today – I felt unappreciated.  It’s one of those things where it was weighing on my mind and heart.  Where you feel your heart, like are actually aware of the organ in your chest.  Swallowing seemed difficult.  And I felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders and wanted to cry.  
And then,  it hit me.  I am doing what I can.  And I don’t need the outside approval of others to confirm that for myself.  So many people are focused on being  perfect, rich, smartest, best, number one, etc – and I felt like, here I am – trying to make my tribe (and all those related to it) feel  loved and valued.  While trying to productive, perfect, make money, have the best numbers, look pretty, and be noticed and successful. And I don’t feel like anyone cares or appreciates it.  And yes – I just admitted – I care about all the things that I said others focus on.  I am not judging.  I am just saying, I also try to add value and love to those I interact with first.
It hit me.  Stop focusing on feeling bad.  Focus on the fact that you are alive and happy.  Realize that not everyone is always going to behave the way you want them to.  And just because they don’t – doesn’t mean that they don’t care.  It just means – that they might be going through their own stuff.  They might not feel like they need to acknowledge it.  And honestly, why do I expect acknowledgement?  Shouldn’t I be doing it – because I mean it, I love them, and I want the best for them – with no level of expectation back? 
Absolutely.  Sometimes, things can get so overwhelming for me – I feel like I can’t breathe.  I have worn my emotions on my sleeve for years – but one day, I started choking them down.  And just because I choke them down – doesn’t mean that they aren’t there.  They just aren’t seen as visibly to everyone.    So, to everyone who tells me how strong I am – thank you.  But the only real strength I have, is being able to hide my feelings from most people.  
Here is real talk.  I am not that strong.  I am actually pretty weak.  I have basic needs.  I need to be loved.   Valued.  And appreciated.  I get lonely.  I get sad.  I get scared.  I get overwhelmed.  And all of that can happen in under thirty seconds!  Where I feel weaker – is the fact that I struggle with admitting that I am human.  There is a total of about 3 people on this planet who know that part of me.  I am grateful for them – because without them – I’d probably lose my mind.   I don’t admit it often.  But today, I thought – let it rip.  Someone needs to know it’s okay to be human, too.   But while we are being human – let’s extend some grace to our loved ones and let them be human, also. 

Because let’s be honest – our feelings aren’t facts.

Xoxo.

Kristie

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Good tag line, right? 

I bet ya are like… Woah.  Kristie is back!  I know.. I know… I haven’t posted in 9 months.  Think about that.  That’s the time it takes to have a baby!!!!!!!! I could tell you all the reasons I haven’t posted, but to be honest, I don’t even know what they are myself.  So, I can give you a little update.  It’s 2018, my first post of 2018! But 2018 has been good to me…  I mean, look at the title of the post. 

So, If you all know that chick, introduce me.  Because I am definitely not talking about myself.  But let’s be honest.  Life Goals.  At any given point, I might be one of those things, but not all three.   But I am a whole lot more intelligent that I was in 2017.  Forty has been good to me.  It has been super tough, but super great.  I am finally coming into my own self.  My own confidence.  My own voice. 

This year, I have learned a few things, and that’s why I am writing this blog.  I wanted to share.
1.  If there is something that you don’t like about yourself.  Change it. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.  If you don’t like your hair, cut it – or grow it out.  If you don’t like that you smoke – quit.  If you don’t like your pants size – do something to change it.  If you don’t like your attitude – check it.
2.  Take control of your self, but when you do that, take others into consideration.  I have seen so many girlfriends lose themselves in a relationship – or lose a great relationship because of themselves.  There is nothing healthy about someone who is always demanding, negative, or threatening in any relationship.  The “you better or I will….” or the “if you love me…” .  It’s too much. And people can only take so much.
3.  If you stay calm, everyone gets calmer.  I swear.  It’s true.  Breathe and stay calm.  Good lessons, especially for work situations.
4.  Take time for yourself.  Do yoga.  Meditate.  Take baths.  Listen to Audiobooks.  All good stuff.
5.  Do something is self help each week.  I don’t know what that is for you – but find it and do it.
6.  Wear yoga pants whenever possible… but be careful wearing them outside the house.
7.  Be okay with telling your significant other/parent/child that you want to see them.  Spend time with them.  Don’t be afraid to show you  care and can be vulnerable.  If they don’t make you a priority – you might need to reevaluate the need. 
8.  A thoughtful text can change your mood.  Completely.
9.  When people love you – they encourage you to step outside your comfort zone.  Don’t get mad at them for it – they see something you don’t.
10.  Eat Guacamole.  It’s a health food.  And delicious.
11.  Get to know what your family and/or significant other’s love language is.  And do it.  If your child’s is gift giving – stop by 7-11 on the way home and get them their favorite candy.  If your s/o is physical touch – kiss them on the lips for more than a peck, or make some time for “sexy time.” 
12.  Don’t keep your compliments in.  Just don’t.  If you love a stranger’s skirt – let em know.  You think your s/o is the most gorgeous person on the planet – let them know. 
13.  This is for Ladies Only.  DO NOT – I REPEAT – DO NOT… EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO NOT HAVE GIRLS NITE.  Ladies, we need time to bond.  I don’t care if it is GNO – brunch – phone conversations – make your friendships a priority just as much as your romantic relationships.  This goes for married, single, dating – I don’t care.  Cherish your friends and make time for them.  And guys, encourage your ladies to do it. 
14.  Be a good parent.  Make your kids come first.  They will notice it.  For real.  And please, discipline them.  Don’t let them be out of control crazies. 
15.  Be a smart social media user.  Don’t be negative.  Don’t be mean.  Don’t be skanky. 
16.  On the genre of social media.  If someone is rude, negative, makes you feel bad about yourself – block them.  You don’t owe them an explanation, but if they ask.  Tell the truth.  Simple. 
17.  If you don’t know how to do something, get on YouTube.  I guarantee there is a video for that… My fave is Kandee Johnson makeup videos, but… I also learned how to thaw an AC unit.
18.  Last but not least… Be kind and pray.  Make sure you love on people. And let yourself be loved.

And that folks, is a wrap for today.  Lots of  Life lessons.  Even more Gratitude.  Love you guys.  Never sink.  Xoxox

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This morning, I woke up – and felt a little off.  Off like in annoyed.  Ya know what I mean.  That annoyed where you just wanna get under your warm blankets and sleep for another 15 minutes (which might escalate to two hours).  So, let’s just say I was a touch cranky.

Then, I swallow.  And I shook my head.  My throat was killing me.  On one side only.  So, I saunter myself into the kitchen, probably feeling sorry for myself, and start to fix some tea.  While the water is boiling, I scroll facebook. There was my reality check.

I have friends who are sooooo sick – not a scratchy throat.  I have friends who have family members who are battling cancer.  I have friends who have lost husbands, fathers, wives, and children – all within the past few weeks.  And here I am, having a pity party for my scratchy throat.

Then, my snapchat streaks and “good morning” texts start going off.  Had a friend with a flat tire.  Another friend who has a child that is puking.  Another friend who is in the process of looking for her nephew. And here I am, having a pity party for my scratchy throat.

I fix my tea.  I walk upstairs.  In my home.  I open my closet, and pick out my clothes.  I take a hot shower.  I put on my makeup.  I kiss my three healthy kids goodbye.  I go to my garage, to my jeep.  A jeep that has gas in it.  I drive to my job.  My job that is amazing.  I hug all my co-workers, because I genuinely love these people.  Yet, there I was having a pity party over a scratchy throat.

Now I am not here to say that we aren’t gonna have bad days – but let’s just put our bad days into perspective. Here is what it boils down to.  I am loved, so much.  And I made to feel loved every day.  My kids are wickedly amazing and healthy. I have a great home.
My job is super cool, super fun, and I love everyone I work with.  I have a roof over my head, a car to drive, and live in an amazing area.

I will Thank God this morning for my scratchy throat and facebook.  Because both gave me a reality check on how absolutely blessed I am.  How God is completely in control.  And how I am humbled by the psycho amount of blessings he has bestowed on me – when I don’t deserve it.

I love you all… and Merry Christmas.  Xoxo

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As a relatively new Floridian, I have only been through one hurricane.  And that was Hurricane Matthew.  And for those that are in Central Florida during Matthew, it didn’t seem much more different than a regular summer thunderstorm, it just lasted longer.  So, when the news started talking about Hurricane Irma, I wasn’t scared – I wasn’t nervous – I was just like… “I’m sure it’s not gonna be that bad…”

Well, first of all, I will openly admit when I am wrong.  I WAS WRONG!  I WAS SO WRONG!  COMPLETELY WRONG!  Now, people are gonna ask why I stayed.  Here’s why.  This is my home.  This is where I live and work.  I was never in an evacuation zone, had I been in one – I would have went.  But when I started getting nervous – and feeling like I might should leave, I couldn’t.  I mean, I could have – but that was scarier.  There was a gas shortage.  Traffic for days.  And the thought of getting stuck in a town, during a hurricane, not knowing where to go to – or getting stuck on the side of road stranded and unable to get gas – was much scarier than just staying put. 

And, I want to educate anyone who hasn’t been through something like this – because I didn’t know it until I lived it – but guys, a hurricane is expensive.  So all these people you see going through this – don’t just think about the damage to their homes, there I a lot of money that goes to prepping.  And prep properly.  If you board up your windows, figure about $20.00 per window.  You need 20 sandbags?  Add another $50 to $100.  Now, plan on a week without electricity, water, and having food to eat.  Prepping for a hurricane can cost up to $1000 or more.  Depending on the level of prep – and the size of the family. We aren’t even talking about the clean up, deductibles, time of work because your job is out of power – etc.  This can really, really hurt people’s lives, and knock them so far down on their feet they can’t get back up.  I was blessed in this aspect.  But I see it all around me everyday since.  And it’s so sad.

This hurricane was the absolute scariest thing I have ever been through.  When you have three kids all looking to you for assuredness that everything is gonna be okay, that’s a lot of pressure.  Especially when you are scared yourself, and have to act like you aren’t.  It was at it’s worst in my area from midnight to about 4:30 am.  That is a long time of wind screaming.  Trees bending sideways.  I was sure, that when I went upstairs, there wouldn’t be one.  Water coming in from the floorboards.  And pitch darkness.  It was worse than any horror movie I have ever been in.  And all the while, I had friends texting me – checking to make sure that I was okay. And I was doing the same back.

And then, the sun came up.  And destruction was everywhere.  Shingles littered the ground like French fries in a McDonald’s parking lot.  It resembled a war zone.  People out walking just stunned.  Neighbors I haven’t seen outside before are out and talking.  People are hugging, and asking if you need anything.  When the sun came up – the outpouring of love of my neighbors, my friends, and gratitude came with it.

We were without power for 3 days.  And that was awful.  But not near as awful as the people who still don’t have power.  I never realized how much I depend on electricity.  And here is an FYI also, no electricity – no cell phone towers – signal was blah.  Just trying to call someone was a nightmare.  Our houses are built to be energy efficient!  Which keeps the house warm in the cold months and cool in the warm months – IF YOU HAVE POWER.  If you don’t… your house becomes Satan’s playground.  Your home smells weird, from lack of air circulation.  Your dirty clothes pile up.  You can’t vacuum.  Inside starts looking like a war zone, too.  And then the day that you get glorious power back.  It’s a huge relief.  HUGE. 

So here is what I have learned.  I hate hurricanes.  I never want to ever go camping.  I love electricity.  But most importantly – I am so grateful that God had his hand on me and my family and friends – because he is the one who protected us.  I am so thankful for my amazing work family  and friends – who all texted me throughout the night, just checking on me.  I am so thankful for my friends who did the same.  For everyone who offered me a place to stay when we were powerless.  But I also learned I am a true Floridian.  I love this place.  I love the people.  I love my neighbors.  I am madly in love with the people I have met here.  I have also learned, if they ever call for a hurricane that size again, this girl is out.  But, I will come back – because Orlando is home.